Paths Cross
by LividTears
Summary: With a criminal record, Sano has fled to China, leaving his life behind. Ten years later, Megumi has followed him into a world of war and opium, but when their paths cross again, they'll find that change happens over time...& no one is who they used to be
1. unexpected

IMPORTANT HISTORICAL NOTE: This fic, "Paths Cross" revolves around The Opium War, a historic war that took place in China during the 19th century. Unfortunately, had history worked to my advantage, The Opium War would have taken place after the Tokugawa Revolution and Meiji Era the Rurouni Kenshin series is based around. In reality, The Opium War occurred at around the 1830s to roughly 1860s, well before the time of Kenshin and company. (For example, Sanosuke was born in 1860...I think...).

In this fic, I am just making it out to be that The Opium War did occur after Japan's Meiji Era. Please keep in mind that the Opium War IN REALITY did not occur after the Meiji Era. I am writing this fic with the time period in mind, meaning the setting of China IN THIS FIC is how it would have been during the Opium War.

The events and reasons that caused the Opium War will be touched upon in this fic. I will attempt to keep this fic informative, while at the same time, not cause a snore fest. If you feel the need to research more on the Opium War, please feel free, but it is not necessary.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This fic is alsowhat I would like to call a continuation of my previous RK fic, "Memories." Lucky for most readers, you don't have to read "Memories" in order to understand this fic. However, if you are interested in "Memories," please feel free to read it!

WARNINGS: There isa reason why this fic is rated R... Also, this fic revolves around Sanosuke and Megumi as a couple, so if you, for some reason or another, have a serious problem with this couple, I would not advise you to read any further.

Please enjoy, and reviews are always welcome!

* * *

Paths Cross

prologue: criminal

_Kenshin stood in the disappearing clouds of the long-gone storm, his feet planted sturdily on the wooden planks of the entrance to the Aoiya. The storm had finally lifted, and little by little, color was returning to Japan, although the water still remained. But Kenshin did not feel this relieving color within him...inside he remained grey._

_His thoughts were interrupted by muffled footsteps from behind him, and Kenshin glanced back to find Sano standing there, a solemn expression pasted on his face, and a bag made of sturdy material slung over his shoulder. _

_"Yo Kenshin," Sano greeted Kenshin, and slowly moved next to where Kenshin was standing, his eyes tracing the Kenshin's gaze, watching the clouds move with him._

_"What's wrong, Sano?" Kenshin asked. The uncomfortable silence signaled everything to Kenshin._

_Sanosuke's lips formed a straight line in a grim expression as he faced Kenshin. It was then Kenshin realized how tired Sano looked._

_"I'm not going to lie or anything Kenshin," Sano started, "I'll just get straight to the point."_

_Kenshin nodded._

_"I got word that I'm wanted as a criminal now. What they've got on me, I don't really know. All I know is that I can't put any of you guys in danger, especially with the police and what-not. So I'm off," Sano sighed, "Somewhere where it'll be hard to track me, ya know? I'm thinkin' China. Always wanted to see the place...maybe it'll..." Sano trailed off._

_Kenshin still did not speak._

_Sano continued heavily in a husky voice, "Kenshin...I really doubt I'll be coming back, so...well...China's gonna be nothin' compared to you guys, and I'm not runnin' off 'cuz of all of you...I..."_

_"What about Megumi? Have you said good-bye to her?" Kenshin interrupted, turning to Sanosuke with a questioning glance._

_The fighter paused as he stared down at the ground, seemingly fighting an inner battle, "...No...I haven't. I think it'll be easier this way though...If she asks where I've gone Kenshin...Tell her...tell her..."_

_Sano could not find the words, and Kenshin made no move to supply them. He merely nodded as he whispered quietly, "I understand Sano. Sagara Sanosuke...thank you for everything you've done for us, and good-bye. Stay safe."_

_Sanosuke shook his head with a stubborn bitter sweet smile on his face, "No Kenshin...I should say thanks."_

_Sano turned his back, the Aku symbol twisting and turning in the breeze, his voice carrying on that wind in a hushed voice, "Arigato...gozaimasu."_

_Kenshin watched Sanosuke disappear on the horizon...Watched until the dully bright light blinded out the Chinese symbol, erasing it into the plains, forevermore..._

* * *

chap. 1 - unexpected 

Waters of turmoil washed up on the grey shore, muddied waves flowing and ebbing, drifting back and forth from river to land. The sky hung in an overcast, and cloudy swirls of mist curled about her ankles as she stood gazing into the horizon.

Megumi sighed tiredly. Time and the happenings of the era had erased the energy and jubilance she had once had. All that remained now was the sadness of the life that she now lived. More often than not, she deeply regretted the choice she had made, but she knew she could no longer turn her back on the decision she had staked.

However, she did not have long to brood, for a deep, hoarse whisper from behind her penetrated her thoughts,

""Scuse me, miss, but would you know of the location of Fox Eyes?"

Megumi turned around, and smirked at the man, "Depends who's looking for her."

"Please...please, Fox Eyes, I have brought the required amount. You promised, so let's make the switch," the man's voice went from cowardly to demandative in simply a few heartbeats.

Megumi stared at the dishelved man for a few more seconds, "Eyes of a fox..."

"And claws of a wolf," the man returned, "Yeah, yeah, sorry, I forgot to mention the password."

Megumi shook her head, a smirk on her face as she retrieved something from inside her kimono's sleeve. The small packet brushed against her skin, and she extended her hand for a handshake.

The man returned her smirk, and shook her hand, allowing small pieces of metal coins to slip between Megumi's fingers while she let the packet slip between his.

"Pleasure doing business," he said, smiling in the most disturbing way.

Megumi kept a monotonous expression on her face as she nodded.

He turned his back and began to walk away, leaving Megumi to examine the coins. The exact amount.

Megumi sighed, and allowed her serious, stern composition to melt away, giving way to the fragile, delicate face of Megumi Takani.

* * *

Not long afterwards, Megumi walked back into town, her feet shuffling the dirt beneath her. Her shadow hung long on the ground, the blood red color of the setting sun lighting her path, flinging shadows at her feet. She slowly made her way towards a familiar building, and walked inside. 

Inside, the smell of alcohol and rotting wood reached her nose, and inwardly, she gagged at the smell. But she had learned to get used to it, and placidly made her way to one of the back rooms.

She slid the fusuma open, allowing the thin paper door to shut behind her as she stepped into the room. Inside, there was only her, and the shadows formed from the flickering candle in the middle of the room.

She sat on a cushion, and waited. In her mind, she wondered what she was waiting for, but she sadly laughed those thoughts away.

_I'm waiting for someone...that someone that left me. But no...I don't think he'll be coming back. That's why I'm here. Alone; no one at my side._

How long she sat there, she knew not. But not long afterwards, she heard a deep voice yell from the entrance she had walked in not moments before. His voice was muffled, and the words were unrecognizable from where she was seated.

She stood up, and the paper door of the room was literally ripped down as a man entered. He had a red bandana around his forehead, with the Chinese character for "bad" printed upon the center. It took Megumi a few seconds to realize that he was wearing a sort of uniform, and suddenly, his expression went maniacal, a wild grin creeping at his mouth.

This smile scared Megumi, and she felt herself stepping backwards, wanting to create as much space as she could between her and this man...this soldier...

Outside of the room, she could hear chaos, and the yells of men erupting into what, as Megumi figured, must have to be a sort of brawl. But who was this man? And could it be possible that there were more soldiers of his kind outside? Were they even soldiers?

The man advanced, his voice a growling tone,  
"My, my, you're so pretty. What's a beauty like you doing in a shitty place like this?"

Megumi chose not to respond as she frantically attempted to calculate a way out of the room. But before she could realize it, she found herself cornered into one of the dark shadows of the room.

"You talk?" the man smirked unpleasantly.

Megumi felt a disgusted expression crawling at her face, and before she could stop herself, she spat at his face.

He looked mildly surprised, but the expression wiped away as he lifted his hand to clean Megumi's spit off his face, "Feisty, aren't you?"

He lifted that same hand to her face, and Megumi flinched at the touch. His finger was rough and calloused, and it was no sense of comfort as he traced his finger the length of her face.

Megumi felt her heart beating rapidly, and unconsciously, her hands gripped at the wall's corners, wanting to fling herself out of the room, as far away as she could from this man.

Suddenly, she felt something on her mouth, and it took her a moment to realize the man was actually shoving his mouth on hers. His breath reeked of sake and old tobacco, and he smelled of mud and the dirt beneath her feet. Her stomach retched at the taste of his mouth, and she frantically attempted to push him away with her hands, but he roughly deepened the kiss, shoving her hands off of him. Megumi kept her lips clenched against the kiss, then she lost grip, and received his thick tongue through between her teeth. He pulled away, and smirked.

What disgust she had felt had disintegrated, and the only emotion pumping through her veins was fear. She wanted so badly to scream, but she couldn't find her voice.

"Like that?" the man asked, his tone laced with an indescribable tone.

"You bastard!" Megumi found herself saying, "Get the hell off me!"

A slap went hard against her face, and she felt the pain tingling at her skin.

"You'll get something more painful than that, the next time you struggle."

Megumi gasped, and she fought as hard as she could as he shoved his mouth on hers again; she punched and hit as hard as she could, but they were proving to be no help. He pulled away again, and lifted her up by the kimono, slamming her back against the wall.

She felt her breath escape through her lungs in one monstrous gasp, and she struggled to breathe; his mouth was now moving away from her mouth and he was now working his way down. He kissed at her neck, and more than anything, she wanted to find a way out. She was being humiliated in more ways than she thought possible. The walls seemed closer than usual, and she felt like the room was closing in. She was covered in disgust that she could not wash away.

Her breathing came ragged in fear as he tore at her kimono.

"Get the hell off me!" she screamed as loud as she could, only to be silenced by a hard punch across her cheek.

"Shut up," he breathed, "You're making this harder than it should be. You should be enjoying this."

If she could, Megumi would have snorted in disgust, and in truth, she was. She was beyond appalled and she felt reality detached, swirling around in her eyes in a confusion she couldn't straighten.

He returned to ripping at her kimono, and she felt it fall away, her shame exposed to him. He left a trail of sloppy wet kisses down her, and Megumi pushed at his head, attempting to push him away. Maybe...maybe if she could get him away for a second, she could get away, and he wouldn't get any further.

"BITCH!" a roar bellowed from behind the man, and a fist contacted with the man's face as he fell to the ground in front of Megumi.

Her rescuer continued to beat the man, punches flying at mad angles and kicks landing perfectly. Blood flew, and splattered at the walls, drops of red staining the shadows. It wasn't long before the man lay unconscious on the floor, his eyes rolled upwards, the whites bloodshot, and blood dribbling from his open mouth. Megumi's rescuer turned his back, and Megumi gasped as she saw the character written on his back.

"You okay?" he said gently, bowing his head and closing his eyes, allowing her privacy.

"I..." Megumi stammered, shakily returning her kimono on her shoulders, and tightly tying the knots at the front, "I'm...f-fine..."

"You dressed?"

"Y-yeah..."

The man turned to face Megumi, and she still continued to gape in astonishment, despite what had happened. His face, weather-worn and rugged, had not aged at all, but had matured into a sad, handsome expression. A small stubble of a beard was growing at his chin, apparently left unattended.

Megumi almost couldn't stammer out his name, but it left her lips in shaky syllables,

"S-Sanosuke..."

* * *


	2. fox eyes

Author's Notes: A big thanks to the readers who reviews, they were appreciated! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and of course, I would love some feed-back.

Disclaimer: Jeez, in all my rush last chapter, I forgot to mention this. Well, I do not own the original plot and characters of Rurouni Kenshin, but all outside characters and the plot of this fic are mine.

* * *

chap. 2 -fox eyes

"Yup, that's me," Sanosuke smiled tiredly, "Are you alright, Megumi?"

Megumi was shaking all over, and couldn't stop shuddering as tears welled up in her eyes. _So long I've waited...and now he's here standing in front of me, and I can't say a thing. _

"Whoa, whoa," Sano stepped forward instinctively at Megumi's tears, but stopped short as he was about to put his hands on her shoulders. He hovered uncomfortably above her, and added in a gentle whisper, "Listen, you can rest up at our camp for as long as you need."

The words "our camp" made Megumi's ears prick up curiously, but she nodded slowly as Sano led the way, his footsteps echoing eerily in her mind.

They traveled into the room that Megumi had come from not minutes ago, and she gasped at the scene that lay before her. Although the place had been in shambles in the first place, nothing could describe the mess and whirlwind that had torn through the building. Chairs lay broken and tabletops turned and shattered to pieces. Men lay next to the broken furniture, just as broken. Blood flowed alongst side the alcohol, mixing and intermingling, seeping into the cracks of the wood-boarded floor.

Megumi stood in astonishment, and Sano turned around, looking from her to the room.

"I'll explain when we get to the camp," he said.

Adding to the turn of surprises, Sanosuke went outside of the building to greet a group of men, all dressed in similar uniforms. In fact, she noted, they were all dressed like the man that had attempted to rape her. She shuddered at that thought, but stayed by Sano's side as Sano nodded them off. With nothing else but that wordless sign, they hoisted themselves onto horses and rode away to some place unknown to Megumi.

Soon, Sano and Megumi were the only ones left.

"You can ride the horse," Sano said simply.

Megumi turned in puzzlement.

"The saddle can only fit one rider, and to try to add another person wouldn't be safe. I'll just walk next to the horse."

She nodded as Sano gently helped her onto the horse. She sat with both her legs on one side, and she held onto the reigns for dear life.

The trip was taken in silence. Deep contemplating silence that stung the air and held heavy in breath. Megumi was relieved that they reached the camp in minutes time, and she gingerly lowered herself from the horse.

Taking in her surroundings, she noted heavy, cream-colored canvas tents in neat rows and columns. Fires could be seen every few feet, flinging flames, smoke, and ashes. Shadows of men and horses mingled into one, and then, she suddenly noticed, she was at the center of it all. The largest tent lay before her, and she stepped forward as Sanosuke beckoned her into it.

The flaps closed with a "thump" behind her, and her eyes widened. The inside of the tent was neat, a futon folded at the center. Clothes lay simple on the floor, where a soft, white cloth had been placed to keep out the dirt.

"This would be my tent," Sano grinned. He walked into the back and took out two cushions. He tossed one to Megumi, who fumbled as she messily caught it.

He lowered himself onto the cushion he kept and motioned for her to do the same, "Sit."

Hesitantly, she stepped forward and lowered herself onto the soft, silk-lined cushion.

Awingly, she was still taking in everything. Although not luxurious, the life Sano seemed to be living was full of simple pleasures, and Megumi felt a million questions creeping into her mind, just waiting to be let out. Millions of questions that could have burst out of her mouth, but at the last minute, jumbled,

"What..."

Sano smiled tiredly, "You're looking at the Captain of the forth Squadron."

"You...joined the military?" Megumi asked in a whispered surprise.

"Hehe," Sano coughed, "Naw, that's made up bull. I didn't join the military. Wouldn't dream of becoming one of their lap-dogs. 'Stead, I formed my own army. We don't really have a name, but since everyone's noticed I carry the Chinese character for 'bad' on my back, that's kind of become our...umm, motto-sorta-thing, I guess. In case you didn't notice yet, all the men wear a headband with the Aku symbol."

Megumi's eyes suddenly went avert, "No...I noticed...that man...he had the symbol on his headband."

Sano's eyes hardened, and his words went straight to the point, "Listen, Hiroshi was a bastard. A son of a bitch who always fooled around. All he concerned himself with was money and bribing higher-ups just so he could become promoted. I'm sorry that he almost raped you. As his Captain I apologize on his behalf. I also want to let you know he's not setting a foot into this camp ever again, or coming ten feet near any member of this army, or I'll be damned. I also want to let you know that you shouldn't judge us. Not all of us are like ­­­­­­­­­Hiroshi...in fact, none of us are. We fight for what we think is right, and that's good enough for us." Sano finished his long, winding speech in one breath, and his eyes were burning with a flame that never went out, an almost angry look that almost scared Megumi.

Megumi nodded shakily; she hadn't realized how much Sanosuke had changed not in a bad way, no. He just seemed...different in her eyes.

Or maybe she was different. Maybe it was she who had changed.

* * *

Megumi gulped, "So...er, what exactly do you fight for? What do you believe is right?"

Sano snorted, "Pheh, what else? The Opium War's been going on for awhile now, and China's army didn't interest me. There was too much politics and crap I didn't want to involve myself with. So, I formed my own army. We make raids that shut down all major opium trading bases. I've got spies that collect information, fighters, swordsmen...you name it. Unfortunately...or fortunately, I guess...our name's been growing, and our raids have become less and less surprising. But we won't stop until opium is completely wiped from China."

Megumi laughed nervously.

"That's why we were in that building today. We were tipped, and decided to check it out. It's a well-known inn, and I don't think I would've suspected it to be an opium hangout. Heh, what do I know? Turns out that place was one of the biggest opium dens in China," Sano huffed, and crossed his arms, closing his eyes, and leaning backwards. He suddenly opened one eye at Megumi,

"So what I wanna know...is what you were doing in that building? I mean, I know it was an inn and all, but what are you doing all the way here in Canton? Why are you in China, period? What happened to Kenshin and the others?"

Sano had so many questions to ask, but restrained himself as he stopped at his fourth question. He opened both eyes, and stared expectantly at Megumi, expecting an answer from her.

Megumi bit her lips, her eyes muddled with confused colors. Her voice came in a soft hushed whisper, as if afraid to hear her own answer,

"I don't know much. But after I learned you left..." Megumi's voice broke as she heard those words leave her mouth; she swallowed hard as she forced herself to continue, "I...I went after you. Ken-san mentioned that you might be in China, so I dropped everything, my dreams, my ambitions...to search for you."

When spoken out loud, the words seemed foolish.

Sano stared back at her with an unreadable expression. Megumi stared back; as far as she could tell, Sano was acting like nothing had happened. As if they were simply friends who had been separated after a few years. But it had been more than a few years, and they had been much more than friends. _Had been..._Megumi thought. The rooster-head wasn't making a big deal out of this at all. In her mind, in her dreams, she would always imagine finding Sano, and she would run into his arms, and he would wrap himself around her, whispering words of comfort, sorry, and apologies...of regrets and loneliness.

But never had she imagined it to be like this.

Sanosuke stared expectantly at her, waiting for her to continue.

She gave in, and spoke in a raspy, broken voice,

"I know Kenji, Kenshin and Kaoru's son, he's doing fine. I don't know the details, but I heard Kenshin is rarely home. He wanders about as a rurouni, but Kaoru made him promise to always return home. He told Kaoru he had something to accomplish. Kenji hates him for that..."

"And you? How'd you hold up in China?" Sano asked suddenly.

"I...I...well, it was hard, Sano," Megumi paused; his name sounded so foreign on her tongue, "But..money became an issue after awhile. I spent years on the streets, wandering, attempting to find a place that would hire a doctor. But, the British came with their opium through the Silk Road, opium began to spread, and the Opium War set in. During these times, there was little use for a doctor...but more of a demand for opium dealers.

"It was easy to obtain any flat, tasteless opium from anywhere. People didn't want that. The people of China began to experiment, and craved the opium laced with other drugs. And only a skilled pharmacist could conjure up what people were looking for. It pays well too..."

Sano's eyes began to widen with realization as he listened to the words that left Megumi's lips; he did not want to let himself believe it. His voice came, shaken with anger and disappointment, with surprise and shock, with emotions that began to tear at him,

"You...You became an opium dealer!"

Megumi's lips began to quiver, as her voice cracked, "I...I didn't want to...but I was so desperate...so desperate to find you, to live...just so I could see you again."

"Wait," the Captain's voice came in a succinct tone, "You...You're Fox Eyes...!"

Tears began to well in Megumi's eyes, laying delicately on her lashes. The salty drops began to cascade as she nodded to the familiar name she had been given over the years of dealing opium.

Sanosuke suddenly stood up, a monotonous expression pasted on his face. His voice came in an even tone as he stared directly into Megumi's eyes,

"What you've been doing all these years...goes against everything I've worked hard for. Against everything Kenshin's been preaching. In my world, it goes against reality."

Figures blurred before her as she heard his clearly spoken words,

"Get out, Megumi. And I never want to see you again."

* * *


	3. echoes

Author's Notes: Oh wow, thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed thus far. I'm glad people have actually taken interest! Please continue to read, and of course, I would love to know how I'm doing.

(Hi again LadyBattousai! Thanks for checking this fic out! hehe... And yes, I'm mad that RK has been taken off Cartoon Network, and yes, I did send in a comment to CN in an attempt to make them re-air the series...Hopefully our attempts will not be wasted.)

Disclaimer: I don't know how many times I must repeat this, but no, I don't own any part of the original Rurouni Kenshin series. (otherwise I'd be stinking rich)

* * *

chap. 3 - echoes

Clouded images reeled past her, but Megumi paid them no mind. She couldn't pay them any mind. Her whole head was enveloped in the turmoil that had just crashed down upon her, engulfing her in emotions she had never thought she'd feel again.

Sanosuke never wanted to see her again, and the words cut through her like a sword through flesh.

The clatter and clamor continued on, rustling in the noises of everyday life, but she could not concentrate on her surroundings. Her feet carried her where she wanted to go, yes, somewhere deep in her mind she knew where she was going, but made no attempt to acknowledge that fact.

She passed through the streets like a wandering shadow.

Suddenly, her feet stopped walking, and she tore herself out of her misery, staring at the iron gates of the place she called home. After years of dealing the opium the thought alone made her flinch her earnings had been able to buy her a satisfactory place to live. She decided she wouldn't buy a large estate, for she figured it would draw attention to her, but purchased a moderate-sized house, and it kept her satisfied.

Until now.

Suddenly, the place she had once thought of as an escape, was now a looming creature whose shadow hung black and bleak. Her eyes filled, and tears streamed down her face. Her back was to the public road; no one could see her tears. _Of course...no one ever has seen my tears...I've been alone this whole time._

The words echoed in her mind, repeating again and again, and she tiredly trudged through her house, pushing herself to at least making it to her futon, where she could collapse onto her futon, and sleep for an eternity.

_Sleeping forever is like death...maybe it's a peaceful one._

The thought had entered her mind, but she could not register it. The figures before her began to whirl and tip, cascading in alternating dips. A wave of nausea suddenly swept over her, and a foul taste retched at the back of her throat.

She felt herself tipping forward as she passed out, the blackness rushing up to greet her.

* * *

When she next awoke, she felt a cold surface pressed against her cheek. Her skin was flaked with dried tears, sticky and dirty. She lay there for awhile, wondering what she could possibly do to convince her to keep on going with her life. This whole time, the thought of meeting Sanosuke again had driven her forward, it had inspired her to do the things she had done...but now...she had met him again, and he had pushed her away.

Weakly, she pushed herself up with her arms, letting her hair fall onto the ground, framing her face. Slowly, she forced herself to sit up, and gasped at the sudden pain that pounded at her head. She put her hand to her head, and tiredly sighed, blinking at the brown floorboards beneath her.

What she was going to do next, she knew not. Possibilities ran through her mind like a runaway train, but each seemed as desperate and hopeless as the next. She didn't know if she had the heart to continue what she had been doing in China for so long. The guilt would tear at her, slowly eat away at her, and Sano's words would echo in her mind in a never-ending cycle, tormenting her. Always she had been able to justify her actions, telling herself, _reassuring_ herself that it was for the better that in the end, her sins would bring her the happiness she was longing for.

But the price had been paid.

She couldn't sell herself out, she knew the punishment for opium dealers, and she did not have the courage to face it. She had little courage to do much of anything.

_So what is it then? Am I to sit here forever, locked in these four walls and grieve?_

Megumi wished she could.

Her mind searched for something that would comfort her in times that she needed most. She could come up with nothing, but nonetheless, drove herself to stand up. She stood on two wobbly legs, staggering to the small kitchen towards the back. She lit a fire and boiled water to make tea.

She collapsed onto a cushion, directly in front of her low, Japanese-style table. She stared at the tea leaves that lay buried beneath the tinted water, and forced herself to drink. The liquid warmed her throat, but had to be swallowed down, gulped down along with the lump in her throat each time.

Her mind wandered to the tea leaves tea leaves were eagerly traded to the British in exchange for the opium that flowed into China. The leaves, silk, paper, and any valuable Chinese good was traded. The Silk Road in Canton had its uses.

Her eyes filled at the simple thought of tea leaves. Everywhere she went, everything she did, was connected to opium and the thoughts of Sano. As if almost being raped weren't enough, Sanosuke's face had to haunt her.

* * *

The next few days were empty ones, filled with nothing but mindless wandering and mindless chores of things that had no need to be accomplished. Whatever appointments Megumi had set up with her clients, she avoided, and remained holed up in her house. However, when she did leave her home, sometimes, when she found she needed to, she kept her face well-hidden beneath a scarf or handkerchief.

Of course, these days were blurs, groggy reels of black-and-white films that were scratched and unmemorable. She avoided the touch of others, whether it be the slight brush against the shoulder, or other things. She decided thoroughly that she would rather keep her distance from others, as she now preferred it this way. The simplest touch from another would send shivers running down her spine, and unwelcomed memories playing through her mind.

On one such particular day, when she felt the need to get out and about, she walked up and down the streets of Canton. Many rickshaw boys scampered up to her, talking in rapid Cantonese, asking if she would need a ride. She shook her head at these boys, and sighed at the poor lives these boys lived. After days of work, their feet would blister, their backs would bend unnaturally, and the younger rickshaw peddlers would get the majority of the business.

But she continued down the narrow street, avoiding others, not sure where to go. The people around her hustled and bustled about at their own pace, and jostling about at their own business to attend to. She sighed ruefully, _Why did I leave the house if I don't need anything?_

She passed a group of Russians, who eyed her monotonously as she passed. After the Red War in Russia, many Russians had fled to China, some as far as Shanghai. There were enough of them so they could form what everyone called "The Little Russia" in China. But Russians weren't the only ones. The French, the British, the Americans...they all flocked to China in some hopes of obtaining the slightest piece of the China pie.

But the Chinese were not so pleasant with Japan. The relations between the two Asian countries had been declining, as China had banned all imports from the country. Megumi kept it to herself that she was of Japanese origin; of course, little bothered to ask, as all they were after was her opium. She had been able to improve her Cantonese over the years, and she was near-fluent by now.

Megumi shook her head, as if attempting to toss the thoughts from her mind. She had almost been able to think of other things besides opium, Sanosuke, and her near-rape, but her thoughts had circled back again, and she was shoved back into her original depressed state.

The blood-red sun was slowly sinking into the horizon, melting into the line that divided ground from sky. _I really should be heading home..._Megumi thought hopelessly. But she suddenly discovered that she had wandered far from home, and it would take her another half an hour for the return journey on foot; she did not wish to ride the rickshaws.

_Sanosuke's camp is nearby, I think..._

The thoughts sprang into her mind instantaneously, and a sudden, sad frown came upon her lips. Perhaps she would eat dinner at a restaurant before trekking home by foot, alone...

* * *

"Oy, Sanosuke!"

Sanosuke turned at the sound of his name.

"That's Captain to you."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the soldier grunted, and a troupe of his friends trudged right along with him, approaching their Captain with smirks on their faces.

"So whatcha get at with that pretty woman?" he smirked, speaking his words softly as if they were words only meant for Sano's ears.

Sano was taken aback by the question, but answered nonetheless, "Nothing."

"Aw, come on, Cap'n! We know you got somethin' serious goin' on wit' 'er," he sighed, "I know I would've had myself a lil' fun...She was a pretty one, tha' she was."

Sanosuke rolled his eyes and began to walk away.

"Jus' gonna let ya know, Cap'n, you had a funny look on y'er face when ya left y'er tent," the man sniggered, and led his friends away.

Sanosuke felt a small tinge of red grow on his ears, but immediately cooled down as he decided to walk around the camp. Many of his soldiers, as useful as they were in battle, had taken full advantage of China's now growing popularity among prostitutes. He also knew fully well that most of them had had their fun with the sing-song girls, but Sano himself had never taken part in any of it. Ever since he left Japan, he kept a low-profile, until, of course, recently, when he formed his troops. Besides, the thought of ten-year-old-prostitutes was enough to make the hairs on the back of his hair stand.

As he passed, the brown-haired man nodded at several uniformed men, who saluted him in return.

Thinking about it, Sano did not seriously intend for there to be a uniform among his men. The collared red-and-white jacket that the men wore was what he wore as well, with the exception of the Aku symbol printed on his jacket and not the others'. They all wore loose black pants, but besides that, the men were free to do what they wished with their attire. Of course, they bore the headband with the "bad" symbol printed upon the center, but that was always fashioned to each individual's likings. Sanosuke would never let go of the symbol, and after discarding his white fighter's outfit, his current uniform would do more than compensate. Such uniformity among his men was merely a wistful wish...

_Speaking of wishes..._

Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine he would come face to face with the Fox again. Never. _Alright, maybe in my _wildest_ dreams, but never in reality_, Sano thought grudgingly. He was swept away with so many emotions he did not know what to do. He kept his composure, of course, but deep inside, he wanted to take her back into his arms. But he figured she would hate him for leaving her so long ago...

_Ten years it's been, I think..._

Those emotions had welled up so strongly within him. But yet...when she told him of her activities in China...dealing opium? She was the last person he would expect to be doing that shit. He thought she had left opium behind her; opium was what had almost driven her to kill herself when she was forced to make it by Takeda Kanryu. So why did she return to producing opium to destroy more lives? The unbearable anger and disgust at the word had allowed the forceful words to escape his mouth.

But what he feared most was that he meant those words. He did not want to see Megumi again so long as she continued to produce and deal opium. He never wanted to come within ten feet of her presence if she had affected so many lives with her lethal opium.

Before he knew it, Sano had reached the edge of his camp, and he found himself staring at the horizon, where the orange-blazed sun started to melt into the ground, casting long, black shadows.

Just the thought of opium and Fox Eyes made his soul burn with such a rage that had always been lying within him.

If seeing her again meant giving up his morals, he would kill her himself.

* * *


	4. aku

Author's Notes: Hello...I'm sorry I've been gone for quite awhile now. I took a long break from writing for reasons that I don't even know... But it's okay, I'm back. Hehe.

Um, I should've addressed this earlier -- although I'm not fond of flames, I don't mind them, but I only accept them on one condition:that they have proper justification and critique. I don't mind being critiqued, but please, let's critique nicely.

Anyways, thank you so much for reading this far or for returning. As always, I would love love love to know how I'm doing.

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is currently not under my posession. Currently.

* * *

_Notes to Readers -- _

_To Crewel:_ Yeah, I was seriously debating with myself whether to have Sano say that one line (where he'd kill Megumiif he saw her again)...it wasn't something he'd really do, but when you get really mad, you tend to say things you don't mean, and in this case,I thought I'd leave that one line be.

_To LadyBattousai654:_ Hi again! It's alright, I will perfectly understand if you don't get to my fics for a looooong time...No worries. But thanks for taking the time out to keep up with the fic! Honestly, it means a lot.

_To Mirune Keishiko:_ First off, thanks so much for the thoughtful review. The thoughts you put in there really will come in handy for the plot I'm attempting to build. I'll be sure to include your thoughts into the ficand incorporate them in the proper place. Thanks so much for the suggestions and I hope you like how this fic turns out.

_To Everyone Else (no one specific, just literally everyone else...): _THANK YOU!

* * *

chap. 4 -_aku_

Flickering candlelight swayed with the night breeze that entered with each customer through the thin wooden door of the inn. In the far corner, Megumi sat, where the darkest shadows were cast off of the stained cream walls.

Although she would have preferred not to have left her home, she had done so after realizing that she had nothing edible in her home. So, she had thought despairingly, she was forced to exit the confines of her house the second time that week -- this time to an inn that had a tiny restaurant residing next to it. She mindlessly made a note to buy more groceries. But for now, she thought tiredly, she would grab a small bite to eat.

She rubbed her already blood-shot eyes, tired from the crying and angsty thoughts that continuously crept into her mind. In front of her, a modest bowl of rice sat with chopsticks laid across the rim. But besides that, a jug the size of her hand stood, its mouth delicately curved so the warm rice wine would fall graciously into her flat, ceramic drinking dish.

A grumpy looking waiter had twice come to ask her for her order, but she sat dumbly, staring at the piece of parchment enscribed with various dishes in her hand and not aware of what she was actually doing. He had left twice, muttering curses under his breath in Shanghainese about stupid travelers and such.

Megumi drank another shot, and let the _sake_ melt in her throat and warm her. She had already lost track of how many she had had, but it didn't really matter to her anymore. She poured another, and watched the liquid swirl, gather, and fall into the wide dish.

She drank again.

Subconsciously, Megumi knew she was attempting to rid herself of the pain plaguing her through the mind-numbing effects of the wine. But the other side of her embraced this fact with open arms, ready to find an escape from the hell she had put up. She had to get away somehow.

And she didn't really care how.

She found her cup empty, and poured mechanically.

Megumi felt the lines creased tightly across her face loosen ever-so-slightly, and her body seemed to want to dreamily float into mid-air; sway on that exact breeze that once again, blew through the door.

* * *

The narrow street reflected in his glassy brown eyes, both sides of the path spiraling to the horizon, until it was nothing in the vague line beyond. Buildings of old Chinese architecture stood awkwardly next to the most recent Western buildings, its looming wall a dirtied white. There were no lights on this street, and in the shadows, figures hid discreetly, their presence hardly known. 

Sweat began to bead across his forehead, his eyes squinted in concentration. Beside Captain Sanosuke, his men began to shift restlessly from foot to foot, the rustle of their uniform evident against the sharp silence that he had demanded to be present. Although the total number of soldiers Sanosuke had recruited were only twelve (thirteen when Hiroshi had been present), the sound resonating from their shadowed figures was louder than he had hoped. Overhead, cloudy black mist concealed the silver stars that would have otherwise stared down at them in prickles of light.

His heart was beating so fast, throbbing against his chest, palpitating so that it threatened to disturb the eerie night. But he wasn't about to allow this to happen.

He steadied his men by raising his hand, signaling them to wait a bit more.

He pursed his lips, biting down on his tongue to prevent his breathing from coming too loud.

Finally, his ears pricked up at the slightest noise of a _fusuma_ being opened. His eyes picked up the dulled light that suddenly streamed through the window's paper covering.

It was time.

He lifted his hand once more, and let his fingers bend to motion them to make their move. He allowed them to move forward, their footsteps light and soundless against the damp dirt that fell just feet away from the building they had surrounded.

One of his men turned his head, and watched closely for the slightest movement from Sano. He nodded at him.

Yells ensued.

Deep roars pierced the air as blades, fists, and daggers did.

Sanosuke grunted with deep determination and set off after his men into the building.

The wooden door had been smashed down, and lay in broken, splintered pieces on the floor, but Sanosuke knew what had been painted on the door's surface in blood-red ink: _Aku_.

It was their mark, the insignia they had adopted. Before they struck, Sano sent out one of his men to paint the mark of "bad" on the building in beautiful calligraphy, simply stating boldly that a warning had been given. More often than not, their targets never heeded the warning, much less understood its meaning.

Sanosuke was snapped back to reality by a charging man. His eyes were unfocused, clearly a result of abusive opium use. Sano snorted, disgusted, and threw a punch clear across the man's cheek. The man fell to the ground in a heap, and lay still there, clearly unconscious.

The room was cramped, but large enough to fit a decent amount of people. Low tables and cusions lay either ripped, smashed, or splintered as frenzied fighting continued. Sano's soldiers were cornering every man that had been in the building, while the once taut occupants were now scrambling in a frantic attempt to escape the raid that had begun.

Men of every ethnic background had been in the room. Sano knew no drug knew no race.

He snaked through the room, knocking down whoever dared approach him, and made sure that the drug merchants were either unconscious or bound by rope. He would let none escape.

A soldier marched triumphantly up to Sano and did a half-salute,

"Captain, we've got everyone."

"You sure?" Sano asked, wanting to make sure.

"We're almost positive."

"Fine. Get all the men outside then. Don't harm the ones that are conscious. The one's that are unconscious we can't really do anything about...just make sure everyone's out of the building, got it?"

"Yessir."

Sanosuke's orders were obeyed immediately. Past the broken furniture and bloodied floorboards, the opium merchants were hauled out in a slightly less than gentle way.

"You bastards! Get y'er nose outta business that don't belong to ya!" a conscious man roared. His right eye was swollen to an alarming size, and bruises were painted across his face. He began to struggle with the soldiers that were attempting to get him outside. The man vaguely tried to kick the nearest soldier, and Sano knew immediately that they were going to have a hard time pulling him outside smoothly.

With a twinge of hesitance, Sanosuke ordered softly, "Put him out."

The soldier holding the man obeyed, and swiftly hit a major pressure point behind the man's neck. He gave a soft "ooph" and his head fell limp against his chest, unconscious.

They didn't have much trouble with the other prisoners, and once they were all outside, another man ran up to Sanosuke, saying almost-cheerfully,

"Raid was a success, Cap'n."

Sanosuke nodded in return, "Yea, but we got one more thing to do."

The soldier walked off, and returned with a torch burning with fire in his hand.

"'Ere ya go, sir."

_"Arigato."_ Sanosuke abruptly clenced his mouth shut. The man wouldn't know Japanese words if it smashed into his head. Sano mumbled in a pitiful way to correct himself, "Thanks..."

Sano lifted the torch, and with a mighty roar, he heaved it into the building.

The wrecked building, which had been doused with kerosene, immediately caught the flame, and the red-orange flames began to lick at the fuel, dancing like lithe figures in their black eyes. Sanosuke watched the flames spread, the eager heat feeding off of the wood and fabric that had remained.

Sano knew that the flames would also consume the opium that had been well-hidden in the building's caverns.

He raised his hand, and signaled for his men to pull masks over their mouths and noses. The cloth came across his face, covering everything but his eyes, and protected them from the poisonous fumes of opium that began to creep into the atmosphere. Sano's eyes began to water, and his flushed face was layered with sweat, his face glistening in the light of the heat. He knew it was time to leave.

Once again he motioned at his men, and hoisted himself on top of a dark chestnut horse, his men riding not far behind.

The hooves of their horses echoed in the night, synchronized with the beat the flames danced to, swaying mockingly in front of the prisoners, who were left to be dealt with, this time with real officials.

On the forehead of each prisoner, of each opium dealer, merchant, or producer, either unconscious or conscious, was painted one Chinese character.

_Aku._

Bad.

* * *

Sanosuke and his men returned to their camp, weary, exhausted, but feeling accomplished. Although Sano would have liked nothing more than to fall gently into bed in his tent, the hooting and woots from outside his tent prevented him from doing so -- his men were celebrating the raid's success. 

The spikey-haired man would have thought he would have gotten used to the routine by now. He was either tipped off, or he found out about an opium den; then, he would send out a scout to mark the territory and all the crooks and cracks of the building. And finally, the raid. They virtually always attacked by the shadow of night, hidden well under the cloak of dark stars. And then, Sano knew, when they would return, hopefully with success, there would be celebrations. Perhaps _sake_ would be poured around, and a popular Chinese alcoholic beverage Sanosuke did not know the name of.

But tonight, covered in sweat, grime, and blood, Sano did not feel like taking part in the celebrations. He was happy, oh, yes, he was thrilled that yet another raid had succeeded. But yet, a deep feeling inside of him abruptly welled to the surface, taking over him and suffocating him. He felt that he did not know what it was...But yet, a voice inside his head was taunting him..._Yes, you do know what troubles you...It's Megumi...you've hurt her once again, but this time you sent _her_ away..._

Sano grunted in irritation and frustration, the ambivalent feelings rushing to the surface. He loved and hated Megumi at the same time. He loved her for her presence. But he hated her all the same for being alive. He loved her smile. But hated her acts, her judgments, her life, her past.

He was playing a game with himself, and Sano did not like it one bit.

The sound of a voice startled him, snapping him out of his thoughts,

"Yo, Captain, dontcha wanna have some fun?" One of his soldiers sauntered into Sano's tent, and smiled broadly, "I think we're going to go out to one of those pleasure houses. Matashi says there's a great place down by the Pearl River that'll take in people without appointments."

Sano tried to smile back, "Um, no, that's alright. I'll stay right here."

"Aw, come on Sir," the soldier said in a whine, "You've worked real hard and you could do with some fun. Those pleasure houses know how to take your worries away. 'Specially after you sent that pretty woman away, I think you'd need it."

Sano stiffened, "No, it's fine. I think I'll turn in early...in fact, I don't think I'm feeling too well."

"You sure then?"

The brown-haired man nodded, and immediately turned his back, stating without words that the conversation was over.

Sano heard the rustle of the flaps of his tent being pushed open, then fall back into place with a whoosh as the man stepped out of his tent. Sano sighed.

He rarely celebrated with his men, and he did not know why he should start now. His head had begun to throb, though he did not know why, and he suddenly thought it best that he _did_ go to bed early.

Sano huffed, and went to work to setting out his futon, spreading the sheets out on the tent's white floor. Sano wasn't sure if it was just in his mind, but he thought he heard a sudden hush spread over the campsite -- the sounds from outside had suddenly silenced into an anxious intake of breath. Something pounded at his head, while simultaneously, he thought he heard his name being muttered.

Curious now, he stepped outside. A rush of cold air brushed at his face in greeting, and he gazed about, taking in the usual fire lit campsite and the few men that had chosen to remain. A shadow crept at the surface of the tents, moving, swaying, tipsy.

He let out a small breath, and knew why his men had suddenly gone quiet.

Megumi walked through the tent's rows, her walk unbalanced and uneven. She walked on two uncoordinated feet, and as she grew closer, Sano could see her cheeks were flushed a brilliant pink, her eyes glazed over in a stupor.

How she had made it into the camp, remembering exactly where to go in such a drunk state, had Sano amazed. Or perhaps she only knew where to go because she was so drunk. Sano did not know, and he did not care to find out. Begrudgingly, he approached her, and saw exactly how drunk she was.

She must have had far more than ten shots...and it was a miracle she was conscious.

Her eyes were unfocused and stared at some faraway place while Sanosuke addressed her, "Megumi...yo, Fox, you drank way too much, you know that?"

Her speech was slurred as she responded, "Sanoo...why arrrrre you talllking tooo me? Thooought you neverr waaanted to taaalk to me again."

Sano shook his head, and overwhelming sympathy took over as he knew he had to somehow get her somewhere else. Her face was a mess, and he could see stained lines on her cheeks -- evident paths of tears that had painted a place for themselves. She was to be pitied, he thought, rolling his eyes.

Megumi attempted another step, but almost fell forward as Sanosuke rushed forward, catching each of her shoulders in his hands. She was unpredictable when she was drunk. He knew she wouldn't remember anything in the morning...and she would have a headache the size of China itself.

"I hope you can hold your liquor, Fox..." Sano muttered under his breath as he swept Megumi off her feet. And using one hand to support her back and with his other situated beneath the crook of her knees, he carried her into his tent. He knew his men would talk in the morning -- rumors would spread -- but right now, he didn't care much about it.

Megumi continued to rant and ramble all the way to Sano's tent. When he finally had dragged her into his futon, he could have smiled at her dishelved figure. But he didn't, and wordlessly walked out of the tent as Megumi spoke her last slurred words before her head slumped onto her chest in unconsciousness,

"I only did it allll tooo see you aagain, Sannooo..."

* * *


	5. drunk

Author's Notes: Happy birthday to me...Happy birthday to me! Hehe, yes, it is my birthday, and as a little gift, I thought I would update. Yay. Special thanks to everybody who reviewed, they were very much appreciated. Please keep reading, and please keep telling me how I'm doing!

And my age? Haha, that's for me to know and you to guess. (If you so wish to take a stab at it, I promise I won't be offended or anything).

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is an awesome anime that I don't own. Ah...well...

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chap. 5 - drunk

Dulled sunlight streamed through the heavy tent's canvas, and shadows pinpricked every here and there, creating an eerie effect. Birds twittered in some faraway branches, and the usual hustle and bustle continued on.

Megumi's eyes slowly creaked opened, sleep falling from her eyelids. She squinted, but did not attempt to sit upright, for even when she was lying down, she knew, a throbbing headache was slowly trembling at the back of her head. She wanted to fall back into whatever land she had come from...it was so much nicer there. She had a numb, tingling feeling still present in her mind, and she stiffly tried to move her body, but stopped immediately as the feeling of a hammer coming down on her head struck.

_Where am I...?_ she thought weakly, trying to sort through her thoughts. Her eyelids were still half-shut, and she saw the blurred color of cream. She felt like she should know where she was...and it seemed strangely familiar...

Pain erupted again, and she ceased to think.

Footsteps shuffled outside the tent...(_Wait, I'm in a tent..._ The thought suddenly entered Megumi's mind), and the flap made a horrifyingly loud noise as it whooshed open, then closed. Megumi vaguely wondered why things were so much louder, the noise crisp and painstakingly vibrating.

"_Ohayo_ Fox, it's about time you woke up," grumbled in a loud, deep voice.

"Owwww..." she muttered, and grabbed the sides of her head in a frail attempt to stop the world from spinning...

The voice laughed, but stopped as soon as it began, "Come on, you gotta at least try to sit up. Hopefully you still ain't drunk."

His hands began to draw towards here, probably to help her up, but she recoiled, and said sharply, "No, don't touch me." The hands withdrew, and she breathed a sad sigh of relief.

"Sit up, Megumi," the voice commanded, this time not as soothing; lethal.

"..." Megumi didn't say anything as she sighed again, and this time propped herself up on her arms, her back arched, half on the futon, half not. _Wait...who's futon am I in? And why am I here...Who is this? _

The thoughts that should have been, in the first place, reasonable to ask, were now popping into her mind, and she began to frantically attempt to take in her surroundings -- but immediately flinched as a boom exploded in her ears. The world still twirled, and the ground wasn't straight... She saw two heads instead of one...and her fingers refused to respond...her eyes wouldn't focus...

"Megumi! Fox, it's me, Sano! Stop panicking, would ya! I'm not gonna hurt you!" the voice said.

"Sano...?" the name left her lips...it sounded familiar.

Sanosuke rolled his eyes, "Jeez, Fox, you must've been drinking more than I originally give you credit for. Your eyes are so unfocused you can't even rely on your sight to tell ya where I'm sitting...or rather, standing."

Megumi's eyes finally pin-pointed the person in the room...or tent... Sure enough, Sanosuke stood, his brown, spiky hair contrasting against the cream walls of cloth, and his white-and-red-and-black uniform standing out amongst the cream. After a few seconds of struggling and fighting against the pain in her head, she was able to sit upright...or at least, relatively upright. A foul taste fought its way up her throat, and she gagged, trying her absolute best not to allow the taste to flood into her mouth.

Sano approached, this time with what seemed to be a glass in his hands, "Here..." he started, and stepped back in surprise as Megumi jumped slightly, "Hey, I ain't gonna hurt you...This drink'll help with the headache...and it should get rid of any alcohol that's still left in your body..." He shoved the glass in her fingers, and held her hands as he guided the glass to her mouth. He tipped the glass, and liquid poured into Megumi's mouth.

She coughed, and some of the concoction trickled down her chin -- the stuff was horrible.

"Drink it all," Sano urged sternly, and tipped the glass even higher as the remainder of the drink was forced down Megumi's throat. She swallowed the drink as well as whatever was fighting its way up her throat. Coughing some more, she retched as she, again, fought from throwing up what she had just swallowed.

Her head felt suddenly clearer, and although her memory was still hazy, she felt better.

"Thanks..." she mumbled, and slouched, "What...uh...happened?"

Sano looked surprised, "I thought you could tell me. You came sauntering into our camp drunk as hell, and slept in my tent...my futon, actually, and slept until now -- and presently, by the way, it's around afternoon. Dinner's comin' up soon."

Megumi's face was blank, Sano's sentence having made no sense, "What...?"

"How much did you drink!"

"Um...I can't remember...Nothing...uh...serious happened, right? I mean...I slept in your futon...but that's it?" Megumi's face suddenly blushed a deep red, and she turned her head away in embarrassment.

Sano gave her a look before snorting, "You must still be drunk." With that, he walked out of the tent.

* * *

Megumi stared stupidly at the tent flap, wondering what had just happened. The last occurring events were suddenly falling together, rushing at her in one tremendous wave.

She had gotten drunk...that part was right. (_Why was her mind suddenly so clear?_).

Somehow...she found her way to Sano's camp again...she didn't know how.

And...

Her train of logic stopped there. Perhaps she wasn't in the right state of mind...(_Well, of course, you can't be in a right state of mind when you're drunk..._). What was she doing here? Sano had said he never wanted to see her again, much less sleep in his futon...But she supposed he had no choice, as she showed up uninvited and unexpected...And now here she was.

Megumi had no idea what she was thinking, and wanted to flop back under the covers, and plummet into the dark sleep that would welcome her with open arms. But now that she was awake, that couldn't be done, and besides, she needed to thank Sano and get out of there as quickly as possible. She had a strange feeling that she was intruding in territory where she was not wanted. She should already be grateful for all the hospitality he was giving her.

She gathered herself, and nervously patted down her hair, taming the tangles and smoothing her blue kimono to its best. She stood up, and although she walked with wobbly legs and an unsteady head, she stepped out of the tent.

Immediately she regretted this act, as a sudden silence swept across the camp. Every soldier and ninja stared at Megumi's emerging figure. The flap closed noisily behind her, and she attempted a weak smile as she scanned the area for Sano.

She couldn't find him.

Despairingly, she walked through the camp, and unintentionally knocked into a man. She flinched at the touch, and stared up at him. He smiled down at her, but she could not figure out if the smile was meant to be welcoming or imply other things. Or maybe her mind was simply playing tricks on her.

"Um..." she stuttered, finally thinking that she would need some help, "Uh, do you happen to know where Sanosuke is?"

The man's eyebrows quirked, curious, "Ay, you would be wanting to see the Captain, now, is that so, missy?"

"Erm, yeah...would you please help me find him?"

"Sure thing, m'lady." He smiled again, and began to travel through the rows of tents that were aligned in an orderly fashion. Megumi prayed he wasn't tricking her in any way.

Her prayers were answered, and sure enough, Sano's back came into view, and the man grinned broadly as he brandished his arms, motioning her to go first. She mumbled a small "thanks" and stepped forward hesitantly.

"Erm...Sano?"

Sano whipped around and as he realized it was Megumi, he rolled his eyes, "You should be sleeping some more, you know that?"

"No...it's alright...I just found you to say that I'm real thankful you did everything that you did...and um...I'll be leaving now..." Megumi said weakly, "I mean...I know you didn't ever want to see me again..so uh...--"

"Forget about it," Sano said abruptly, "Just go back to my tent and sleep some more. That's the least you can do for me. Sleep. I'll go back to my tent to check on you later."

Megumi was taken aback by his response, and her face must have been blank, for Sano sighed in exasperation, "On second thought, I think I'd better lead you back to my tent."

* * *

Hours later, Megumi still sat in Sano's tent, munching on some fire-cooked fish that Sano had brought her. The fighter sat across from her, and she found it unnerving that he was staring at her while she ate. His gaze seemed hard and cold, while thoughtful and considerate at the same time. How this could be, Megumi knew not, and she did not comment on how uncomfortable she felt.

The charred edges of the fish's meat greeted her tongue as she savored the taste of actual, fresh food. She sighed thoughtfully, and finished the fish, licking the remnants from her lips.

Megumi did not know how to break the accustomed silence. "So...uh..."

"Feeling better?" Sano asked, holding out his hand to receive the leftovers that Megumi held. She nodded slowly, handing over the fragile fish bones.

Sano got up, and went outside, presumably to throw out the fish bones. When he returned, a thick fish bone was placed strategically between his teeth.

She did not know why, but the sight of Sano's old habit of chewing fish bones threw Megumi off, and she hurriedly regained her composure as she stared at nothing in particular, not sure what to say.

"You know why the Opium War's goin' on, right?" Sano's voice suddenly penetrated the crackling fires and buzz of silence. His question surprised her, and she thought carefully before replying in a low, hesitant voice,

"Well...opium had begun to be grown in India...and the East India Company began to ship opium into this very city, Canton...for Chinese goods...silver mostly...but...by 1836, it became illegal to traffic opium..." Megumi paused, and saw no change of expression in Sano's face, so she continued,

"Lin Tse-hsu fought to become Imperial Commissioner here at Canton, so he could stop opium trading altogether from Britain...but--"

"Do you know why the Opium War's going on right now?" Sano interrupted, the fish bone quivering between his teeth as he repeated his question, this time with more force that made Megumi stop speaking.

When Megumi did not respond, Sano answered, "It's because of China's foreign relations. Britain's got a problem with allowing the Chinese to handle their criminals in _China_. Of course, China refuses to give in. Only a year ago, Britain's begun to send warships...Opium's only an excuse to start a war that's not needed."

Megumi did not know how to answer Sano's sudden outburst.

"China's gettin' her butt kicked out there...their artillery and weapons are way out of date..."

"Sano..." Megumi started, not exactly sure where this was going, "What...why...?"

"It could've all been avoided..." Sano said quietly, "Tse-hsu asked for the impossible though...cut off all trade with Britain _and_ expel all the British?"

Megumi stared at Sano's now-hunched form, his head buried in his hands. She wondered what he had been through, what he had experienced, during the ten years after he left Tokyo. Where had his life taken him, and what path did he take? What choices did he make? She was so surprised to find, that although she had known him so well in Tokyo, and although she still cared for him, she now knew nothing about him.

* * *


	6. flashbacks

Author's Notes: Wow, it's been awhile, hasn't it? Well, considering I had a little internet crisis and then I looked over this chapter about three times trying to figure out if it was good enough...I must've rewritten sections two to three times... Agh, I still don't like it too much, but I figure it's as good as it's going to get... Thanks for hanging in there, guys. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and it is appropriately named "flashbacks" because we're going to get into the past now...everything in italics concerns the past... I hope you all enjoy it! Please don't forget to review and tell me how I'm doing!

I also apologize if the chapter is a little choppy...

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to me.

* * *

Notes To Readers:

_To Lara:_ Hehe, thanks so much for waiting this long! Sorry for the long wait... And thanks for all the reviews! Haha. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and please keep reading!

_To Crewel:_ Thanks so much! Yeah, I'm trying really hard to keep this fic informative...it's really hard dealing with the details because it's hard to know for sure what had happened without actually being there. Yeah, you don't really learn much about Chinese/Japanese/Korean history much in school, which is a bummer...most of the stuff I have here is from hours of internet research. But it's all interesting! (Or at least, I think). Anyways, thanks for the review and I hope you'll enjoy future chapters! I swear it's going to get better!

_To Mirune Keishiko:_ Haha, Sano's past is coming riiight up. And the Opium War? Haha, I certainly think that this fic is just going to get better... (hopefully...) Please keep reading, because I'm nowhere near done!

_To Everyone Else (haha, again, no one specific, just generally everyone else):_ Thank you so much for the reviews and please please please keep reading and reviewing!

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chap. 6 - flashbacks

Sano slowly lifted his head from his hands, and offered Megumi a small, weak smile. He sighed, and gazed at some faraway place before snapping back to reality, standing up to find Megumi staring back at him.

His voice returned to its usual clear, crisp tone. "You can sleep in my tent again. It's late, and I don't think you'd want to walk home when it's this dark out."

She swallowed a lump in her throat and nodded.

Sano walked to the edge of the tent, and lifted the flap halfway up, before pausing and turning his head to face her. His expression was grim, and his lips were a tight line drawn taut about his face as flickering firelight illuminated half of his countenance. His bangs fell into his black-brown eyes; his voice was hollow,

"Don't think just because you're getting all this hospitality that I forgive you for what you've done."

Shadows grew and shrank as an empty wind followed the tent flap back into place.

* * *

_His shadow followed him where ever he went, and he was contented with that. _At least I'll always have my shadow, _he thought, perhaps too optimistically. It was a sad thought, but it had already been three days since he left the Aoiya and Kenshin and the others behind...it had been three days, three nights, and already, his former life in Tokyo was now a dream... He couldn't go back._

_Megumi wouldn't want him back. She would hate him for leaving, then coming back; by turning back now, he was practically on his knees begging for her to accept him again._

_No, he would not go back._

_He would go to China, perhaps Canton. The mere thought of such a place sent shivers of excitement down his spine, and he forced himself to push away the memories of Japan. He had to leave them behind. He had left for good reasons._

_He reached a fork in the path, and contemplated which way to go. In all his hurry, he had not stopped once to ask for directions, or maybe even purchase a map. There wasn't even a sign to indicate which way would suit him best. _

_Sano sighed. He would just have to go by instinct._

_And for the next five years, Sano thrived on instinct, living by whatever he felt necessary, believing that he did not have to reach China in any hurry. Of course, the thought of the police chasing after his so called "criminal" record was enough to wake him up in the dead of night, his skin covered in cold sweat and his heart beating at an alarmingly rapid rate -- at those times, he could almost hear the guns attempting to break down a door to get to him...sometimes it took minutes for him to realize that it was a dream._

_Life was a dream._

_He just took boat after boat, knowing eventually he'd make it to Canton. He had this crazy idea -- that the one place where he belonged was there, Canton. Sometimes he ran into fights, often he ran into a money problem, but he managed to find his way around. He treaded his way through China -- through Beijing, through Shanghai...and finally making his way into Canton._

_The usual bustle of the city made his heart jump again, as it recently so often seemed to do. Smokestacks piled out of Westernized buildings, and the ashy smoke curled into the blue-grey sky. Buildings built with curved roofs Sanosuke could easily identify as those of Chinese ancestry. Tongues of every language fluttered about, melting into one giant exhilarating noise that swept over him in a tremendous wave. He inhaled and felt the scents of Canton rush into his mind, intoxicating every nerve in his body... _

_The thoughts of home and Megumi and Kenshin and his previous lifestyle had melted away. He rarely or never thought of his past, and there were times when he had to force himself to remember where he was from. This scared him, and it made him almost want to return home...to Japan...to Tokyo._

_But with Canton looming over him like a giant prize, he had to grasp it. _

_This city, Canton, to him, was the heart of China. In just the first five minutes he knew that the city was full of Chinese culture. But at the same time, cultures from every ethnic background also blended in, fitting in as if it were natural. Russia, Britain, America...every part of the world had scrambled here, it seemed, to catch the fever that had seared across the continent, across the world._

_He smiled...or rather, he came as close as he had ever had to a real smile. He had never really smiled since Japan._

_But Japan and Megumi were as far away in his mind as ever, and their names never once reverberated across his mind._

* * *

Sanosuke shook his head, and frowned thoughtfully as he shook himself out of his memory. Reminiscing over lost thoughts, he knew, was no good. But yet, the old image of his first sight of Canton was something he was never going to forget. That day was inscribed in him, and he would take it to his grave.

He stared about him, and suddenly remembered again that he was not in his normal tent. He had fashioned a much smaller one, and set it up at the borders of their camp. It had none of the luxuries of his original tent, and it was nowhere near the size of it, but he could do nothing of it.

Megumi was staying in his tent for the time being.

Sano grimaced. When he first set eyes on her again, in Canton, in that opium den, a shock electrocuted his entire body. It was as if a bullet pierced his heart, and it took him seconds to remember how to breathe. It had taken him ten years to forget her, and less than ten seconds to remember.

On top of that, his first sight of her in ten years was her being raped...or rather, she would have been raped if he had not gotten there at the right time. If he had walked in seconds after he originally had, she would've --. Sano cut off the thought, shivering.

He laid back, his arms behind his head, staring at the canvas of his miniscule tent, the color black from the cloudy night. Questions swam in his head.

Did he still care for Megumi? He still did not know the answer to this. There were times when he still cared, and a pang of loneliness crashed upon him. And at other times, he detested her -- not only because of her opium dealing.

He laughed sadly. He was going nowhere with his thoughts. It kept leading him back to where he started, and it made him wonder why he even bothered to trouble himself with it at all.

And the truth finally hit him.

But not before his mind drifted away into a misty world of troubled thoughts and dreams.

* * *

Sunlight cracked over the horizon, peeping around corners and shadows to stream rays of exceptionally bright light onto the world, signaling the warm beginning of another day. Horses tethered to poles neighed restlessly, stamping their hooves in plain agitation. A breeze blew quietly, ruffling the steady sway of the flames that heated a small pot of boiling water.

Sanosuke lifted the pot from the fire, carefully pouring the bubbling water into a delicate, cracked, ceramic cup. Finished filling a second one, he walked to his tent, wordlessly pulling the flap back to enter. Ripples shot across the green tea, brimming within the warm ceramic that warmed his hands.

Megumi sat at the low table in his tent, brushing through her long, black hair with her fingers, the expression on her face detached and thoughtful. Still without speaking, he made his way to the table, setting down the cup before her, careful not to disturb her.

She did not acknowledge his presence, but merely drew her eyes back to gently pick up the cup, letting the liquid melt into her lips and warm her insides. She closed her eyes, thoughts swirling about in her head. Why was she still here? She had long out-welcomed her stay, and was sure that she should leave. Part of her still wanted to remain and see it out to the end; she wanted to see what Sanosuke was really thinking...where he had been and what had happened. But somehow, she had an instinct that told her that it was never going to happen. That the inevitable was going to come, and that she should have already left long ago.

It seemed that Sanosuke was reading her mind, or perhaps he grew frustrated by the silence. Whichever the case, he could not take it anymore and stood up abruptly, shattering Megumi's troubled thoughts. He turned around, and his back faced her with a mocking glare. "You should go, Megumi. Don't you have thinks to do?" Sano's voice was laced with a bitter tone, and he said "things" like a vile curse.  
"Sanosuke..." she murmured softly, taken aback by his sudden change of heart. Honestly, she thought, where was all this coming from? He was like a saddened child, ambivalent and sporadic, unsure of his actions and unaware. Sano turned and looked her straight in the eye. She wished he wouldn't. "I --"

He glared at her, apparently concrete with his decision to throw her out. Somehow the rage that had always boiled in him had returned, and he couldn't stand it pounding in the back of his mind. Megumi paused before muttering sadly, "I -- I doubt there's anything that I can say that will set things right...I doubt there's a chance you'd be willing to listen...you know, to hear the entire truth. But...I guess I'll just leave."

She kept her expression straight, setting down the cup still half-filled with tea. She stood with as much grace and composure she could pull together, telling herself not to crack, moving towards the edge of the tent.

Her whispered words rang in his ears as it bounced off the cloth walls of the tent:

"I guess I came here for nothing."

Shadows grew and shrank at Sano's feet.

* * *

_The sun sank red in the horizon. Clouds shrouded the sun's rays, and the beams fell in alternate patterns, reflecting through glassy windows. Megumi wandered about in such a setting; she never remembered the Aoiya being such a large place. _

_It was a sort of meandering, really, but she continuously called a name through the empty halls, never pausing once for breath. Her voice came strong and loud, but no one responded. It just echoed off of the wooden boards and hollow air._

_"Miss Megumi?" A voice finally answered her call, and a red-headed man turned the corner to face Megumi. His eyes were a tired amethyst, but he smiled nonetheless. _

_"Ken-san!" she cried, "Have you seen Sano? I'm trying to find him, but he seems to have gotten lost...that stupid moron."_

_Kenshin's expression seemed to have changed all at once, he murmured a soft "oh," and he seemed to be fighting a frown. _

_"What's wrong Kenshin?" Megumi asked, aware of Kenshin's change of mood. "Nothing's happened to that rooster-head, has there?"_

_The red-head's lips formed a tight line across his face, and he seemed to be contemplating whether to tell her something. _

_"Kenshin! What's wrong?" Megumi questioned again, this time, with more force._

_"Miss Megumi..." Kenshin started slowly._

_"Just say it Kenshin!"_

_"Well...it seems that Sano is wanted as a criminal..."_

_Megumi's eyebrows quirked in confusion, "But he hasn't committed any crime...I mean, sure, he's a free-loader, but he can't have done anything serious. He isn't hiding out in a secret room in the Aoiya, is he?"_

_"No..."_

_"So where is he? I haven't seen him at all today."_

_"Miss Megumi...I don't really know how to tell you..." Kenshin's voice faded as he fought to attempt to explain to Megumi._

_Her eyes grew wide as the truth hit her. Her mouth opened aghast as she suddenly realized what Kenshin was trying to say. And she was almost screaming the words as she whirled around, and began to frantically run through the halls of the Aoiya. _

_"Sanosuke! Sanosuke, where are you! Get out here right now!" _

_Kenshin bowed his head, and felt the pain that was ripping through Megumi._

_"SANO!" Tears were now welling in her eyes. She didn't even try to fight the unstable emotions that were pulsing through her veins. She was quivering with anticipation; she half-expected Sano to burst through the halls, laughing and saying that it was all a big joke. _

_But somehow...Megumi knew. _

_Sano was gone._

_But Megumi didn't admit that to herself, she just kept running through the Aoiya. Kaoru popped her head into the hallway, and asked what was wrong, but was too surprised to run after the frantic Megumi. _

_Megumi suddenly found herself face-to-face with Kenshin again, and he made no move to try to mask the pain that suddenly wrenched at her heart. He wasn't about to tell her fairy tales and sugar-coated dreams that would take the pain away. Too often he dealt with pain, and too often he was the one being consoled. But not this time._

_She ran to him; she ran to the red-headed man and fell at his feet. She fell to her knees and hugged his ankles, burying her face into his white kimono. The white-hot tears dampened the cloth, chopped words leaving her smothered lips, "K-Kenshin...w-where'd he go...? A-and w-why?"_

_Kenshin made no motion to move from his position, and was hesitant to tell her where Sano may have gone, but the name of the place left his mouth nonetheless, "China."_

_Megumi sobbed harder, and her shoulders heaved violently as she continued to cry. _

_Kenshin's voice came ringing through her ears once again as he spoke, _

_"He said to tell you good-bye."_

* * *

Sano snorted and moved to organize his possessions in his tent. The futon lay messy and unorganized, and he straightened and folded the covers neatly.

Suddenly, the tent flap whisked open and Sanosuke was about to turn around in anger, thinking it was Megumi. Instead, he saw one of his men standing there, a sad smile on his face.

"What do you want Hoji?" His voice came rougher than he would have wanted.

"Sorry Captain Sagara, but I saw that you let that woman go." Hoji's face was apologetic, and he laughed nervously as he put his hand behind his head. He ruffled his own chestnut-brown hair out of habit, scratching at his head.

"You're speaking out of your league there, Hoji."

"Sorry Sir...Permission to speak freely?"

Sano sighed, and waved his hand in a half-hearted "yes" as he turned his back to organize rolls of papers on his small desk.

Hoji's face lit up, "Come on Sir, it's about time you found yourself a woman. You've looked a little lonesome ever since you came here to China, and I danno...guess you looked at least half-alive with that woman around."

"And I suppose you're an expert with women?"

Hoji chose to avoid the question with one of his own, "Did you know that woman before now? She's part of your past, ain't she?"

The rustle of paper stopped as Sano paused.

"Well, don't let her get away, Captain. That's all I wanted to say."

Sanosuke stood up and began to turn around, "Hoji, you wouldn't know shit about --" He stopped as he saw Hoji had not heard a word he said, as he had already left.

* * *

"Megumi!" Sano's voice boomed through the camp as he followed the trail his men had set him upon. Her back finally came into view, and he yelled her name again, this time louder.

"MEGUMI, DAMN IT!"

She turned around, and Sanosuke forgot to breathe as old pain pounded against his chest -- tears were streaming down Megumi's cheeks.

Megumi had half a mind to turn around and keep walking, away from everything here in China. She had half a mind to return to Japan, to Tokyo. But her half a mind was overridden with the fact that Sano had called out to her. But she kept herself in check as she muttered bitterly,

"What? I thought you wanted me gone."

Sano stopped in front of her, and almost said "yes." Instead, he looked at her drenched cheeks and asked sadly,

"Did it hurt?" He needed to know.

More tears ran down her cheeks before she responded, confused, "Did what hurt? W-what are you talking about?" If he was trying to mock her, she decided, she wouldn't hear any of it.

"When you first found out that I left Japan without telling you. Did it hurt? Did I cause you pain?"

The words hung uncomfortably in the air, and Megumi pursed her lips.

Her answer came soft and fragile,

"Yes."

Sanosuke laughed apologetically, holding out his hand, "Then we're even."

* * *


	7. broken

Author's Notes: First off, I apologize for the extremely long wait! I'm sorry! But secondly, I thank everyone who has reviewed. They've certainly helped me keep my spirits up when my writing had reached a low. Thank you!

Let's see... The flashbacks will continue along...as usual, they're in italics.

I really hope you guys didn't wait for nothing. I hope you all like this chapter, and of course, what's to come!

Disclaimer: Yet again, RK does not belong to me.

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Notes to Readers: 

_To roosterboy:_ Thank you very much for the detailed and well-thought reviews. They were very much appreciated. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter as well. As always, please keep reading...I'm hoping it'll just get better and better.

_To Lara: _Wow, I am flattered to have received so many! Thanks so much. I'm really sorry to keep you waiting! But I hope this chapter makes up for that. (We shall see what Sano means...ahahaha...) Haha, please enjoy!

_ToCrewel:_I feel kinda bad for makingyou sleepless! But anyways, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy this one!

_To EveryoneElse(must I say it again?):_ Ohwow. I am thoroughly thoroughly flattered by all the reviews. Every single last one of them. To me, it's not the number of reviews, but the contents of them, and might I say, I am speechless. No words can express my gratitude. All I can say is that I'm going todo the best I can, andI hope that you all will keep reading and keep up with the fic, becauseas long asI know at least one person is reading, that's all I need!...Oh, and all questions will be answered...in due time...

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chap. 7 - broken 

"It's not as easy as that, you know," Megumi said as she allowed herself to be led back to Sano's camp. A few stray tears still dripped from her eyes.

Sano's response came delayed, "Yes, I know. But it'll do for now."

Megumi didn't know what that meant, but kept walking behind Sano, preferring not to be touched. Suddenly a thought crossed her mind, and she abruptly halted to a stop. Sano, sensing that Megumi wasn't behind him, turned around as he stared at her, wondering what was going through her mind.

"I can't Sano..." Megumi whispered, "What use is there for me to go back with you to your camp? I'm just a burden. There's no reason for me to stay with you here."

There was a buzz that resounded in the silence, and Sano wished he knew what to say. He really didn't know why he was inviting Megumi back into camp, but somehow, he thought it might ease the pain that was tearing at his heart. An internal conflict still took place within him, but he had to find some way to move forward.

Sanosuke opened his mouth to speak, when suddenly a voice shattered the air first,

"Captain! We've got a problem!"

Sano's eyes closed, pulling his face into a troubled and conflicting expression. He closed his mouth wordlessly.

"Captain Sagara!"

He opened his eyes again and took Megumi's hands in his. She flinched at the touch.

"Listen Megumi. It's up to you. You can go home to where ever and do whatever. You live your life how ever you want to. But my offer still stands. I have to go now."

He dropped Megumi's hands, and took one last look at her as he ran off towards the source of the voice, to whatever problem had arisen.

Megumi stared off at his retreating back, wondering what she was going to do.

* * *

_It seemed that there were stains on her cheeks where, so often, tears ran amiss, streaming, pouring, dripping down her face in a river of salty tears. Her hair lay in tangles, and her clothes rumpled, wrinkled, crinkled where she had failed to take notice. She was a mess._

_Light always hit her skin, which was now white and pale, weak with the grief that pounded within her. _

_Megumi hadn't the heart to go on._

_Kaoru tried so hard so often to offer her condolences and words of comfort. But Megumi wouldn't listen..._

_Sanosuke was gone..._

_Kenshin said she needed time._

_Kaoru said she needed a friend._

_Yahiko said she was being stupid._

_But she heard none of it._

_Or maybe she had, because one morning, under the hard glare of the sun's rays, they found a scrawled note written in ink, the paper stained with tears. _

_Megumi had left..._

* * *

"He has a broken leg. Maybe a concussion and some fractured ribs."

Sanosuke jumped at the voice as he turned around to find Megumi standing right behind him. He was surprised for a split second before he half-smiled at her. He moved aside and allowed Megumi to move towards the injured man that had been carried in. He lay on an elevated futon in a small, ransack tent.

Megumi stepped forward, and allowed her dexterous hands to peel the blood-crusted cloth off of the man's leg. He moaned in pain.

Her voice came mechanical, almost monotonous, "Boil some water. I'm going to need something to be used as a splint, and sturdy bandages."

She turned her head, and faced the soldiers who had gathered, now staring open-mouthed at her.

Sano took action, "You heard her! Get the stuff!"

The men immediately scattered, running off to retrieve what Megumi had requested.

"So I take it this is the problem?" Megumi asked, beginning to clean the cuts on the man's leg. The broken bone would have to be set into place.

"Yeah." Sano did not elaborate, and Megumi did not ask him to.

One of Sano's uniformed men came soon after the supplies and tapped the Captain on the soldier, requesting to talk with him in private.

They left the medical tent in hushed voices. As quiet as their voices may have been, the two stood right outside the tent's entrance, and their conversation carried in on a quiet wind,

"We don't know how Giichi got to be like that, Captain. He's usually one of our best scouts, and can usually cover ground quickly without being spotted." The soldier's voice came in a barely-audible whisper.

"Have you been able to get anything out of him?" Sano asked.

"No Sir, he's half out of it. We're hoping that after he gets his bones reset and rests a bit that he'll be able to talk."

"Make it sooner than that."

"Yessir."

Megumi hurriedly set back to work, pretending not to have heard as Sanosuke made his way back into the tent.

"How is he?" he inquired, looking at Megumi.

"He'll be alright. He'll have to lay off his right leg for awhile after we put the bone back into place. That is...if the bone broke cleanly," Megumi commented crisply.

There was a pause, "Why'd you come back Megumi?" Sanosuke's voice came quiet and curious.

She laughed sadly and shrugged, "I don't know. Why did you invite me back?"

"I don't know. Why are you doing this?"

"I hate to see someone in pain. Why did you leave in the first place?"

"...What d'you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't."

Megumi sighed, "Why did you leave Kyoto before we returned to Tokyo? Why did you leave?"

"You mean why did I leave without telling you."

"No, I'm asking why you left."

"Listen, I know I should've told you --"

"You're avoiding the question." Megumi stopped her work for a split second and looked up at Sanosuke, a disappointed expression on her face. She exhaled tiredly, "Now's not the time. Help me reset this man's leg bone."

* * *

"Aren't ya tired, Fox?" Sano asked wearily; they had just finished treating Giichi's wounds and broken bones, and night had fallen. Megumi had deduced that the bones had been broken cleanly, and although Giichi's right leg may be centimeters shorter than his left, he would make a full recovery. After all that, if Megumi wasn't tired, then he was as tired as he thought she was. If that made any sense. "Huh, Fox? Ya gotta be."

Megumi turned to the sound of Sanosuke's voice, and nearly winced at the sound of her old nickname. Her eyes went unfocused, and her answer was at a small, almost pleading whisper, "Don't call me that."

"Sorry Fox, old habits die hard."

Fox Eyes sighed, "Of course I'm tired."

"Well, then, you're in luck."

"Oh? And how's that?"

Captain Sanosuke grinned widely, as if he'd just discovered the answer to the world's most difficult riddle, "We've got a hot spring nearby."

Megumi thought she had heard him wrong, "Yeah...sure..."

"We do!" Sano said dismally, then paused before adding, "I'll keep the men away from the spring. You go ahead and take a soak."

Megumi didn't know whether to trust him or not.

"Go on," he urged, "You're a mess anyways. If you don't go on your own, I'll drag you there and toss you in."

The black-haired woman felt the tight lines across her mouth loosen just-slightly as she responded, "Well, then, I guess you've left me no choice."

* * *

The dark trees shrouded and cloaked the opening where a steaming hot spring lay, open and inviting. Though there was a thick forest of trees, Megumi glared suspiciously around, as if she were expecting the gaze of a peeper, wide-eyed. Sano had directed her to the spring, and she was glad that he did not lead her to the spring. She preferred it this way.

Positive that there was no one else around, Megumi slipped off her clothes, and shivered slightly at the breezy night air. Pinning her long, wavy hair up in an elegant knot on top of her head, she lay her washing cloth and small washing tub on the rocks nearby.

The spring was spacious, and was practically calling her name as she sank into the hot water, sighing in satisfaction as the liquid washed over her bare, tense shoulders. The white steam curled to her face and flushed her cheeks a brilliant red.

She lay her head backwards as she let the soothing effect of the hot spring take over, her muscles relaxed, and for the first time in days, she felt peaceful. She stayed like this in that hot spring for quite awhile, content to floating there, immersed in such a relaxing position.

After a little bit, she reached over for her washing cloth to clean her body and scrub away the dirt and grime of the previous days. She soaked the rag in the hot water a bit, and wrung the water out. Smoothing the damp cloth across her shoulders, she sighed contentedly, but flinched as she reached a big, ugly black-and-blue bruise spread across her arms and upper back, nearly at her delicate shoulders.

Megumi paused, and stopped scrubbing at her body. She knew what had caused these bruises a long time ago, but had made no attempt to treat them. The bruises could have easily been gone in a couple of days, and they should have been gone by now. But Megumi made no move to make the physical wounds go away, in some perverse, deranged way, the pain left there from her rape reminded her of reality.

Over time, yes, the black-and-blue spots would disappear, and perhaps she would be alright. Physically. But inside her mind, mentally, she would never forget. The simplest whisper of touch from someone sent shivers up her spine. Of course, she told no one this. Who was there to tell? Sano? He'd laugh.

She didn't even know why he had invited her to stay at his camp. As she had told him repeatedly, she was no use to him or his troops. She was a frightened child among men. Maybe he invited her back out of sympathy? If so, it was a pitiful way to show sympathy, but regardless, Megumi guessed that was just Sanosuke's sad way of trying. Maybe because she was actually useful and she was just being used? She doubted this. Maybe she was here because Sano just plain cared. But this was the last thing that she thought would be apart of Sano's logic.

Just a night ago, he had told her that he did not forgive her. And not days before that, he had said that he had never wanted to see her again, much less speak with her. So what had brought about the change of mind, much less such a dramatic one? If she didn't know better, she'd say he was being ridiculously illogical and acted rashly based on strong emotions.

It was all just a bunch of "what if's" and questions...meaningless thoughts that would not be answered unless she asked them.

Megumi laughed sadly, and finished up her soak, drying herself off, and made her way slowly back to Sano's camp.

* * *

_A thunderous roar of a boat's horn pierced the sky, shattering the clouds and erupting ashes of thick, grey smoke. These wisps of dirty clouds drifted across the landscape of the busy and prosperous city of Canton. _

_Megumi had just stepped off of this boat, and onto the streets of _Guangzhou_, the known Chinese name of Canton. The feeling was overwhelming, this sense of being at the center of the rush, and she stood there for awhile, dumb-founded and full of questions. _

_By now, she had been at nearly every city of China, scouring the streets and questioning individuals who may know the whereabouts of Sanosuke. She had gone through Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong, and now, she had reached Canton. She had decided a long time ago that Sano would never waste time in a small city, but take his chances in a well-known and grand place. At the time, she didn't know how right she was._

_With the sun's rays beating down on her, she knew that her chances of finding Sano was slim to none, but she kept going. It had been nearly ten years, and she found no reason to stop. _

_Sighing, she went through the usual procedure of attempting to settle in the city. Shadows passed her feet, dotting her face and concealing her figure as she passed through a marketplace, the rings and calls of eager venders filling the air. She would find a place to stay for the night, rest up, and hopefully by morning find a place to work to keep up with the financial callings._

_However, as she passed through the streets, she stopped as a sign caught her eye. Written in elegant Chinese calligraphy, the black ink pronounced a worker was needed. Her gaze shifted as she found that the building was a medical clinic. Her first instinct was to find a place to stay first, then find work, but her judgment got the better of her as she walked through the swinging wooden door, a tiny bell tinkling above her as she entered. _

_The smell of burning incense and smoky ashes greeted her in one powerful wave. The fumes from the lighted candles produced smoky wisps that floated and curled to the roof, gathering there and creating an eerie effect of upside-down fog. Megumi coughed once, and lifted her hand to her mouth, _

_"Hello? Is anybody here?" Immediately, she clamped her mouth shut as she realized she had said the words in Japanese. Not expecting a response, she opened her mouth to call again, but she was cut off as an old, broken voice responded, _

_"My, my, I don't recall ever coming across a Japanese before." A shadowed figure came into view, and soon from the shadows came a hobbled old man, who wobbled on a crooked wooden cane. The old man's voice came in an equally fluent Japanese tongue._

_Megumi smiled nervously as she gestured to the sign that was hanging precariously from the building's dusty window, "So...you are offering a job?" This time, she spoke in Cantonese._

_"Yes indeed," came the man's response, still in Japanese. He paused for a moment, as if assessing Megumi before adding, "My dear child, there is no need to speak in a language that you are not comfortable with. Take pride in your ethnicity. I myself am part-Cantonese and part-Japanese, so there is no need to speak in your second language."_

_Megumi nodded slowly, not sure how to respond to this, "Erm...as for the job?" _

_The white hairs on the old man's head quivered as he shook his head, "Hasty, now are we?"_

_Megumi stayed silent._

_He smiled again and motioned for Megumi to follow him. She did so, and found herself waving away cloth flaps that hung from a doorway that led into a small room. The walls were lined with intricate ink paintings, but otherwise, lay simple and clean. He beckoned her to sit, and she did as he hobbled over to a corner of the room to fetch a steaming ceramic teapot. Setting it down on the low table, he slowly sat down across from Megumi, and poured the green tea into two cups. At the center of the mahogany table stood another incense candle, scented smoke drifting upwards. _

_The old man got himself situated before asking, "Well, now what experience do you possess?"_

_Megumi hesitated before speaking clearly, "My family has a history of prestigious doctors, and my medical background is quite thorough...I just arrived here at Canton, and I was hoping for a job having to do with medicine."_

_The old man smiled and laughed, "No, no, my dear, you must have misunderstood. What experience do you possess?" He grinned widely, and took a small pipe out of his sleeve. Placing the carved pipe on the table, he reached into his pockets again, this time coming out with a small packet. Eying Megumi in the most unreadable way, he gently opened the small paper triangle, unfolding the edges and revealing a fine, white powder. Still carrying the same expression, he carefully poured the powder into his pipe before lighting the mixture with a small, thin, lighted match._

_The black-haired woman sat confused and befuddled, not exactly sure what the old man was getting at. "Well...er...I can reset broken bones, mix medicinal herbs and powders...--"_

_The old man suddenly leaned forward, the table creaking beneath him. Megumi stopped speaking immediately, and had to strain her ears to hear the carefully whispered words leaving the man's mouth, _

_"My dear...can you mix opium or not?"_

_Megumi thought she had heard wrong, and that it was all a big joke. She gave the old man a strange look before answering slowly, almost stuttering,_

_"Do you mean...for medicine use?"_

_The man smiled, revealing missing teeth, as well as a gold one, "My dear, opium has been illegal since 1836...it has been three years since that day opium was banned from Canton's streets...but the devil's drug still exists...oh, yes, it still remains."_

_He paused, gazing at Megumi's still form; she dared not take a breath._

_"So...my dear, answer the question...can you produce opium for me or not? You will be paid in large sums...cash, of course." _

_A heavy silence filled the room, and Megumi found it suffocating. It was then that Megumi realized that the candle burning in the room was not burning incense, but opium._

_"I...I'm sorry," Megumi finally breathed, "I must have been mistaken...I am looking for a job as a doctor." Megumi stood to move to leave the room, but the old man's voice echoed behind her,_

_"My dear...you will never find a job here as a doctor...not while you remain here in Canton. Money is scarce, and to live, you are either used, a user, or an oblivious soul."_

_Megumi did not reply, and stepped forward._

_"What drives you forward, eager Fox?" _

_The question stopped Megumi dead in her tracks, not wanting to answer the question, but did anyway._

_"Someone."_

_The old man sighed, a huff of smoke leaving his lips as he exhaled the opium, "Well, then, I would take this job for that someone. Or your want to live may diminish soon. My dear, you have the ability to produce opium, I can see it in your eyes...in your motions..."_

_Megumi still did not turn around as the old man's voice vibrated across the room,_

_"My dear, because I hold you in such high regard, I will allow my offer to stand. Think about it. Perhaps you may scour for another job, chasing your ambition to serve in this city as a doctor...but after awhile, my guess is you will find it futile, and come crawling back to me, begging me to take you in. However, consider my generosity...if you utter a word of this place to another soul, like, let us say, an official...then you will find yourself robbed of much more than just your dreams."_

_Megumi paused, telling herself...reassuring herself, that she would find Sano another way. _

_She walked out of the room._

_Only weeks later, she walked back in._

* * *

"So Fox, how'd you know I was in Canton?"

Megumi lifted her head at the question, and stared blankly at Sanosuke, not sure what kind of answer he was searching for. She had just returned from the hot spring and once again, found herself inside Sano's large tent, still wondering how she wound up in the same place twice. Night had fallen, and crickets chirped rhythmically, adding melody to the flickering candlelight. She breathed deeply before responding,  
"I didn't."

Sano frowned, "C'mon, you didn't get this far without a tip-off or somethin'. You didn't go to the cops did'ya?"

Megumi gave him a strange look, "Sano, you ran away _because_ of the police."

"I didn't run away."

"Then what do you want to call it? Heroically fleeing?"

"Hah hah, very funny; I'm laughing."

Megumi sighed, saying seriously, "I'm not laughing, Sano. Kenshin told me that you had gone to China, and that's it. I guess I acted before thinking and ran off to China without asking Kenshin if he knew anything else. I realized too soon that China is a big country."

"Yeah, she sure is," this time Sanosuke smiled, "So what are the chances that we'd run into each other again?"

Megumi shrugged, "I guess there was always that possibility that I would never find you..." Megumi trailed off, suddenly conscious that she was saying too much. An uncomfortable silence hung in the tent, and neither wanted to tread into dangerous waters. Neither wanted to admit that they had once had a relationship far stronger than friendship. Neither wanted to admit what they were feeling at that very moment.

The brown-haired man grinned broadly, breaking the silence, "But I guess you found me."

Megumi nodded, "Sano...I want to know...and I know I keep asking...but... What did the police have pinned on you that made you walk out on us in Japan? Was it that terrible that it made you that scared --"

"I wasn't scared," Sano interjected. A strange look had overcome his face.

"But you left," Megumi countered, "What were you being blamed for?"

Sanosuke frowned deeply, the shadowed lines curving at the edges of his mouth, "I don't want to talk about it."

"But Sano --"

"Don't even mention it," Sano said monotonously. He got up abruptly, almost knocking over the candle in the process. The hot, melted wax dripped from the top as it swayed and hardened as it hit the ground.

"Sanosuke --"

"You can sleep in here again, obviously. Maybe we'll get you your own tent. That way I can get my own tent back," Sano said succinctly, apparently in a hurry to leave.

"Why are you running away?"

"I'm not."

The candle went out.

* * *

_Sanosuke sighed, and tilted his chair back a bit in a vague attempt to stretch out his back. The wooden counter before him was laden with several ceramic cups and bowls, dishes filled with a variety of exotic foods. But before Sano sat merely a cup steaming with warm _sake_. Downing another shot, Sanosuke sighed contentedly, and his mind wandered yet again, as it so often did since he arrived in Canton._

_He had found a comfortably almost-affordable inn he could rest at, complete with a bar and restaurant below the guest rooms. Sano actually had no idea how he was going to pay for everything, and the thought of getting a job sent shivers of unpleasant thoughts down his spine. Regardless, he would find a way._

_Sanosuke yawned, and shifted his elbows on the countertop, resting his chin in the palm of his upturned hand. Closing his eyes, he almost fell asleep, but was immediately interrupted by a loud, British voice,_

_"Well now, how are you doing, mister? You look awfully tired."_

_It took Sano a couple of moments before realizing the man was talking to him. The British man was rather stout and had a plump figure, but appeared to be in-shape. He dressed eloquently, and addressed Sano with a distinct, civilized voice, reasonably laced with a British accent._

_Sano replied in English, almost muttering the words, "Yeah, I'm pretty tired."_

_The British man looked behind him, as if expecting someone, before turning back to Sano, holding out a small white object between his thumb and forefinger, "Have a little bit of this here, mate. It'll soothe your nerves and everything."_

_Sano picked up his head from his palm, staring curiously at the smoking object in the man's hand. "What is that?"_

_"Nothing you should concern yourself with. All you need to know is that it soothes your soul. It's what everyone in China is doing."_

_It took Sano's brain less than five seconds to comprehend what was in the man's hand: opium. The spiky-haired man scowled and said in an almost-angry voice, "No thanks, that stuff'll kill me. I've heard too much of that drug, and I already know it's a waste of everything."  
The Britain's face turned smug before taking a drag himself, and muttering bitter words beneath his breath, "'Fraid you're behind on times, mate. You don't know what you're missing." He exhaled, and a white smoke trailed to the roof of the building._

_Sano laughed, "Sorry, I know exactly what I'm missing. Opium's a devil's drug that'll kill you. It's killed half of China."_

_"Now, now, no need to be bitter. I respect that you don't have anything to do with opium, mate, but there's no need to criticize what other people do for a living." The Britain's expression was almost-angry now, and a red, offended glare filled his eyes._

_Sano opened his mouth to argue, when suddenly a loud crack issued from behind him. He flung his head around, and his breath was caught in his throat as he saw two Chinese policemen standing in the doorway, their black shiny boots clicking on the wooden floor boards. Beside him, the Britain hastily extinguished his opium, and shoved the joint in his mouth, swallowing it in one tremendous gulp. _

_"Nobody move," one of the policemen said in a fast Cantonese tongue, "We have been informed that a wanted criminal is in the facility. Nobody is permitted to leave the area until our inspection is complete."_

_Sano gulped, sweat suddenly forming at his temples. His heart was racing, and he knew he had to somehow get out of the inn. Even if the police weren't specifically looking for him, he could be discovered, and everything would have gone to waste. He could lose much more than a few years in prison. _

_It was as if time had slowed, and everything was moving as if they were underwater. It took Sano seconds later to realize the policeman was walking up to him, and pointing at him._

_Words left the man's mouth, and Sanosuke heard them, solid and sentencing._

* * *


	8. emotions

Author's Notes: HOLY CRAP, I'm so sorry! What has it been, a month? I'm sorry! I usually do not take this long...but lately I've been having serious cases of writer's block and even if I wanted to write, I couldn't... Well, I hope this makes up for it, and I graciously thank everyone who's reviewed, they've definitely kept me up when I was down.

So surprisingly this ended up being a whopping eight pages and it took a whoppingfour times to get it down to where it is now. I still don't like it too much, but ehhh...screw it.

I wanna clear this up: Megumi WAS NOT raped...I just thought it got repetitive whenever I kept saying "attemptive rape." Haha, sorry for the misunderstanding, it was all completely my fault. Jeez, what was I thinking, confusing the readers.

Disclaimer: RK is not mine. Though this storyline is mine.

WARNING: ALRITEY! Things are going to get SOUR...this means a LEMON. This means SEX...so if you don't like it, don't read it! I don't want flames complaining about the content, because you HAVE BEEN WARNED. Enjoy.

* * *

_Notes To Readers:_

_To Crewel: _Thanks for those supportive e-mails. They really cheered me up when I couldn't write at all! Honestly. I hope I haven't let you down, and I hope you will continue to enjoy the fic. Thanks a lot!

_To Lara: _Again, thenumerous reviews were great appreciated. Thanks for hanging in, and I hopeI didn't make you wait too long. Every day that passed that I didn'tupdate I was like, "Uh oh, Lara's gonna kill me." haha...

_Tomeg-chan:_ Of course I was waiting for that right moment. I hope thischapter makes up for that kiss scene you were waiting for. Hehe.

_To Megumi: _Thank you! I am so flattered! Please keep reading and please keep enjoying! I hope I don't let you down!

_To sanodevil:_ Haha, no kiss. I was waiting for a more special occassion...

_To roosterboy: _I'm flattered that you think this fic's one of your favorite romances. Thanks a bunch. I hope I cleared up your confusion somewhere up there in my author's notes... I admit, it was my mistake. Well, I hope this chapter doesn't let you down.

_To shysie:_ I'M SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT!

_To FairyMage:_ AGH, you were right! I went back and looked through the chapter again, and I told myself, "AGH, IKNEW there were mistakes!" But being the idiot I am, I guess I didn't comb through it well enough. Thanks for pointing that out, I always love readers that point out my mistakes. As for the eloquently/elogantly thing, microsoft word completely screwed me over w/ that. Stupid thing. Haha, but hot springs make me happy too.

* * *

chap. 8 - emotions

Captain Sagara felt his eyes tear open as he left the boundaries of his dream. He still felt a cold sweat on his brow, and he still felt his heart beating frightfully fast, but he took a moment to remind himself that even if his dream had happened, it was exactly just that now: a memory. Dark shadows encased him, and he sighed tiredly and slowly, desperate to calm his nerves and think it through.

On that day, he, in fact, had not been caught, but had only been brought in for questioning regarding the suspect the police were tailing. The criminal they had been searching for was coincidentally the British man that he had been sitting next to at the bar. He had been wanted for using opium, as well as minor trading. The last Sano had heard, the Britain was sitting in a dark, dank cage, waiting for his turn for death.

Sano considered himself extremely lucky that they did not question his own personal history.

He shuddered, and sat up quickly. Perhaps too quickly, for his head began to spin dizzily. Steadying himself, he got up, and crawled out of the small side-tent that he had been sleeping in for the past two nights.

Having decided where to go, he breathed in the fresh air of the night, surrounded by the faraway city lights that twinkled contrastingly against the blue-black of the sky. The night air was sweet and soft, and high above, a full moon lit a glow upon him, lighting his way. A breeze ruffled the trees' leaves, and made Sano quicken his footsteps as he headed down silent rows of tents to the one he formerly called his own.

The large flaps greeted him, almost looming over him as he paused, unsure of his decision and not certain of what he was doing. But regardless, Sanosuke sighed one last time before entering the caverns of his tent. He had never known the inner part of his tent was so big; he had always regarded it as relatively small, but now, the inside stretched out before him, expanding and revealing the desk, the futon, and the shelves that orderly stood to the side.

Immediately, the sleeping form of Megumi caught his eye; the unsteady rise and fall of her chest beneath the futon's covers signaled that she, in fact, was not asleep. She breathed a couple more times, perhaps to convince him that she _was_ asleep, but this trick did not fool Sano as he continued to stand there.

Her head turned ever-so-slightly, and her eyes glinted in the moonlight that leaked in through the crack between the tent's flaps. Her voice came in a small whisper, husky and almost inaudible,

"What's wrong?"

He could have smiled, but didn't as he returned her question, "Nothing." He took a step further into his tent, "Just a bad dream."

Megumi remained lying down, and didn't move from her position, "A bad dream...or a bad memory?"

Sanosuke exhaled. How could she have guessed so quickly?

"Yeah...a bad memory, then."

"Want to talk about it?" Megumi finally moved, lifting her slender figure from under the covers. She was still dressed in her day kimono, now hanging loosely around her shoulders, having turned down Sano's offer of lending her some night clothes.

Sanosuke didn't reply immediately as he sat down a good two feet from Megumi, still perturbed from his dream...memory. He finally found a voice to reply,

"Not really."

She tilted her head slightly, "Then why'd you come down here?"

"I guess I was lonely."

Megumi smiled sadly, "I know how that feels."

Silence.

His voiced jarred their thoughts, "I'm sorry about earlier...I don't think I handled it too well when you asked why I left Japan..." His voice trailed, having lost the words he wanted to say.

She shook her head, "No...it's alright, I guess. You don't have to tell me."

"I will, though. Eventually."

She nodded.

Crickets chirped in the background.

Sano let out a small laugh, "Since when have we been on such nice terms? It's strange."

"That's one way to put it."

Sanosuke struggled to find the next words to say, "So...what made you want to come out all the way to China to look for me?"

Megumi turned her head and looked Sano straight in the eye, "Isn't that what you would've done?"

"Yeah...I probably would've gone even further if I didn't find you in China. I would've gone anywhere." Sano had no control over the words that left his mouth. The heavy night air surrounded him in a thick blanket, and seemed to intoxicate him, the drunken feeling setting in and allowing a sudden pang of loneliness to hit him, an empty feeling that seemed to take over as he sat there next to Megumi. Shivers ran down his spine, emotions running tremulous in his body.

"You probably would have done anything too..." Megumi whispered quietly, "Like me." A strained pain was laced with her voice.

It hurt him so much to see her sitting there, wracked with pain and thoughts and fears that he could not begin to fathom. His hatred towards her began to melt away, and in its place, he couldn't quite decide what he felt. At that moment, he was utterly and completely confused, lost like a child in a giant maze. But the thought of her hurting eased his steely conscience, and the strangest feeling of want shot up his spine.

He wasn't sure if he had moved, but when he became aware of it, he found himself closer to Megumi than he originally remembered.

"I guess there's nothing that can be done now," he said softly. The words poured sweetly out of his mouth without thought.

"Didn't you say you haven't forgiven me?" Megumi asked, her face muffled in the shadows, but her expression all-too-clear. She did not know what Sanosuke was thinking at that very moment, and was perturbed in the slightest bit at his change of heart, but he was so close...

"I don't know what I'm thinking..." he breathed, "I'm all mixed up inside."

His position shifted, and he felt the covers rustling beneath his fingers. Somehow his face was just inches from hers, her eyes glistening with either tears or moonlight...or both, Sano couldn't tell... He kept that distance, holding it there, a breath away from her face. His right hand reached up, and he traced the curves of her face with his fingers without touching her, almost teasingly the same distance away as his face. He gazed at her, not just with his eyes, but with all of his senses. He could hear his heart beat within his chest, and he was sure that if he paused for the slightest moment, he could hear hers.

Alas his fingers slowly came to rest upon her hair, lightly at first. He twirled the strands between his fingers, Megumi watching him curiously all the while. He gently turned her head towards his, and slowly, slowly, lightly: he brought his lips upon hers.

She was warm beneath his touch, and they held there for awhile, neither moving -- not their lips, not their bodies. His right hand moved from the side of her face to the back, settling above the crook of her neck. Breathing in her scent, he pulled her closer with his hand behind her head, pushing their lips even closer together.

Finally, life sparked between them. Sanosuke found himself wanting more as he deepened the kiss, leaning his weight slowly into it, drinking in every bit of her.

Almost hesitantly, they broke for air, and Megumi stared back at him with big, black eyes, wondering and certainly confused. But she cast aside those thoughts as easily they had come, and her swollen lips smiled as she led herself to him. Megumi dared not breathe, not wanting a moment to pass without her knowing it... Carefully, her lips smiled and parted beneath his, and admitted him to explore the caverns of her warm, smooth lips with his tongue.

She breathed him in, tasting the warm _sake_ and strangely, sweet lychee, a fruit that Megumi never knew Sano cared to eat -- but nonetheless, it soothed and comforted her.

Slowly they pulled back, but quickly kissed again. Sano still had his right hand behind her head, and subconsciously, she could feel herself leaning backwards as Sano slowly guided her onto the futon, still kissing all the way. She found herself on her back...with Sano on top of her, propping his elbows up on either side of her, supporting his weight. She could feel the warmth from his skin emanating from his body, washing over her. Their kiss broke and he guided his lips towards the side of her ear, gently kissing the soft skin...his lean muscles rippled under his bare chest, and Megumi could not remember him ever taking off his _gi..._

She felt her face flush furiously, and in the back of her mind, she was grateful for the darkness of the tent. Her mind had shut down almost completely, and her body moved on its own accord. She could feel Sano's lips move teasingly from her ear back to her lips again, and she felt his warm skin brush against her.

She shuddered beneath him.

His lips moved from hers to her neck, lowering to kiss the crook between her shoulder and chin. She felt his weight on her, heavy, but not suffocating. She felt his soft, brown hair tickle her face and breathed steady, warm breaths. Involuntarily, her head arched backwards as he kissed her collarbone, gently nudging aside her _kimono_ that held her delicate shoulders captive.

Lifting himself up slightly, he reached out with his hands, his nimble fingers at the knots of her _kimono._ The thick, dark threads loosened beneath his touch, slowly threading, becoming undone. One knot...then another...

Conscious of Sanosuke's fingers at her _kimono_, Megumi's mind suddenly focused. The drunken state of lust that she had been driven into dissolved in one quick moment, and terrifying images of a man tearing at her _kimono _flooded her mind's eye. The old pain at her shoulder pounded, as if reminding her, warning her. Her hand reached out to stop Sano's, forcing his hand away.

Abruptly, she sat straight up, sending a bewildered Sano tumbling to his side next to her.

"Please..." she whispered pleadingly, "Stop..." If possible, her face was flushed a deeper red. Pools of sadness and pain were washed, mingled, and present in her eyes, swirling in a glassy mist.

Sanosuke remained where he was -- lying on his side next to her. He gazed at her, and attempted to look into her eyes, but she would not look at his. He leaned forward, finding her gaze and locking it, "It's because of Hiroshi...isn't it?" Megumi flinched at the name of her attacker, and began to recoil, pushing herself backwards away from Sanosuke.

He propped himself up, and carefully moved towards Megumi. He balanced himself with his hands and leaned his head closer to Megumi's, his lips hovering delicately over hers. She froze, unsure of whether to move or not.

"Are you scared of me?" he whispered into her lips. She felt his lips sensually brush hers. Every nerve in her body set afire.

Sano still did not move, with the exception of his lips breathing words into hers, "You don't have to be...I'm not Hiroshi...I never will be him, and I swear I won't hurt you... I don't want you to run away from me again..." He stared into her fearful eyes, and soothingly, he leaned in as they kissed again. She was stiff beneath his lips, but his hands lifted to either side of her face, cupping her soft cheeks into his palms, and she hesitantly began to answer.

She lay onto her back once more, this time, of her own accord, and allowed Sano's fingers to slowly work with the knots again, Megumi's grip gently loosening all the way. Three more...two more...one... Her hand fell away...

The blue silk beneath slid easily between his fingers, and the smooth, fine cloth fell away as he unwrapped the _kimono_ from her, teasingly unraveling her inner _kimono_ slower than the first. The cloth lay beneath her and beside her, her body unwrapped like a delicacy. Puckered flesh greeted him as he relished the sight, feeling himself harden painfully...

He leaned in, enveloping himself in her warm, sweet aroma. To him, she smelled of spring, and the gardens filled with bright, blooming flowers. To him, she smelled of the fresh dew on the emerald tips of leaves. To him, he could only see her.

Goosebumps traveled down Megumi's arms and spine -- she breathed fast, and he let his lips lay on hers, whispering repeatedly, "Don't worry...I won't hurt you..." the feel of skin-on-skin sent shivers up _his_ spine, and he slowly made his way downwards as he left a trail of wet kisses.

He hesitated over her bare breasts, and one of his fingers slowly reached up, pausing above the peak before gently allowing the tip of his finger to fall, feeling her hot skin beneath him.

He gently pulled up and leveled his face with hers. First he kissed each of her closed eyes, each of her cheeks, her lips, pausing longer there, and her neck. He lay on top of her, the curves of her body pushed against his white-hot skin.

He worked downwards, and finally, his lips found her sensitive nipple -- she gasped beneath him, surprised at the new sensation. She purred as he kissed at it, and used his wet tongue to madly curl about the peak, the nub hardening, contracting beneath his tongue. Using his teeth, he gently nipped at it, and heard Megumi gasp sharply. He lifted his lips and blew gently on it, kissing it lightly in apology. Megumi inhaled, moaning, almost squirming beneath him.

Gently, he unwrapped the rest of her _kimono_, revealing her delicate figure. Casting the cloth aside, something caught the corner of his eye, but he disregarded it as he turned his attention towards Megumi. She lay before him, unraveled and beautiful in his eyes. Her black, silk hair lay behind her head in a halo, framing her flushed face and cascading in waterfalls. By now his erection pounded painfully, and he struggled out of his clothes, tossing them to the side of the futon.

"You're beautiful," he murmured in awe, gazing lovingly at her exposed figure.

He lay on top of her, and they kissed. Nothing separated them now...the thin layers of cloth were gone...he traced her stomach with his callused fingers, teasing and playing with her, getting dangerously close...

She whimpered, eager, "Sano..."

He smiled playfully, his voice husky, "Now, now, don't get greedy, Fox..." He gazed down at her figure, controlling himself...there were so many things he wanted to do...so much pleasure he wanted to give her at once.

Slowly, he lifted his hand and cupped her cheek in his palm, gently caressing her smooth, white skin. Breathing small breaths, his hand left her face as he trailed down, his fingers finding every delve of her neck and every arc of her breasts. His hand dipped as he reached her stomach, and rose when he lingered over her thigh. He lovingly placed two wet, well-thought kisses on each of her upper legs, blowing gently afterwards. Megumi sighed shallow breaths as he did all this, making what she wanted clearly obvious...

He kissed her one more time, his moist tongue finding hers. He lifted his head towards her left ear, whispering the words, "I'll stop if it hurts...Just stop me..."

She nodded quickly, and moaned as he straddled her hips, gently nudging her legs apart. Brow furrowed in concentration, Sanosuke gently led himself into her...

Megumi let out a small gasp, biting her lips as tears formed in her eyes. He immediately pulled back as he whispered in a scared voice, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'll stop..."

"No..." Megumi's reaction surprised him as she pulled him to her. "Please...don't stop..."

Sano stared back at her, "Are you sure?"

She nodded, and he hesitantly pulled closer to her, kissing at a nipple to distract her pain. She moaned, and Sano quickly took the initiative as he pushed himself into her once again...

She inhaled sharply as he entered, "Sano...keep going..."

He pushed harder, and her breath came ragged as he continued to rock, the heat growing. Her eyelids were heavy-lidded; her eyes closed as she felt his love tear through her. The feeling of pain and pleasure mixed into one sent a flurry of emotions flooding into her mind -- she had never known she was this empty...

She bit down on her lips, feeling tears well at the edges of her eyes, but never falling over.

The feeling escaladed, climaxing so much that it became almost unbearable...she never wanted it to stop...

And finally, Sano let out one last breath before collapsing onto her, holding his weight with his arms so he wouldn't crush her. He smiled down on her, breathing just as fast as her. Gradually, her breathing slowed, and she pulled Sano to lay next to her.

She kissed him one last time, and felt completely wiped -- a wave of drowsiness crashed down upon her, and her eyelids suddenly felt heavy.

"Sano..." she murmured softly.

"Yes?" he replied, pulling her closer to him.

"Do you...love me...?" she yawned, "Because...I love you..."

Sanosuke paused, not sure how to answer. But before he could open his mouth to reply, she lay limp in his arms, finally asleep -- truly asleep after so many years.

He sighed contentedly, and brushed stray strands of hair from her angelic face, pulling her body into his arms.

In the background, something rustled outside, and the noise of the night swept over them, encompassing them in the black blanket of the twilight. They were encased in a world of their own, tightly packed into a fragile package.

Immersed in the oceans of silk and dreams, they lay there together all night, finally as one.

* * *


	9. threats

Author's Notes: Hullo again! Well, I have tried not to be gone for too long, so here I am. Okay, things are going to get turned up a notch, and the actual plot will begin to unfold! (Up to this point I've only been playing around with everyone's emotions! Haha...). It may seem like a filler chapter, but keep the details in mind!

The flashback in this chapter is a result of my writer's block and an attempt to get things moving for me...I hope it doesn't seem too random.

MANY, MANY thanks go out to Crewel, Zionne, Shysie, Lara, lucerito-del-alma, roosterboy, and fox-san for returning and reviewing.

To all my shadow readers (those whose existance I don't know about), thank you for reading this far.

And to everyone, if you find it best, please honor me with a review. I'd like to know how I've been doing thus far.

Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to me.

* * *

chap. 9 - threats

"Yo, Captain!"

Sanosuke jerked awake, the white sheets of the futon falling from his chest and landing in pools of cloth in his lap as he sat up. It took him a moment to register where he was and...

"Captain! You in there?"

Sano froze. The sleeping figure beside him sighed tiredly while making a face, reaching out to find the lost warmth that had once lain beside her. The sight of her bare back and absence of clothes drove the memory of the night before into his mind, and he made a face, cursing absentmindedly,

"_K'so..._" His eyebrows quirked, struggling to answer the man that was standing right outside his tent, "U-uh, yeah, I'm in here."

The man's shadow shifted, "Sir, Giichi's finally woken up and given us some information. We thought you'd like to come out and speak with him."

Sanosuke swore under his breath again before responding, "Er, yeah! Great, um, I'll be out in a moment, so, uh, go on ahead, I'll be there in a second."

"Yessir."

Sanosuke waited until the man's shadow completely disappeared from the tent's canvas before frantically standing up and finding his discarded clothes. A long string of Japanese curses left his mouth in a whisper as he realized he only had his sleeping _gi_. He would somehow have to make up an excuse as to why he was wearing his sleeping clothes and not the uniform... His brain was completely overloaded as he decided that he "supposedly" had to pick up something in his tent that morning and had fallen asleep at his desk... Yeah, sure...that would work... Maybe if he was lucky, no one would notice. Sano snorted at this.

He reached for his _gi_, revealing that something had fallen beneath it. His eyes widened at the object, a wave of strong emotions flooding his mind. He moved to pick it up, then made a face, suddenly hearing approaching footsteps, and gathered himself to be prepared to leave. The footsteps passed, and he sighed, hurriedly picking the object off the ground and hastily stuffing it in the inner pockets of his _gi_.

He finally got himself dressed and stared back at Megumi's sleeping form, her eyelids still closed contentedly. His heart skipped a beat as he realized he now had to deal with what had happened the night before. And hopefully one of his men wouldn't walk into his tent and discover her there.

He shook his head dismally as he gathered himself, steadying his face to make it seem that nothing was wrong...that everything was perfect.

He made his way to the entrance of his tent, breathing one last deep breath before opening the flap as little as he could, so as his men would not have the opportunity to accidentally catch a glance what lay asleep inside. He tightly knotted the twine to the flaps and slowly made his way towards the medical tent where Giichi was being kept.

The sun glared at him when he exited into the fresh air, and he squinted in response, pulling his arms up to block the blinding rays. The morning air was fresh, and Sanosuke kept in mind his task as the dirtied cream tent came into view.

Either his men did not notice that he was still wearing his sleeping clothes, or they did not find it odd -- either way, Sano felt lucky for this. He shoved aside the flaps, and walked in, two other men standing besides the conscious Giichi.

He faked a yawn -- which would hopefully add to his supposed "just-got-out-of-bed" composure -- and shoved his hands in his pants' pockets, shifting to a relaxed position. His face grew serious as he faced the men in the room,

"Is he awake?"

"Yessir."

Sanosuke rolled his eyes; either Giichi was being highly overdramatic or he just liked the attention, "Giichi." His voice came short and to-the-point.

There was a pause before Giichi replied, his voice coming slow, "Sir...?"

Sano snorted, "Quit being so dramatic. Just tell us what happened."

Giichi sighed, apparently disappointed, before speaking, "Well Captain, I went out to scout that boat right off the docks of the Pearl River, just like you requested."

Captain Sagara nodded, motioning him to go on.

"And then, I don't know...I guess someone must've known I was coming or...I was caught, but that isn't very likely. Not to brag or anything, Sir, but I'm not one to be easily caught by a bunch of opium bastards..."

Sano let Giichi continue to mutter pointlessly before saying, "Giichi, get to the point."

"Sir. Well, as soon as I had reached the docks, I spotted a group of cops...Now, this wouldn't have been anything new, but they were muttering among themselves, and I heard one of them say, 'There, that's him; that's the guy we're supposed to be looking for.' Well, geez, they were pointing right at me, and there wasn't anyone standing next to me, so I figured they were obviously talking about me." Giichi sighed, "So then, I told myself not to panic -- that's the last thing a fighter's supposed to do -- so I calmly decided to split. No offense Captain, but that's probably what you would've done."

Sano nodded, "And how'd you get all those injuries?"

Giichi made a face, "I'm getting there. Anyways, I'm walking away at a decent pace -- not too slow, not too fast -- when suddenly the sonsuvbitches took out their guns and started shooting at me."

"Why?" Sano couldn't help but ask; the question left his mouth before he could control himself.

Giichi scowled, "How am I supposed to know, Sir? Like I said, somehow they must've been tipped off."

Sano sighed; he had many other questions, but he decided they would have to wait until after the rest of Giichi's story. He breathed deeply, "Go on."

Giichi made an exasperated face, "I didn't want to make a scene -- that would only draw attention to me. So, I ran."

"Oh, that must've been real discreet..._surely_ no one must've noticed."

"Actually they did," Giichi remarked, clearly unaware of the sarcasm in Sano's voice, "it was either that or fight back, and I don't want my head on the line for killing government officials."

"Fair point," a man on Sano's right remarked. Either man on Sano's side had not spoken throughout the entire story, and Sano jumped slightly at their voices, remembering that they were present.

Composing himself, Sano rolled his eyes, "Go on; we don't have all day."

"Well either those cop-bastards have great aim or great luck. Turns out the wooden boards of the boardwalk beneath me were weak. It's embarrassing to stay, but the thing collapsed beneath me and it was either fall into the great pit of shadows and splintered boards or jump into the storm of bullets that clearly had the potential of hitting me. Unfortunately, just 'cause I have horrible luck, there were rocks underneath, and I didn't have time to land in a good position. So my leg hit the damn boulders first, and 'crack'..." Giichi sighed,

"I think I might've gone unconscious at that point. I don't really remember. But when I woke up next, I was laying there, with water spraying in my face. I guess the cops assumed I was either dead or had been drowned. Either way, I got up and hobbled back here." Giichi shrugged, "That's 'bout it."

Sanosuke exhaled the breath he was holding for quite awhile. He muttered something before speaking,

"Well, Giichi, you'll be happy to know that you'll live, 'cept your scouting days may be over, unless you work over the fact that your right leg is now shorter than your left. However, despite your injuries, I think the more pressing matter is as to why the cops are after you."

"Sir," the man to Sano's right spoke up.

Sanosuke turned, his head cocked to one side, "Yes, Meng?"

"If you don't mind me saying, Captain -- I don't think the cops are after Giichi."

"Then why did they go after him?" Sano countered.

"Well...maybe the government isn't after Giichi specifically...but maybe they're after what he stands for."

"Which is?"

"Sir, with all due respect... I think they're after us."

* * *

_Sano draped his arm loosely around Megumi's shoulders, smiling broadly as they walked down the river's shore. Sweet curves rippled across the glistening water, revealing tiny pebbles piled beneath the surface. Wisps of clouds drifted across the vast canvas of the sky, and a breeze blew lightly in their faces._

_Megumi made no move to shrug his arm off, and he was inwardly delighted at this. They continued along the river's edge, silent in a contented way._

_She gently moved from his grasp and stood near the blue water, carefully tugging at her _kimono_ to lift the cloth just below her knees. She smiled at him and stepped into the cool liquid, letting the water melt over her toes. _

_He smirked playfully and followed her in without hesitation. He stood next to her and gazed back at her, his look asking What now?_

_Her voice broke the euphonic silence, "It's nice to get away." She spoke softly and calmly, thoroughly enjoying the relaxing environment._

_Sanosuke nodded, then broke into a small curve of a smile, "Yeah, it's nice that everyone isn't around to gape at us while I do this..." He closed his eyes and leaned into her, capturing her warm lips in his with whisper-soft breaths. _

_She kept her eyes closed as he pulled away, her eyelashes curving delicately upwards as she half-opened her gaze at him. "You kissed better a week ago," she remarked jokingly._

_He scowled half-heartedly, "I'd only kiss better if you'd stop flirting with Kenshin."_

_She laughed, "It's only fun to watch Kaoru squirm...Why? Don't tell me you're jealous?" She teased without mercy._

_He coughed loudly, "Of course not."_

_She stifled a laugh and pulled out of the water, splashing Sano in the slightest bit as she proceeded to walk down the path once more. He sighed in mock-annoyance and followed her._

_"I remember my first glance of you," Sano commented, kicking up grass as he walked, "You ran for Kenshin first."_

_"Only because he looked stronger," Megumi joked in response._

_Sanosuke rolled his eyes, "But I stopped you from killing yourself. That knife hurt, you know."_

_Megumi stopped walking and turned to Sano, her expression pulled into a serious face, "Producing opium for Kanryu hurt, too."_

_He stared at her in disbelief, "You just had to go and kill the mood!" _

_She half-smiled, "Sorry...but in all honesty, opium's something I never want to be involved with again." A breeze gusted, carrying an emerald leaf on its current, entangling it in the strands of Megumi's hair._

_Sanosuke exhaled, pulling the leaf out of her hair by the stem, "That's the past now. I doubt our future will contain that drug." He let the leaf go, feeling the leathery texture caress the tips of his fingers as it fluttered on the soft breeze._

_She smiled at his encouraging words, watching the leaf disappear before turning to face him, "Do you hate me for making opium for Kanryu?"_

_He kissed her swiftly on the lips in response before whispering, "I couldn't hate you for making opium."_

_In much, much later years, when the troubled times of China and the Opium War washed over them, they never realized the irony of their conversation._

* * *

Megumi inhaled peacefully, pulling the sheets closer to her body. Her eyelids fluttered, her body fighting with consciousness and sleep. Surrendering to the conscious world, her eyes opened at last, immediately squinting at the surprisingly bright light that managed to filter through the heavy canvas of the tent. She sleepily moved to pull her_ kimono _closer to her when her hand grasped at thin air -- suddenly she remembered that she wasn't wearing a _kimono_. In fact, she wasn't wearing anything at all.

Why it took her mind this long to remember what had occurred last night, she knew not. But it came crashing back to her, and she lay there for a little longer, attempting to pull herself together and to absorb current events.

Why what had happened, happened, she didn't know... At that very moment, she was filled with confusion. Sanosuke was definitely someone who was not easily read. Megumi originally thought he didn't want to ever see her again...then he invited her back when she rudely appeared...continuously told her he didn't forgive her...and now... She shook her head, her mind spinning in many directions. Megumi sighed; she guessed that now he accepted her...based on what had happened last night, he _had_ to have accepted her for what she had done...

She exhaled, thoroughly and utterly confused. But no matter what she was thinking, she decided, she would have to get dressed. The sheets of the futon fell from her bare body as she stood up, and moved to retrieve her _kimono_ now laying a few feet from the futon.

She was just reaching for her discarded clothing when the flap of the tent moved. She let out a small and unintended squeak, and frantically attempted to think of what to do. She hastily attempted to stuff herself into the tight _kimono_, and was half-dressed when Sanosuke walked through the flaps, giving her a second glance before making his way over to his small desk.

She sighed, glad it was Sano and not one of his men. She finished dressing and sat on a nearby cushion, watching Sanosuke flip through papers on his desk. Apparently something had come up, and she decided it was best to leave him be.

At his desk, Sanosuke mouthed silent words to himself, not wanting, at that moment, to be in the same room as Megumi. But he was, and he pretended to have some urgent business to attend to at his desk, writing out unwritten and forgotten records that should have been recorded months ago. But yet even if there was no present, important business that sat before him at his desk, the same conversation kept playing through his mind, over and over again:

_"Well...maybe the government isn't after Giichi specifically...but maybe they're after what he stands for."_

_"Which is?"_

_"Sir, with all due respect... I think they're after us."_

_"Why would the government be after us? We're helping them out. We're helping them fight the Opium War."_

_"I don't know why they would, Sir, but the tables are turned. Apparently now we're a threat."_

* * *


	10. the devil's drug

Author's Notes: No words can explain how sorry I am that it has taken me this long to update...I apologize sincerely. Things have been thrown at me without mercy and I have been unable to obtain a workable computer with good internet so I could update, so now here I am, sitting in the library FINALLY updating. I'm so sorry!

Well, to those who have been waiting, thanks for being so patient...truly, I did not plan on a huge gap between this chapter and the last. I didn't intentionally leave you guys!

And I never will...

So please enjoy this longer-than-usual chapter and please give me your feedback...and I hope you all haven't forgotten me yet...

Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

chap. 10 - the devil's drug

_"A threat?" Sano repeated dumbly._

_Meng nodded, pulling at his long, black hair tied back behind his head, "Or maybe the government's just reading our actions wrong."_

_"I don't think it has gotten as deep as the government," Sanosuke said, apparently unconvinced, "Maybe Giichi's just wanted for some small criminal acts."_

_"I didn't do nothing!" Giichi countered defensively._

_"Well, in either case, it can't have gotten that deep."_

_"Or maybe it has," Meng said, "I think we're at risk, Sir. It probably will not be long until they find us here."_

_"And what makes you so confident that we've done something wrong?" Sanosuke asked, suddenly angered at the thought of the government after him and his army. _

_"I never said we've done anything wrong," Meng stated calmly, "I'm just saying... Maybe we're trying to save a country that doesn't want to be saved."_

_"The cops have to have a decent reason to come after us," Sanosuke said, ignoring Meng and wanting to believe it was all just a simple misunderstanding._

_"Maybe they do." Meng shrugged._

_Sanosuke's expression clouded as he breathed angrily, walking placidly out of the medical tent. _

"Sanosuke?" a quiet female voice asked hesitantly, jarring his thoughts.

Sanosuke shook his head, tearing himself from the memory. He found himself still at his desk, sitting in his small wooden chair, his hands frozen over stacks of disorganized papers. He turned, facing Megumi, who was sitting in his tent, an expectant expression pasted on her face. His expression, however, was quite monotonous, and he gave her a long blank stare before replying in an unwavering tone,

"Yes?"

"Umm..." she started, apparently taken aback by his stolid tone and attitude, "Is there something wrong?"

He didn't respond right away, but only continued to stare at her, the expression on his face unnerving and disturbing Megumi, "Sano?"

"No, nothing's wrong," he replied succinctly, turning his back once more to attend to the things at his desk.

Megumi's breath caught in her throat. _Now_ she was truly confused and perturbed; she wondered if she did anything wrong or said anything she wasn't supposed to. If she did do anything wrong, she couldn't figure out what it was.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud yell outside of the tent, shouting for Sanosuke,

"Captain Sagara!"

Sanosuke sighed almost angrily as he stood up roughly before making his way outside the tent, yelling back, "What?" Megumi sat dumbly inside the tent, remaining there as Sano had left her.  
"It's...It's Hoji, Sir."

"What's wrong?" came Sano's response.

"He's fainted, Sir."

"Fainted?"

"Yessir."

Sano swore swiftly before offering a response, "Take him to the medical tent." Sanosuke's shadow moved slowly, and his fingers found its way to the entrance of the tent, opening the flaps. Megumi soon found two brown eyes staring right at her, not a trace of emotion to be found in them,

"Fox, can you see to Hoji? We're going to need your medical expertise." He didn't wait for an answer as he let the flaps drop, his shadow disappearing to where ever it was he was going.

Megumi sighed a sad sigh, slowly gathering herself as she stood and made her way after Sano to the medical tent.

* * *

_The sun lingered between shadows before flickering behind moving figures. A small breeze flittered through __gaps and spaces, but echoed against hollow walls. Light footsteps left small imprints in the dirt path, and the man who those footprints belonged to breathed evenly with each step. His shadow stopped as he reached his destination, and slowly reached out his hand to open the cloth flaps that hung before him._

_Sanosuke kept a straight face as he entered the dark building. There was a single room, and he went barefoot as he stepped onto the raised floor, feeling the rough material beneath his feet. In the distance, his ears picked up small chirps of crickets._

_He placed two steps into the room and crossed his legs, sitting across a man whose face was concealed within shadows._

_Shouts rang in the background, but neither man paid any attention to them. It was the man who spoke first,  
"Place your bet." He leaned forward, rays of sunlight falling into his face and revealing two chocolate brown eyes set in a lean, well-chiseled face. His cinnamon hair had honey-colored streaks in them, falling delicately into his eyes. He had an unusual dark complexion, his olive skin well-toned._

_Sanosuke remained silent as he carefully and confidently placed three coins in front of him._

_The man's eyebrows quirked, skeptical and amused, "That's all? Mister, this is a private gambling room, and you come in here with only that?"_

_Sano kept a straight face, and only looked directly into his eyes. The look made the man break, _

_"Alright, whatever. Evens or odds?"_

_"Snake-eyes." The first words Sanosuke spoke rang in the room, reverberating against the walls.  
The man whistled, "That's a hefty bet there." He gave Sanosuke a second look, as if wondering if he would take the bet back, "Alright, just 'cause I've got pity for you, I lose only if it's odds." His nimble fingers moved agilely as he pushed four generous stacks of coins before him, placing his own bet._

_Sanosuke remained silent._

_The man crossed his arms in front of him, his right hand holding two dice between his first three fingers, his left hand holding a small, thin brown cup. "So Mister, if you don't mind me asking, what're you going to do with this money if you win it?" He smirked, but did not move, "That is, _if_ you win it."_

_Sanosuke gave the man a look, "It's not for opium, if that's what you're thinking. I'm only short of cash right now." That much was true. After being in Canton for only three weeks, Sanosuke found expenses were taking a toll on him, and he had deduced that the easiest and fastest way to earn more money was to gamble the little he had left._

_The man laughed, moving his head to shake his bangs from his eyes, "I don't know if I believe you." His hands moved lithely, throwing the two dice into the cup and lifting it above his head, skillfully pounding it upside down in front of him. The stacks of coins shook slightly, their shadows wobbling unsteadily. His hands did not move, "The bastards who come in here only want the money to buy more of that devil's drug."_

_Sanosuke was amused, "Well, I take it you disagree with opium."  
"Disagree?" The man laughed, "That's putting it lightly. Damn Westerners. Can't keep their fat noses out of the East's business. They'll do whatever they can to influence China. If there was something I could do to stop it, I would."_

_Sano's reply came fast, "There's the army." _

_The man snorted, "The government? I'd burn in hell before I became one of their loyal followers. I've never been much of a patriot." His eyes were ablaze; Sano had never seen anyone feel so much against the present-day China, and it made him wonder how many people actually disagreed with the Opium War._

_The moment passed, and the man looked up at Sanosuke, "Well Mister, still sticking to your bet?"_

_Sanosuke nodded, playing confident._

_The man's hand moved swiftly, revealing the two dice that lay beneath the cup. The man laughed, _

_"Well, I'll be damned." _

_Two bright red dots were glaring up at them, one on each die._

_"Snake-eyes."_

_Sanosuke exhaled, relieved that he had earned some extra money. He pulled his three coins to him, as well as the four stacks the man had betted. Stringing them onto a piece of twine, he tucked it away, and stood to leave._

_"Hey Mister."_

_Sanosuke turned._

_"Drink?"_

_Sanosuke sighed, and turned back around, facing the man and sitting back down, "Never could turn down a drink." His countenance had finally loosened and he felt comfortable with the man who sat across from him, a man who had similar ideals to his._

_"What'll it be?"_

_"You got _sake

Sake_?" the man repeated, "Don't got many people asking for Japan's drink."_

_Sanosuke made a face._

_The man looked up, catching Sano's expression, "No need to hide it. I can tell you're Japanese. Mind you, most people probably wouldn't catch it." The man reached behind him, drawing two cups and a jug, placing them between them, "'Cause I'm Japanese too."_

_Sanosuke furrowed his eyebrows._

_"You look surprised." The man laughed, and Sanosuke found it comforting that there was someone who could laugh in the day and age they were in. He poured the wine into the two cups, and reached for one, downing the entire shot. Rays of sunlight flashed in his eyes, the entrance-way behind Sanosuke reflecting in his glassy brown eyes._

_"So Mister, what's your name?"_

_"Sanosuke."_

_The man exhaled deeply, closing his eyes and leaning backwards, "And your family name?"_

_"Sagara."_

_The man opened his eyes, his eyebrows raised, "That's not your real name."_

_"No, it's not. But it's the name I've taken."_

_"For good reasons I suppose," the man said, "But it's a strong name."_

_"Why do you say that?" Sanosuke asked, curious now._

_"Because. You sound like a leader. You can tell a lot about a man when he gambles. You've got all the characteristics. Hell, I'd follow you to the edge of the world and jump if you did."_

_This time, Sanosuke laughed and shook his head, clearly amused at this thought, "And what's your name?" _

_The man didn't respond at first and instead poured another round, dipping his head backwards and swallowing the liquid. He set the cup in front of him before staring right back at Sanosuke, his voice prideful, _

_"Hoji."_

* * *

"Have you found what's wrong with Hoji?" came Sano's voice, flat and devoid.

Megumi jumped, slightly surprised at the sudden interruption of her thoughts. Ignoring Sano for the moment, she put her forefingers against Hoji's neck, feeling for an irregular pulse or any signs that would lead her to his condition. She found it odd that she could feel the sharp breath of Sanosuke on her neck, both unnerving and uncomfortable. Finally, Megumi sighed, pulling her long hair out of her old navy silk ribbon, shaking her head, and facing Sanosuke,

"Hoji's had a severe bout of hypotension. In other words, he has had low blood pressure for quite awhile now, and how it has gone unnoticed until now is beyond me. He also seems to be having respiratory complications...even in an unconscious state, his breathing is rather shallow. His skin has begun to cave into his ribs and bones...I can't rule out malnutrition either."

Sanosuke stared back at Megumi with a blank face, "I just need a straight answer, Fox."

Megumi hesitated.

"Well?"

She blinked once, twice, before responding in a small voice, "His breath smells of opium."

A dark look flashed across Sanosuke's face, his gaze narrowed with tints of crimson lining the edge of his normally calm dark brown eyes, "Don't lie."

Megumi was taken aback by the abrupt change of expression on Sanosuke's face, but she did not flinch as she replied calmly, "I wish I were lying. Unfortunately, Hoji has been smoking opium for quite awhile now...I would say a good three to four months. Now that we've discovered the problem, the real situation is getting him off the drug. The withdrawal symptoms are not easy to get past." Megumi stopped, realizing that Sano clearly did not believe what she was saying.

He looked as if he were going to laugh or cry or both, all at once. His voice came almost cracked, but suppressed, apparently holding down many emotions he wanted to release, "And how...And how am I supposed to believe that Hoji has been _smoking_ the very drug that he works against? How do you _expect_ me to believe the words coming from your mouth? Hoji has detested the crap from the moment, the _second,_ I met him!" Sanosuke's voice began to rise, obviously unable to maintain his anger.

Megumi replied softly, "I don't know, Sano."

"Don't give me that. You, of all people, should know how easy it is to buy that crap off the streets," Sano's anger remained compressed, the tips of his nails biting into his palms as he clenched his fists tighter, resisting the urge to punch something.

"What are you trying to say?" Megumi challenged, annoyed at how angry Sanosuke was becoming.

"What the hell do you think I'm trying to say?" spat Sano, "_You_ were a _dealer._"

"What does that have to do with the situation?" Megumi asked as patiently as she could, aware that one of Sano's closest friends had come as close as he could to betraying him, "I've only been here for two or three days."

"For all I know, you might've given him the shit," Sanosuke snorted, ignoring her words, his words unfaltering.

Megumi felt time skip a beat, and looked up at Sano, an almost-angry, disbelieving look on her face, "What are you talking about?"

Sanosuke glared at the two men who still remained in the tent, watching the fight between Megumi and Sano escalate with wide eyes. He stared at them before uttering evenly pronounced words, "Leave us."

Both men saluted hastily before leaving the tent with little more than a few whispered mutters to themselves.

By now the sun was completely overhead and light dully illuminated the tent, the shadows flying off Sanosuke's face. He raised his right hand, and for a second, Megumi thought he was going to strike her across the face. But he didn't, and he forcefully reached into his _gi_ and pulled out a small, triangular paper packet. He pulled out the exact object he had found at the floor of his tent that morning, and tore at one of the triangle's corners before throwing it on the ground. Loose dirt flew up with the impact of the small object, the contents spilling out of the paper and flying into the air.

"Opium."

Megumi nearly choked, as she nearly forgot how to breathe. Her breath caught in her throat, she swallowed and attempted to answer, "Sano..."

Sanosuke stared back at her, forcing down her words, "I don't want to hear it, Fox Eyes. I don't want to hear the excuses you have. Even if you didn't give opium to Hoji, your kind did. I don't know why you're holding on to opium packets. I don't know why you would have to. I probably would have never found out unless they had fallen out last night while we..." Sano trailed off, not wanting to speak the words. By speaking the truth out loud, he would admit to himself what had happened, and at the moment, he didn't want anything to complicate matters. For reasons unknown to him, his mind was clearer than it had been in a long while,

"For me, huh? You did everything _for me?_ You want to know the truth, Fox Eyes? You didn't do it for _me,_ you did it for _you._ You dealt opium to ensure _your _happiness. Because _you_ thought I'd make _you_ happy. _You_ killed or severely inflicted numbers of people for _you._ You know what's driven you this far? Not me. _Your_ selfishness has. You weren't even _forced _to make the crap. _You_ chose to for _your_ own reasons. Not for me. What reasons, _ne?_ Because _you_ love me?"

He stopped speaking, breathing deep even breaths. He continued to look Megumi straight in the eye, unfaltering. Meanwhile, white-hot tears began to stream down her face, darkening her _kimono_ and falling to the ground, landing squarely in the middle of the opened opium. The white powder began to dampen and clump, gathering, mixing with the warm salty pearls.

Her eyes glistened, rays of sunlight reflecting in the glassy surface. She gathered her voice as much as she could, but could only manage two husky, broken words,

"I did."

She forced her feet to move, brushing past the damp, neglected opium before opening the tent's flaps and leaving Sanosuke standing behind her.

* * *

_Megumi dared not breathe, for fear the poisonous fumes would intoxicate her lungs. Her eyes began to water profusely, and her body finally gave in, swallowing one tremendous gulp before holding the air in once again. The air around her was arid and dry, empty and filled with the fumes of opium, continuously burning from candles. There was no where for the bad air to go but up and around, enveloping her in a cloud of air that danced and melted before her eyes. She sat in a cramped room, no windows and no exit, with the exception of the tiny doorway and equally miniscule hole in the roof that let small filtered amounts of air out at once. _

_If the room was not so crowded, it might have been spacious, but Megumi was surrounded by many, many green plants, small in size but plentiful in leaves and pods. Before her were small dishes and small silver, sharp instruments that gleamed in the little light. On her knees, she crouched forward, reaching for an almost-ripened pod from one of the plants. Taking the green pod between her fingers, she pulled with a steady hand, disconnecting the small pod from its stalk. The leaves quivered as she pulled it away, tickling her hand._

_Experienced fingers held the green pod still, her other hand holding a thin, but sharp, blade. The silver sang as it flew across the pod, creating dark, wide, and sharp gashes in the green flesh._

_Almost immediately, a white, milky liquid began pouring out, released from the crevice that once held it, and skilled hands rushed the pod to a wide and low dish, balancing the fruit so the latex would not spill onto the ceramic, wasting precious, smooth elixir._

_Megumi dared another breath, and held it in again._

_She lifted her hands, and clenched her fist, flexing her long-worked fingers. She kept her lips sealed tight as she reached for a different pod on a different dish. The once-white milky liquid had hardened on this one, dried into an ugly-looking brown, sticky resin that stuck to the fruit's faded green, crusting and forming to the circular shape of the fruit. _

_Careful not to touch the hardened brown crust, she picked up another instrument -- this one with an uneven, jagged edge. Holding it over the now-empty dish, she began to tediously scrape off the resin, the raw opium falling delicately into the dish, undisturbed by the wind that was not present. _

_She breathed again and finished her task, setting the blade aside and tossing the now-useless pod into a small bamboo basket with hundreds of other useless pods. _

_She picked up the dish filled with raw opium, her hands trembling ever-so-slightly. Directing the ceramic towards a small, steel pot sitting above a comfortably-burning fire, she poured the powder into the near-boiling water. The flakes fell into the clear liquid, instantaneously dissolving and frantically dancing within the bubbles that formed from the bottom of the pot. The color of the liquid went from clear to a murky brown in a matter of minutes. _

_Sweat began to bead at her forehead, slipping into her eyes like tears. _

_She tended to the fire and made sure it was kept at a moderately low heat. When the mixture was finally ready, she removed the pot from the orange fire, pouring the brown liquid into a square-shaped container with an open top. A special type of fabric lined the container, allowing the mixture to be filtered, leaving behind the unwanted vegetable waxes of the opium poppy plant. _

_Megumi inhaled slowly, removing the lining and placing it in the same bamboo basket. A murky, wet substance was left behind in the container, and all Megumi had left to do was hang it over a low heat, leaving behind the smokeable form of opium. Then, all she would normally have to do was press the opium into bricks and ship it off to be sold. _

_But, having done this for less than two weeks for the old man, she knew that he was a private seller, merchants from local Canton coming to _him_ in order to purchase the illegal drug. _

_Megumi, however, having previous experience, did not press the opium into bricks, but used a more refined method of adding an ingredient she knew she was not permitted to add, slipping the powder from packets in her kimono. If she were caught, she could not even begin to fathom the consequences. But nonetheless, what was produced was a fine, white powder, delicately measured into stiff, paper triangle packets that were quite costly considering the amount. _

_Megumi gulped, and her thoughts wandered as she continued her monotonous task, set before her again and again, and day after day. She knew what she was doing was wrong, there was not a doubt in her mind that even began to attempt to provide justification. But her excuse, her reason, for doing what she did, she believed, was for Sanosuke. In the back of her mind, she was beginning to forget the image of Sanosuke. She was beginning to forget what is face looked like...the images in her mind were blurred and fringed at the edges...she was forgetting his scent, the sound of his voice and even his strong presence. It all scared her beyond the harsh reality._

_Within two weeks of being in Canton, she was shoved out of every available applicable job that was reasonable within her mind. _

_As she was moving the forming-opium from the fire, a short figure hobbled into the room, balancing on a lone, crooked wooden cane. Splotches of age dotted his temples, his grisly hair quivering as he limped into the room, his squinty eyes pulled into a broad grin. The usual pipe trembled on his pale lower lip, smoke issuing from the small mouth. _

_"Well, well, my dear," he smiled, "It looks as if things are doing quite well." He exhaled, white wisps wavering into the air. He pursed his lips on the long, brown pipe, looking about him at the room, taking in Megumi and all her work._

_Megumi did not respond, but merely continued to work, pretending to have not heard him._

_"Your opium is catching brilliant prices, my Fox," the pipe shook violently, "You really have got quite a talent with these drugs."_

_"I'd rather not have this 'talent' at all," Megumi said quietly, vehemently._

_"What was that, my dear?"_

_"Nothing," she replied hastily._

_"Mmmm," the old man murmured, lulled by the sensation of the smoke sweeping over him, "At any rate, I will need a new batch of your wondrous opium by early next week. A very important client, my dear, is expecting much of it." He breathed again, the white smoke washing over Megumi. She coughed, her eyes watering as she choked, waving her hand about in a frail attempt to clear the poisoned air from her lungs._

_The old man turned slowly with age, moving to leave the room. Before he was even able to make it past the broad doorway however, the thin form of Megumi swept past him, never to return to the caverns of the room ever again. Her shadow had left its mark._

_"Always remember...frail dreams are not suspended from threads of spider's webs...weak hopes are abashed by those who can...turn a corner, and the fork in the road leads to the same cruel destination..."_

* * *

Words so whispered in her ear with a vengeance, while soft pleated feat suffocated tear-soaked dirt beneath. Running away yet again, and with no means of looking behind for one last sweet time. Broken in mirrored pieces, she wandered beyond the norm to a place perhaps that would be better.

Smoke enveloped her, and she swallowed the last tint of hope.


	11. shut

Author's Notes: I doubt there's anyone still out there, but here's the update (at last). Sorry it took so long, but life kinda got in the way. (sigh). So, I think this one's pretty long (12 pages!), and it's one of my more informative chapters. Details details details!

Thank you so much to the reviewers, and if you have returned after my long absence, I can only say thank you again.

As always, reviews are encouraged and believe it or not, they do help me along! Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to me (sigh), but I do own this storyline and any outside characters.

* * *

chap. 11- shut

Sanosuke fumed, glaring at the closed flaps before him. There was a silent buzz that resounded loudly in his ears, sequenced with the uneven breathing of Hoji behind him. He knew that he should not have vented all of his anger on Megumi...there were the emotions that welled up inside of him and had let loose, springing words that he had kept within him. All the words he had said...he meant.

What was he supposed to think? So many events were being hurled at him at once.

It could be his fault his army was now in danger...

It could be his fault that Megumi is where she is now...

It could be his fault Hoji lay there, broken and near death...

It could be his fault he had dragged everyone into this mess...

Sano trembled slightly, and fought to steady himself, keep himself together, stay with his thoughts.

He turned, gazing at the unconscious Hoji. Thoughts whirled in his mind as he gripped the edge of the wooden table that sat next to Hoji's limp figure, bent over in exasperation. The world was reflected in his glassy brown eyes, averted and unconscious of the world surrounding him.

"What am I supposed to do, Captain Sagara?" Sanosuke whispered softly, addressing the man whose name he had honorably taken.

"Talking to yourself, Captain?" a voice shattered Sano's thoughts, the tent flap falling noisily back into place.

"Hello Meng," Sano replied voicelessly, not bothering to explain his rather dishelved figure.

Meng rotated his neck, listening to the joints in his neck crack before speaking, "That woman left...just thought you'd like to know."

Sano nodded.

"A pity, really. She was rather helpful when it came to medicine and treatment. Not that our medical team is bad or anything, but that woman could work wonders. She really knew what she was doing." Meng scratched the back of his neck, oblivious to Sano's inattentive state.

When Sano did not respond, Meng continued, "Aw well, we were all sad to see her go. I see you especially."

Sanosuke finally seemed to have comprehended what Meng was saying, and stared back at him in a dubious manner.

"It's alright, you'll be fine," Meng said reproachfully, "It's not like you slept with her or anything." And just like that, Meng gesticulated with a wave of his hand, walking out of the tent.

"Yeah...right..." Sano whispered to the empty air. He knew he was being unreasonable...he knew he was becoming repetitive and restless and rash and... He stopped, wondering where he was going to lead himself now. He would have to do his best to cope for the time being...and accept that _she_ was now out of his life... He had said enough to keep her broken and away, he knew. Sadly, he knew.

His life would not be the same since she had walked back in and out again... He had to shove her out of his mind, and keep her out.

"Regrets aren't to be kept," Sanosuke muttered to himself, and with finality, he moved his foot, brushing a tremendous wave of dirt, covering the opium packet laying open on the ground. The soil swirled, the opium buried, stomped, suffocated beneath layers of dirt.

* * *

If anything more were hurled at him, Sanosuke did not think he would be able to bear it. In a mere day...in a mere morning...events were colliding past him unbeknownst to his consciousness. He sighed, and walked into the afternoon light, immediately heading towards the horses. Throwing sundry pieces of hay to the horses and feeding them water, he kept his mind blank, knowing that this was usually a chore he did not commit himself to doing.

His men must have noticed as well, but they kept out his proximity, knowing fully well that their Captain was not to be disturbed when he went on a thinking rampage. They owed him that much, at the very least. He had befriended each of them individually before asking them to join his cause and his army. They knew that Hoji was the first he had asked to join him, and the closest person he had to a friend in China. If there was anyone that could obtain the Captain's leniency, it was Hoji.

So the day dragged on, clouds occasionally shrouding the land in a muffled blanket of shade. Sanosuke kept to himself, restlessly doing chores and jobs that he would not do on a normal day. He did infer as to Hoji's condition and did not ask others to tend to orders. If a person on the outside were looking in, he would assume that Captain Sagara was keeping the pain away by not gazing the monster straight in the eye. He was avoiding the pain. But it was anyone's guess as to what Sanosuke was thinking. Perhaps he wasn't thinking...or thinking about the most petty things...of the weather or supplies or the steady beat of his breath.

The sun set into the horizon, the dull, red globe bleeding into the black clouds surrounding it. The day was coming to a sad close, and Sano had still said nothing to any of his men. They kept their distance and went about as if this were the normal routine.

Normally, the men would refer to Hoji, ask what was wrong with Captain Sagara and if there was anything they could do to help? But Hoji's absence was more than apparent. Who were they to turn to? Were they to be left leaderless? A group of men left without a leader would inevitably turn into a mindless mob. But they kept their cool for the time being.

Sano finally finished whatever it was that he had been doing and walked into his tent, gazing thoughtlessly at the rumpled sheets of his futon and the overall disheveled appearance of his tent. Turning around, he stuck his head out of his tent, and although his voice was quiet and monotonous, he was heard, "Meng."

The Chinese man appeared out of thin air, responding to his Captain's call, "Yessir?"

Sano breathed deeply before replying, "I want you to lead a small number of men to investigate what you believe the government has got pinned on us."

Meng's eyebrows quirked, "Oh really?"

"Yes. I will only allow three men at the most. Find out what you can, but with one exception."

"What's that?" Meng asked curiously.

"Don't get caught."

Meng smirked and disappeared, running off to find the two other men that would accompany him into the maze of the heart of Canton.

Curiosity had gotten the better of Sano, as well as the desperate need to know what he had done wrong. It was better to know what the government believed his army to be doing and know how to fight it, rather than stand ignorant and open to attacks. He remained at the front of his tent, staring out at his men who were either turning in to sleep or eating or drinking. He believed that he had never felt this refreshed. Again, his past was forgotten.

"Giichi." His voice called out another name.

Giichi appeared as well -- though slightly slower than Meng had -- limping steadily on a wooden cane situated beneath the crook of his right arm. As predicted, Giichi's right leg was indeed shorter than his left. But this did not reinforce the fact that Giichi was making a near-miraculous recovery, though he still could not scout. Giichi nodded in response to Sano's call.

"Well, Giichi," Sano started, "I would ask you to scout, as you are my best scout, but there is a slight problem with that."

"No need to rub it in, Sir," Giichi commented.

"I'm not, Giichi," Sano said, "As you are not open to scout, I need an opinion from you instead."  
"What's that?...Sir," Giichi added hastily.

"Who do you think can do as good a job as you? Or at least, close to as good a job as you?"

Giichi stared at Sano, thinking it was a big joke, "Are you kidding me, Captain? You know each of these men like I do; you should already know...I don't see why you should be asking me."  
"Second opinion," Sanosuke said simply.

Giichi rolled his eyes and mumbled something about Sanosuke "wanting to make him suffer" before saying slowly, "Well, if I had to pick someone, I'd have to say Matashi's pretty good."

Sano nodded and added, "Well, then I want you to tell Matashi to scout that boat off the Pearl River that you failed to take a look at," -- Giichi scowled -- "and tell him to also report anything that regards progress in the War."

Giichi stared at Sano with a doubtful look on his face, but limped off to find Matashi.

Lightning forked across the sky, and thunder rumbled thoughtfully, but no rain fell. Sanosuke disregarded this omen and walked into his tent to wait to see how the dice would roll.

* * *

With his arms crossed, Sanosuke sat across from Hoji in the medical tent the next morning. There was no sun, but merely shadows that passed effortlessly through open spaces. Sano's eyes had long ago adjusted to the slight darkness, and he continued to stare at nothing in particular, though his gaze was set in Hoji's direction.

Before Megumi had walked off, she had left directions to concoct a medicinal powder that would apparently help ease Hoji's pain. One of his men had told Sano this and had handed him the powder mixed in hot water to serve to Hoji when he regained consciousness. Although Sano's pride was severely inflicted, he accepted the steaming cup and brought it to Hoji's tent, waiting for his friend to awaken.

Sanosuke was not sure how long he sat waiting, but eventually, and miraculously, Hoji's eyelids began to flutter, and drowsily he half-opened his eyes, staring at the cream color of the tent. Sano let him take his time before leaning over to greet Hoji's return to consciousness.

"Hello Hoji," Sano said plainly.

"Hullo Captain..." Hoji drawled, forcing the words to painfully leave his mouth, "You must hate me for this..."

Sano ignored this comment with one of his own, "Think you can sit up? We've got a wondrous medicine here that'll ease the pain."

Hoji winced, "No thanks...Lemme suffer..."

"Suit yourself." With that, Sano turned the ceramic cup over without hesitation, spilling the contents onto the ground. The soil drank the liquid quickly, the dirt darkening into a huge circular glob. Sanosuke set down the cup before adding, "Mind telling me what's going on with you?" He kept his voice and tone as even as he could, if anything, he was more confused than angry at Hoji, and he desperately wanted to know why Hoji did what he had done.

Hoji continued to stare up at the tent, appearing to not have heard what Sano had asked. He blinked once, twice, before sighing tiredly in response, "Sano..." -- only Hoji could get away with addressing Sanosuke so mildly -- "I don't think I can come up with any excuses, so I'll just give you the truth. If anything sounds like an excuse, I apologize."

Sano nodded, wanting to understand, though he sat there emotionlessly waiting.

Hoji continued in a ragged breath, apparently struggling to breath, "I guess you could say I was tricked into it. Maybe I was pretending to be naive...I don't know...But...I was at a bar by myself...and then...this man walked up to me...offered me a joint...but godammit I was so damn drunk...I guess in that mess I thought that it was a harmless smoke..."

Sanosuke had half a mind to burst into lecturous rage, but seeing his friend lying there so pitifully broken made sympathy take over. Begrudgingly, he decided he would let Hoji finish his story.

"But it wasn't," Hoji rasped, "Took me awhile to realize the shit was opium...But I was hooked...godammit Sano I was fucking hooked. Days and weeks after that I was searching for that shit...I was _searching_ for that shit... I knew I had to stop, but fighting the temptation? Sonuvabitch, it's the hardest thing to resist...you start seeing things...and the physical effects..." Hoji trailed off, the shadows under his eyes growing.

Sanosuke bowed his head, thinking for a long while of what to do. No thought popped into his head, so he simply spoke his mind, "Hoji...To say the very least, I am disappointed. I can't even begin to say anything because I don't know where the beginning is. I could be angry, but I think I'm so overwhelmed by confusion that I can't be angry... I always thought better of you, but now..."

Hoji closed his eyes, but Sano knew he was listening...and drinking in every word he said.

"One thing's for sure," Sano continued, "is that we have to get you off opium... I'll figure out a way for you to deal with the consequences later." His evenly toned voice reached Hoji's ears, and even though he could barely comprehend what was happening, Hoji could not detect a hint of anger in Sano's voice...in fact, Sano seemed distant and mechanical, as if this was the normal routine that went on day by day.

Hoji did not even attempt to resist Sano's statement, but merely lay there, contemplating the long road now ahead of him. Already Hoji felt nauseated, the world feeling unsteady beneath him. He knew that this was the effects that would happen if he continued not to smoke opium, and had a gut-sinking feeling that it would only get worse from here on out.

Outside the tent, a shadow appeared among shadows, the figure noiselessly landing on the ground. A voice traveled through the air, "Cap'n."

Sanosuke glanced one last time at Hoji before standing up, shoving the tent flap aside to greet the man that had called his name. Hoji remained inside, laying on his back with thoughts roaming about his head.

"What is it?" Sanosuke asked; he was surprised to find Matashi standing before him, apparently already back after completing what Sano had requested of him.

Matashi had a lithe figure, taller and thinner than most other men. However, his physique did not deter him from whatever task he set out to do, and his high cheek bones and black hair were more than commonplace. Although he seemed lanky, Matashi was extremely agile and would think of one hundred and fifty ways to kill a person if left in the same room with him for an extended amount of time. Much less to say, Matashi's presence was not kept for more than five minutes.

"Sir," Matashi saluted, "First off, I went to the Pearl River to see if that boat was still there."

"And?"

"Sir, it's not there anymore. I did some digging and found that it had taken off to restock."

"Do you know where it's headed?"

"India, Sir. The opium merchant there has got to trade other goods to obtain opium from the East India Company," Matashi replied, tallying the information effortlessly from his mind.

"Very well," Sanosuke sighed, "Any further information?"

"Yessir. It's regarding progress in the war."

"Go ahead."

Matashi shifted his position, taking a breath before he responded, "As you know Sir, Imperial Commissioner Lin Tse-hsu is under orders from the Emperor to rid Canton, and China for that matter, of opium completely."

Sano nodded knowingly, signaling Matashi to continue.

"Commisioner Lin still continues to search for opium dens. He still is ordering the continuation of the confiscation and destruction of opium."

"You mean he's still...?" Sanosuke trailed off.

"Yessir," Matashi answered promptly, "Deep, water-filled, trenches are still being built along the shore. The opium chests that the government confiscates is broken open and soaked in the water. As you know, large barrels of lime and salt are added, liquefying the opium and decomposing it."

"Is he still using laborers?"

"Yessir, the laborers stir the mixture which goes straight into the sea."

"Very well," Sano said, "Anything else?"

"As a matter of fact, yessir, there's more," Matashi replied, "I snuck around Great Britain's ships to see if I could gather information regarding what they plan to do next. As I found out, Great Britain's bringing a large expeditionary force straight from Singapore. They plan to attack Canton's defenses right here on her shores."

"How soon?"

"Within the next three days, Sir."

"What's Lin done? Does he know of this?" Sano asked urgently.

"He doesn't know about Britain's plans, Sir...or at least, not that I'm aware of. All he knows is of the past, minor warships that Great Britain has already sent. However, in addition to the many Chinese war junk ships he has stationed around Canton's shores, he has recently bought an American sailing ship and outfitted it with a cannon supplied by a group of enterprising Portugese merchants."

Sano muttered something to himself before turning to Matashi, "Lin's continuation with the destruction of opium will not go his way...he's wasting his time with that...he doesn't do it effectively enough, and it's getting him nowhere."

Matashi nodded, unsure of what his reaction should be.

"Shit...If Great Britain never brought that opium here, we wouldn't be in this crap in the first place," Sano mumbled, "...Although there have been a few minor tussles between Britain and China, Britain's never done anything as drastic as bringing out an entire expeditionary force. There is definitely going to be trouble, and Canton ain't going to have any hopes of putting up a decent fight. That American ship isn't going to help."

"So...what are we going to do, Sir?" Matashi ventured slowly.

Captain Sagara snapped out of his concentration and stared at Matashi, taking a split second before he responded, "At this moment, I'm not sure. Let's wait until Meng gets back with his report."

Matashi nodded and began to walk away. However, he had taken only a few steps before abruptly turning around to face Sanosuke again.

"One more thing, Sir," Matashi said, "I almost forgot."

Sanosuke looked up from his thoughts, "What is it?"

"In a recent report to the Emperor, Commissioner Lin stated exactly this --" Matashi paused, bringing his thoughts together, "'English warships are now arriving at Canton. Although it's certain that they will not venture to create a disturbance here, I am certain that they will, like great rats, attempt to shelter the vile sellers of opium.' Lin concluded that 'People say that our junks and guns are no match for the British...But they do not know.'"

Sanosuke had the most peculiar expression on his face -- that of a disbelieving manner -- and promptly snorted at this statement: "Like hell we don't know."

* * *

Beyond what he could physically see, Sanosuke saw nothing. He was completely wiped, emotionally and physically. The sheer mental strain he felt on his brain was taking a toll on his body, but he kept himself in check, keeping his mind completely driven to the task at hand. He kept his eyes focused on China and his army and their mission.

Although it was the next morning, the day after Matashi had reported to him, and despite the fact there was bright sunshine leaking through gaps in the grey clouds, firelight burned before his eyes, the lithe flames dancing in the glassy reflection. His breakfast cooked slowly on a stick next to the fire, the orange and red and yellow licking at the fish's roughed skin. A charred piece began to peel away from the surface of the fish, waving precariously in the breeze that had lifted until finally it simply tore off and flew away to some place unknown to Sano.

Sighing tiredly, he pulled the wooden stick out of the ground and began to raise the delicious morsel of food to his mouth when he abruptly halted. He discreetly rolled his eyes and in one smooth motion, lowered the fish.

"Report, Meng," he said placidly.

Meng's figure vaporized seemingly out of thin air, and his face was etched in a knowing manner.

"I was going to let you finish your breakfast, Sir," Meng replied coolly, not in a stolid, contemptuous manner, but in a calm, nonchalant way.

Sanosuke huffed, and promptly took a giant swallow of the fish, chewing in a routine manner, "How gracious of you." Sano took another bite before saying, "I doubt I would've had a decent meal with you hovering all around the place anyways."

"Was I that obvious, Sir?" Meng asked, more out of response than curiosity.

"Not extremely," Sanosuke chewed.

Meng simply stood there, waiting for Sanosuke to finish eating. When the Captain was done, however, he quickly disposed of the remnants of the fish with the exception of a thin fish bone, placing it between his teeth.

"Go ahead," Sano said through the thin bone.

Meng cleared his throat, "Well Captain, upon sneaking into the Commissioner Lin's building, we came upon nothing but the war, which wasn't our task. However, we did overhear a major officer reporting to Lin on 'the Army of _Aku_,' and I ultimately presumed he was referring to our quaint little army right here. The official said that his troops were tending to the matter, and I decided to check out the building where all of the government's troops are being quartered.

"We snuck in, blended in, and did the best we could to suck the information out of them without being too obvious. It didn't take long, however, until I got all the information I needed. Apparently Sir, all of us here are wanted on several accounts of invasion of private property and battery, as well as many, many accusations of attempted murder."

Meng paused.

A small breeze fluttered past, and Meng's long, black hair glided easily with the wind. Sanosuke listened intently to every word Meng uttered, taking his time to absorb what Meng had said so far.

"Do they know why we apparently 'invaded property,' 'attempted to murder,' and 'batter'?" Sano finally asked, "Do they know we never murdered a single person? Do they know that we are on their side and that we are trying to help them get rid of the opium merchants? Do they know that they aren't supposed to be chasing us?"

"With all due respect, Sir, don't take it out on me -- I'm only reporting what I found out," Meng countered mildly, "However, yes, they do know that we hunt opium dens and opium merchants. Ironically Sir, this is our downfall. The Chinese army has their pride Sir, and because you are Japanese, I don't know if you know about the pride of the Chinese army. No offense intended, Captain," Meng added hastily. He paused slightly before continuing,

"However...they do not like this pride to be dented. By our actions of attempting to help them with the opium situation, they have interpreted it as a sign of mockery. They believe that we think they cannot do their job correctly. By taking the situation into our hands, they believe that we are trying to ruin their good name and trample over their job as the Chinese army."

Sanosuke snorted, the fish bone quivering.

"Are you aware, Sir, of the corruption of the army?" Meng asked.

Sanosuke nodded, unsure of where Meng was headed in his explaination, "The army is filled with spies and backstabbing liars...in fact, they are most known for defrauding the people with their taxes."

Meng bobbed his head in agreement, "Exactly, Sir. That is how they have turned everybody against us. We are wanted not only for these counts of attempted murder and what-not, but they have gained the people's support by framing us."

"Do you mean...?" Sanosuke ventured slowly, not wanting to utter the words.

"Yessir. We have been framed with the tax defrauds that the army itself commits."

Beneath his breath, Sano swore in Japanese. He felt like the air had been squeezed out of him entirely.

"Do they know that we are camped here?" Sanosuke asked.

Meng shook his head, "No Sir, not that I'm aware of. However, there is a reward for our lives, dead or alive, and I doubt it will be long before someone finds us."

The fish bone between Sano's lips shook violently, "Shit."

"And you should know, Sir," Meng added leisurely, "That the British Royal Navy will be arriving at Canton's shores in no less than three days."

Captain Sagara exhaled in exasperation, and the fish bone went flying, landing squarely in the quivering flames of the fire. His voice came pallid and overridden,

"I know."

* * *


	12. silence

Author's Notes: I am baaaaaaack! Well, because I've been gone for so long, I certainly hope returning readers won't be disappointed. I'm definitely working on updating more often... It will be my New Year's resolution. I am determined!

Anyways, enjoy enjoy enjoy! Please don't forget to review!

(Where oh where has Megumi gone? You'll have to review to find out.)

Disclaimer: RK is not mine.

* * *

chap. 12 - silence

_"What was that?" Hoji paused, abruptly halting all action as he sat in the shadowed gambling house of where they first met, staring blankly at Sanosuke._

_"I think you heard me," Sanosuke replied irritably, "I'm going to form an army to rid China of opium, and I'm asking you to join me."_

_A cricket chirped distantly, and a fly buzzed somewhere in the room, filling the abrupt and apparent silence that had ensued, as both Hoji and Sanosuke continued to stare at eachother -- Hoji in complete disbelief and Sano in clear determination. _

_"Are you crazy?" Hoji gaped, his voice skeptic, "Do you know what could happen? Do you know all the crap that's going to be put into this so-called mission of yours? You need weapons and the right men and horses...damn, I don't even know what else." Hoji ticked off everything on his fingers, holding them up as a visual demonstration of the effort that Sanosuke was, in his opinion, throwing himself blindly into._

_Sanosuke threw Hoji an annoyed look, "You're the one that gave me the idea."_

_"And I'm sorry I did," Hoji muttered to himself, "It's going to get us killed."_

_Sanosuke huffed impatiently, "Listen, you and I are living proof that there are people out there who don't like where China's going. We could get rid of opium, and if you're afraid of dying to make this country just a little better than what it is now..."_

_"I never said I was afraid of dying," Hoji snorted, tossing his head distractedly to rid his brown bangs from his eyes, "But you have to think of the consequences of your future actions, Sano, and I doubt all of it's going to be that happy ending you're looking for."_

_Sano stared back at Hoji, "If we don't do anything, then China will surely die. If we don't do something to stop opium, it's going to spread throughout China, and people are going to be dying...do you want that on your conscience, Hoji? You have the ability to try, and if you don't do something, won't that be a heavy burden to carry?"_

_"You're going to be carrying it right along with me," Hoji countered, tossing two dice in his right hand absentmindedly._

_"No, I'm not."_

_Hoji looked up at these words, immediately ceasing action in his right hand. He felt the two white cubes fall heavily into his hand, and he gazed at Sanosuke, wondering how far Sanosuke was actually willing to go._

_"Look, Hoji," Sanosuke sighed, "Whether you join me or not isn't an issue. I'll go ahead and do whatever the hell I want and I'm sure you will too --" -- Hoji's eyebrows quirked at this -- "But I thought..." Sano trailed off, unable to finish his sentence._

_"You thought I'd join you?" Hoji inquired, "That I'd believe in everything you stand for and follow you to the depths of hell? -- 'cause I swear, that's where we're going."_

_Slowly, but surely, Sano nodded._

_"Well then you're right," Hoji sighed, "I'll join you and your stupid cause to make sure you don't die, you stupid moron. I'll join you because you need someone there to look after you so you don't start making rash and moronic mistakes."_

_Instead of being offended by this, Sanosuke smiled broadly, laughing at the stupidly serious expression on Hoji's face._

_"It's not funny, you know," Hoji stated, though there was a hint of a grin pulling at the corners of his mouth, "Though I have to ask you something." Hoji's face was suddenly pulled back into an imploring look, "China ain't your country, you don't have to save her. So why are you going to?"_

_"Simple," Sanosuke replied, with the same clear tone, "I didn't take the name 'Sagara' for nothing. He was a Captain himself and --" Sanosuke halted, unwilling to utter the words outloud. The same fly buzzed as it flew through the dense silence once more._

_"Captain Sagara," Hoji said loudly, filling the uncomfortable silence, "It's gonna be weird calling you that."_

* * *

The glowing orb lingered hesitantly over the horizon, peeking through the smallest gaps in the heavy grey clouds. The wisps barely touching the sun's edge were dyed crimson, while the rest of the thick blanket glowed an eerie green, touched with the palest hint of the color. Heavy bullet-fast raindrops pierced the air, landing squarely and with heavy impact upon the surfaces of Captain Sagara's camp, soaking every surface within the minute the water arrived.

The thundering rain created a steady beat upon the canvas of Hoji's tent, where he lay within the shadowy caverns. The material of the tent was soaked thoroughly, and although it was created to withstand such terrany, there was a musky and humid scent that filled the tent, much like the smell of a warm swamp. A single flame burned within the tent, the fire burning precariously thin on a string soaked in oil which was captivated by a low porcelein dish much like a _sake_ cup.

The flame flickered as a drop of water gathered and fell from the tent's roof, barely missing the orange glow. In doing so, for the briefest moment, Hoji's face was illuminated, revealing his face that was covered in a slick, thick layer of sweat, glimmering beneath the momentary glare of the flame. He moaned in pain, watching the world spin behind closed eyes. Dizzyingly, he turned to his side, clutching his abdomen in a vague attempt to ease the pain. Prickles of green and blue flared as his eyelids shut tighter, nauseating effects swirling his brain. A sickening taste retched in the back of his throat, flooding into his mouth and suffocating him. He let the taste go, feeling white-hot liquid seep between his lips.

Somewhere in the subconsciousness of his mind, Hoji could hear someone enter the tent, then sigh in exasperation. Subconsciously, Hoji knew who it was, for he was the only person who visited so frequently, and subconsciously, he knew what that person was there for.

Captain Sagara stood at the entrance of the tent, soaked through-and-through to the bone with the chilling rain that had swept without mercy and so suddenly. His brown hair was patted down at the back of his neck, and he shivered slightly at entering a warmer atmosphere, though the difference in temperature was actually quite little. He watched noiselessly as Hoji lay in his futon, the wrinkled covers thrown back and soaked with sweat. He observed wordlessly as his friend was tormented by the agonizing effects that would take place once Hoji stopped taking in the drug.

But seconds after he entered, Hoji suddenly began to violently thrash where he lay, most unlike the usual mild shaking that would occur.

Hoji was caught completely off-guard, though he was distracted by the abrupt terror that had caught him and had little time to notice. He felt as if he was drowning where he lay, the water pulling over his mouth, his nose... He couldn't breathe, and the heavy, black water pulled over his entire body, dragging him under. His eyes were now open wide, but he could see nothing except for the liquid that was seeping into his mouth, suffocating him with an endless sea. He kicked at the water in an attempt to pull himself upwards, panicking as he found himself pinned by two strong hands.

It was Sanosuke who stared into Hoji's open and blank gaze, and it was he who held down his friend, although all the while Hoji's slick skin slipped against Sano's grip and he fought to hold Hoji still. Sanosuke struggled against Hoji, attempting as much as possible to keep his friend still until his violent outburst subsided. The flame situated near the two men trembled at the sudden and quick movements, the light swaying dreamily across the tent.

_Hoji's hallucinating..._ The thought entered Sano's mind as he held down his friend, until finally the thrashing and kicking dulled into a quivering shake that never seemed to go away.

Hoji trembled beneath Sano's hand, and hesitantly and carefully, the Captain loosened his grip and stepped back. Slowly, Hoji's eyes cracked open, the world blurred black at the edges of his vision and he could not clearly comprehend what had happened. His breathing steadied, and apparently satisfied Hoji would not break into another fit, Sano sat himself down on an upturned wooden bucket next to Hoji's futon. Sighing tiredly, he grabbed the cloth soaking in a nearby tub of cold water, wringing out the excess water, and dabbing Hoji's sweat-covered face before laying it on his forehead.

"I can't believe I'm acting like your mother now," Sanosuke muttered, frustrated. Hoji's eyes shut tight and he moaned again, his expression twisted into that of pure agony.

"You realize what's happening, right?" Sano asked, though not entirely sure he would receive a response from Hoji, "In two days Britain's coming with ships, and Canton's going to get crushed...we're going out there, and you would be going too if you weren't stuck in this crappy situation." Sano's voice turned bitter, pronouncing words dripping with disappointment.

"I'm going...with you..."

Sano looked up at Hoji, surprised to have heard a response. "Are you kidding me?" Sano laughed in disbelief, "You aren't even in any position to stand, let alone fight."

Sano pulled the now-warm cloth from Hoji's forehead, dunking into the cold water once more before wringing it and placing it back on Hoji's face.

"Doesn't matter..." Hoji coughed in a rasp voice, "...won't stop me..."

"Stop kidding yourself," Sano scoffed in disgust, "You're staying right here with Giichi...He ain't fighting either, on account of his broken leg."

"But that's...only going to be...eleven men...including you..." Hoji murmured brokenly, taking deep gulps of air between fragments of words.

"Yeah, well, that can't be helped," Sano pronounced curtly.

There was a nasty silence as Sano once more lifted the warm cloth from Hoji's heated skin, wetting, twisting, and placing it upon Hoji's skin once more. The only noise filling the emptiness was the occassional trickle of water drops of the roof of the tent and the consistant pounding of the rain.

Finally, Sano's voice broke through, barely at a whisper, "Remember when we first met? That day when I had nothing but made the biggest gamble anyways?"

Sanosuke thought he saw the faintest twitch of a smile at Hoji's lips, "You betted snake eyes..."

"Yeah..." Sanosuke said quietly, "You weighted those dice, didn't you?"

Silence.

Then...

"What..?"

"You weighted those dice. There was a weight on one side of each die. You let me win."

"I...yeah..." Hoji admitted, slowly closing his eyes, "You came in...like the biggest loser with nothing...and make the stupidest bet...it was pity...or maybe sympathy..."

"Same thing," Sano said, "In any case, I'll show sympathy -- or pity -- to you. I'm not going to let you die from this drug. You're going to stay here with Giichi, and you're going to live, because when I get back, I'd better be able to see that you're alive and breathing."

"No...I'm going with...I'm not going to be weakened by this drug..." As if to prove that he was well enough to fight, Hoji attempted to sit up, the cloth from his forehead falling onto the ground. In effect, Hoji began breaking into a series of wild coughs, causing his throat to vibrate with each violent retch.

"You're staying here," Sano replied, picking up the crumpled, damp cloth.

"I already told you --" Hoji managed through his coughs.

"And I'm telling you!" Sano's voice suddenly burst into a loud threatening tone, reverberating across the tent's damp walls, and completely drowning out the beat of the heavy rain. Dark had fallen, and shadows cast across the Captain's face, giving his expression a fierce edge. His voice bellowed loudly and angrily, unleashing compressed torment and rage, and feeling the emotions tear through them as the words echoed in Hoji's ears,

"You think I don't want you to go! You think I'd rather have one of my strongest fighters laying here weak instead of out there, fighting! You think I _appreciate_ the fact that the reason you _can't_ fight is because of the one thing I thought you detested! Tell me this, Hoji -- Who's really at fault here? I'm suffering, certainly, but I don't think you have anybody else to blame except for yourself. You got yourself blown into this mess, and now you're going to have to suffer, too. So when I say that you're staying here, I mean it, because you won't be any good out there if you couldn't even prove to me which side you're on."

Hoji looked up at Sano in the most unreadable expression, before slowly rasping, "So when do we leave to fight again?"

Sanosuke yelled loudly in frustration, and in pure anger, he reached out as his fist contacted with the side of Hoji's face, sending his friend sprawling back to his futon in a crumpled heap, still conscious, but shocked into such a stillness that could be mistaken as unconsciousness. Hoji could feel his left cheek throb, and could feel the flush of blood that rushed there, knowing that his skin was already dyed a sickly black-and-blue.

Captain Sagara threw the cold cloth into the water bucket, the liquid sloshing as he headed through the tent's flaps into the pouring needle rain.

* * *

The next morning brought less rain, and by noon the water had completely dispersed, leaving behind only traces of damp remnants. There was still the sticky, muggy smell of humidity lingering in the air, but other than that and the drenched tents and drying horses, the weather couldn't have been more uncomfortable.

Sanosuke felt a lingering guilt laying in the pit of his stomach at hitting Hoji so suddenly and so irrationally. But also, buried even deeper within him was the part of him that argued that he was keeping more than just his anger towards Hoji surpressed.

However, the thought of the task at hand was more than enough to deter him from the direction of Hoji's tent, and he decided that he would give a thorough and deeply humble apology when he returned from the fight in the heart of Canton. Though the thought of apologizing to Hoji after coming back from the fight Hoji wanted most made his insides squirm, he knew that it was for the better. Hoji didn't realize the reality of the situation and was being too damn stubborn for his own health.

The Captain kept his mind busy with the preparations of the coming battle. After having announced that they were going into the fight, the majority of the day was devoted to the preparations. Men sharpened their weapons and swords, and Sano saw many calmly meditating before training and honing their skills. The horses were fed a little less than usual, so as to insure their speed and agility for the upcoming fight -- of course, the animals were still given enough food to be adequately fed.

Sano could never have been more proud and his heart swelled knowing that he would be apart of the War or die trying. He had begun to walk, but stopped abruptly as he discovered that he was unconsciously heading in the direction of Hoji's tent. He turned and veered left instead, pretending that he needed to check up on one of his group leaders.

"Ayako," he said crisply, approaching one of his soldiers.

"Sir." The soldier saluted, and unlike every other member of Sano's army, she was a woman. In fact, Ayako was the only woman in Sano's army and the only one that would probably ever be. Her long black hair was highlighted with many light brown strands, pulled back into a long, sweeping ribbon -- her long bangs often fell into her black eyes. Her talents lay within throwing knives and daggers as well as close-combat, and at times, she reminded Sano of Misao, despite Ayako's serious, monotonous manner.

There was also the fact that Ayako harbored feelings towards Captain Sagara himself, a piece of information known to all the men in Sanosuke's army and Sanosuke himself -- he found it best to overlook this knowledge when talking to her. She also did an awfully well-done job of concealing this, and Sano often forgot entirely.

But perhaps the reason why Captain Sagara let in a woman was because of the state he had found her in. She had been left homeless, penniless, and without family and had the misfortune of attempting to rob Sanosuke of the little money he had at the time. Only after getting to know her did he realize her talents with weapons and her desire to find something to live for.

Drawing himself out of his thoughts, Sanosuke commanded, "We have to go over our plan of action for tomorrow -- get the other leader in my tent within the next five minutes." With that, he began walking away before Ayako could finish her "Yes, Captain Sir."

Moments later, Sano found himself within his tent, the day dying fast with the last bits of daylight glimmering through the soggy canvas of the tent. On either side of him stood Ayako and Matashi, waiting with passive faces for their orders. Because Sano's army was not structured like one of the actual military, he had appointed leaders that helped lead two seperate sections. Sano often received his assistance from his leaders, whether it be for tactical advice or simple commanding orders.

Hoji had been one of the two, but, as Sano thought with a flinch, Hoji proved to be both incapable and unreliable -- Matashi had been given the honor in his place.

"What are your thoughts?" Sanosuke asked inquiringly, his shadow falling over a worn, sketched map of the shores of Canton.

"Sir," Ayako responded promptly, leaning in to point at the map, "According to Matashi's information, the British will attack by ship --" She traced her finger along the black ink lines.

"Now this proves as a disadvantage for us," she continued, "because most of our men have strengths within close combat."

Sanosuke nodded while Matashi remained both wordless and motionless.

"That being the case," Ayako said crisply, "I believe that our best bet is to work our way to close battle. Because they will attack by ship, we can somehow fight our way onto one of the British ships and take it down from the inside. However, we will need a ship, fighting our way onto a ship from land will be quite difficult..."

"I believe Matashi has already taken care of that," Sano commented, turning to the other leader.

"Is that so?" Ayako asked in surprise.

"Yes, it is a Chinese junk ship that I...er...bought off a merchant," Matashi responded, rather in a tone quite unlike his character.

"Very well," Sano interjected, seeing Ayako's mouth opening, "I need both of you to ask who can steer a junk. Assign archers' positions on the ship where you think best."

"Captain," Ayako said forcibly, not attempting to hide her deep frown, "With all due respect, do you have any plan of strategic action?"

Captain Sagara stared back at her blankly, his expression clearly asking the black-haired woman to elaborate.

Ayako half-smiled, understanding the blank look, "Sir, I believe war to be a bit like women. You can't always win them by sheer force. Of course, I'm not implying that women are to be won...However," she smiled, "you have to know how to think like the enemy and know where they're coming from. You lack a woman's touch, Sir." She grinned, the orange glow of the tent glimmering in her black eyes.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he twitched, trying to push aside the emotions fighting to surface. He was unsure of why Ayako's words affected him so much, and he knew that he shouldn't be reacting in this way.

"Well, Ayako, what do you request we do?" Sano asked, keeping his voice as clear as he could.

"The British have to have a blind spot in their ship. I know for a fact that they have a ridiculous amount of sails tied to their masts. We could hide several men within just the material of the sails and work down from the top. ...All we have to do is find other weaknesses and use it to our advantage."

The Captain turned to Matashi, "What do you think?"

Matashi shrugged, "If we can find any other weaknesses."

"I leave it to you two, then," Sano breathed heavily, "I want you to go over the plans with your group and report back any feedback they may have to offer. I want a complete and full meeting tonight before we turn in."

The two nodded, saluted, and bowed, turning their backs to rush forth and tell the others.

* * *

Firelight flickered and danced in the eyes of ten men (and one woman), adding a slight heat to the already humid weather. Blue-black clouds rolled noiselessly overhead, shrouding the half moon with wisps. Horses neighed and stomped restlessly in the background, whilst Captain Sagara's army remained seated before a monstrous fire, the silence indicating that all were waiting for their leader to speak.

Sanosuke faced them, his face calm and ready, standing while the others sat. He could feel the heavy air stick to his skin, and he shifted his position slightly before addressing them,

"Well. Tomorrow's going to be one hell of a day."

There were a few "hear, hear's" that flew among the crowd.

Sanosuke pressed on, "As you know, Matashi's already got us a ship. A war junk, and I believe you all know your jobs. The weapons are ready, I assume?" He arched a brow at Ayako; she nodded in response.

"In which case, if everyone knows what they're going to do, I don't see why we should go over it, as Ayako and Matashi have no doubt countlessly gone over everything."

A few men nodded, while others remained motionless.

"Commissioner Lin believes that China's ships are superior to the British. But I don't believe he knows what he's talking about. He doesn't know what he's up against, which is exactly why we're going in," Sanosuke said, his strong voice ringing through the restless night, confident and prideful enough to silence the horses to quiet huffs. The men (and woman) stared back at their Captain, their eyes concentrated, focused and at the ready.

"We may be wanted...we may have rewards on our heads...but I don't believe that should stop us from wearing _aku_ on our backs. They may know it is us, and they may come after us...but we will not hide in cowardice from them." Sanosuke's eyes reflected the fighting flames in his deep brown eyes, giving notice to the intangible fire that burned within him.

"Of course, we may die...whether it be at the hands of the Chinese government because they are pointlessly after our heads...or whether it be at the hands of the British...there is that chance..." Sano paused; a strange thought had entered his mind: if he died tomorrow, there was someone he'd never be able to talk to again... He mentally shook his head, bringing himself back to the present.

"You all joined me for a reason: to help China demolish opium. Well, here's our chance, and we're going to take it."

The long silenced crowd erupted in a series of cheers and boasts, the effect of Sanosuke's speech filling their veins with a fighting spirit that burned raw through their entire bodies.

Captain Sagara smiled, filled with the content and pride that had been absent for too long. He waited until the ruckus died down, and his soldiers ushered themselves into a dulled silence once more, clearly aware that Sano had one last statement to make.

"Now get some rest."

* * *


	13. clash

Author's Notes: Well, as promised, I returned as soon as I possibly could! This is a decently long chapter, I think...it was 10 pages, so I'll let you readers be the judge. Please don't forget to review, I really would like to know how I'm doing!

Disclaimer: I swear, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

* * *

chap. 13 - clash

Sanosuke woke the next morning after what seemed like only brief moments of sleep. He had slept rather scatteredly the night before, his thoughts far from the present -- his mind was occupied with everything from the upcoming battle to a certain someone that haunted his dreams when he least expected...

He sighed, shaking the cobweb of thoughts from his head, craning his neck back to stare up at the moody sky. In the distance, he could spot wisps of grey-white clouds, heavy and apparent. However, the wind gusted, bringing a thin sheet of sickly green and black to blanket the sky, lolling lazily with the thick, hot air.

He inwardly prayed for no rain, for that would both obscure their vision and prove to be a disadvantage. With this in mind, he walked into his tent, gathering what he needed and putting away what he would come back for.

_If you come back..._

The words had entered his mind before he could process that they had. He was not so sure why he suddenly had a premonition of dread clouding his mind. Did he have regrets, perhaps?

_Yes..._

He was always willing to die, certainly...he was willing to bring down Britian and himself in the process if that was what it took...but suddenly...

_What about her...?_

Ever since his arrival in China, he had accomplished what he had only dreamed of in the past. His army brought him the satisfaction he never could achieve back in Japan, and he was about to fulfill it...

_You can't let yourself die...you still have to..._

...do nothing more, Sanosuke told himself sternly beneath his breath, whispering words that he wanted to hear, but somehow couldn't accept.

He grunted angrily, stuffing his folded futon between his rickety desk and small shelf, haunted by the whiff of _her_ scent that enveloped his nose, enveloped his mind and body the night before as he restlessly slept...

"_Kuso..._" he swore in Japanese, walking out the tent that held memories he wished to push away. Preoccupying himself, he decided to head out to find Giichi before gathering the rest of his soldiers and riding to Canton's shores, where Great Britain waited.

As if reading his mind, Giichi strolled right up to Captain Sagara, limping heavily on his right leg.

"Giichi, just the man I was coming to see," Sanosuke commented, stopping to allow Giichi time to grimace unconvincingly as he walked up to his Captain.

"'Course," Giichi muttered hotly, "'Cause I'm the only one staying behind, that's it. Wasn't even 'round for that _rousing_ speech you made last night..."

"You won't be missing much," Sanosuke replied calmly, running his hand through his hair unnecessarily, "And in case you forgot, you're going to be here with Hoji, so stop whining. Just make sure nothing happens...nothing _should_ happen..."

"Oh sure, rub it in my face," Giichi grumbled scathingly, then began to limp off towards Hoji's tent. Suddenly, he stopped, and turned around again, facing Sanosuke once more.

"Ya know Captain, I don't think you were too hard on Hoji...in fact, I think you were too easy on 'im," he commented, his face grim and serious for once.

Sanosuke stared blankly back at Giichi, unsure of why the injured man was telling him this.

"I'm just saying," Giichi shrugged, "Hoji's been pretty quiet lately, and I know you blew up and punched 'im in the face. I'm just saying that any other person would've lost it sooner...Sir."

Sano nodded.

"I mean, I know I would've thrown 'im out with all the other opium bastards, but you're a good, kind hearted person, so..." Giichi trailed off, an uneasy silence falling between the two men.

"I don't have any regrets," Sanosuke responded abruptly, breaking the stillness with curt, stern words. Turning, he began to walk away, unable to hear the words Giichi said beneath his breath,

"I think you do."

* * *

Sweat had already begun to drip from his temples and form on the back of his neck and lower back, and as logical as it was in the sweltering heat, it made Captain Sagara extremely uncomfortable. He stood before ten other fighters beside his horse, a beautiful chestnut, laden with a rich saddle that slung distinctly over the animal's broad back.

Breathing in one last deep breath, he mounted his horse. Swinging his leg over the saddle, he was the last to mount; as everyone already sat, waiting paciently whilst the horses beneath them fidgeted restlessly, stomping their hooves and neighing indignantly.

As Sanosuke sat atop his horse, there was a hush, and a silence blanketed over the earth -- the trees were noiseless, the wind silenced, and the world held its breath, the stillness spreading like an infectious disease with a serene touch. Even the horses suddenly hushed, waiting with a bated air for what was to come next.

The stillness shattering, Sanosuke spurred his horse into action, tugging at the reins and feeling the animal rear backwards, the haunches instinctively flexing as it then moved forward, galloping steadily.

A pounding filled the air as ten other horses followed, dusted soil flying upwards beneath the beating hooves. The noise was bellowing and abruptly, but politely, interrupted the hush that had been present just moments before.

The single character of _aku_ danced on the backs of the eleven fighters, swarming through the city of Canton to reach the shore of the Pearl River. The barage of horses stormed through the narrow streets, causing pedestrians and rickshaws alike to flatten themselves against the walls of neighboring shops to avoid being trampled.

Sanosuke thought he could hear the faint "booms" and crashes that emitted from the shoreline, but perhaps it was only the hot blood pounding through his veins. Nevertheless, it seemed ironic that within the city, there was little evidence that a battle was occurring and that a war was beginning.

Upon reaching the end of the streets, the path opened up, wider and more spacious. In the distance, Captain Sagara could definitely hear the bellow of cannon fire and the crack of gunshots. He nudged his horse onward, spurring the animal to run faster. In doing so, he narrowly avoided a cloaked woman who stood at the edge of the port with a hood drawn about her head. She moved hastily out of the way, and Sanosuke and his army rode on.

He halted his chestnut to a stop, digging his heels into the soft flesh of the horse's underside and practically jumped off. Two feet hit heavy wooden planks that were drawn over rippling water. He slapped the flanks of his chestnut, and the horse whinnied, galloping off the port into safer and unknown ground. His army followed suit. And now, with the battle only a hundred feet or less away, it had become apparent now, the sight clear before their very eyes.

Britain's ships were indeed masted with a ridiculous amount of sails, scarcely directed in the feeble wind. However, what the steel ship lacked in intimidation, it clearly made up with its weaponry. Numerous and impressive cannons hung from the sides of the ship, smoke wafting from the dark opening that held lethal, heavy cannon balls. Aboard the three British ships (from what Sano could count, there were three in his line of vision), foreigners cursed and commanded in an unknown tongue, bellowing in an angry tone only outmatched by those of the Chinese themselves.

A dark cloud hung over the scene, provoked by the amount of gunfire and cannon fire ensuing between the opposite sides, drifting above in an ominous cloud.

Sanosuke was now sweating profusely, both the heat and the excitement contributing quite equally. His heart beat in his chest along with each gunshot, and he whirled around to face his army, prepared to shout out orders in a loud voice in order to be heard above the ruckus.

The noise was deafening, and Sanosuke was quite unaware of Ayako's presence until she was less than two feet in front of him.

"What is it!" he bellowed, quite irritated at her sudden appearance -- he was about to tell them to board the ship.

She remained silent, and Sanosuke wildly and suddenly realized that she did not have her usual stern composure pasted on her face. It was as if her expression had drooped, and there was an unusual amount of emotion and compassion hidden in her deep, black eyes.

And without warning, she leaned forward, pressing her entire body against his and placing her lips on his, kissing him fully and forcefully. Startled, Sanosuke's mind shut down, wondering flusteredly why she was doing this...but then remembered her feelings toward him... He didn't fight her off, and he could taste the salt from his sweat (or hers? -- his mind was doing back-flips).

As if in convenience, the battle had quieted, perhaps because the British needed to reload their cannons. Whatever the case, among the muffled sounds of the fight, Sanosuke registered a few wolf-whistles sounded by a few of his men. Still a few stared away pointedly while others gazed open-mouthed and open-eyed -- they, just like Sanosuke, were surprised at her sudden bearing of heart.

She broke away, and Sano swore, even with the pounding of the ships and the yells of men, he could hear her whisper:

"Don't forget her."

Before thinking he had imagined it, the words were snatched by a sudden wind, blown away into the whirlpool of the Opium War.

Time had slowed...he watched mindlessly as Ayako regained her usual monotony, and strictly ordered the men onto the Chinese war junk, floating in the dark depths of the river, bound to land by a mere piece of thick rope. He understood, confusingly, why Ayako had done what she had done -- to remind him that he could not die...for if he did...there was someone he would not be able to see again...and there would be words left unsaid. Yet there was the frustration of the situation. How the _hell_ did every damn person know about his personal life?

"Sir, are you going to stand there like a moron or get on the ship!" Ayako yelled, tugging on the rope twisted around a wooden pike.

He couldn't help it -- he broke into a smile and hopped onto the war junk, feeling the boat pitch as without warning, his weight was added to an end.

"You did well, Matashi," Sanosuke commented, referring to the war junk's condition, "So well that I'm not even going to ask how many people you bribed to get this..." Matashi scowled lightly in response.

Indeed the ship was impressive for the day and age they were in. The sails were dyed red, though Sano could see that the color was beginning to fade, whether it be through old age or worn sea-travels, the reason was quite unimportant. The heavy material of the sails were slung about heavy bamboo slats, much like an elegant fan of an emperess, and could be masted just as easily as one, for thick ropes bound to the ends were tied with expertise to hold the sails tautly into place.

Made of wood and thin and agile, there were iron plates casted to the sides of the hull, molded so a stern and uninviting stake reached out with a pointed end, apparently useful for ramming other boats. _If we have the ability to do that..._ Sanosuke thought.

His men (and of course, one woman) were already scrambling about, pulling what Sano thought to be random ropes here and there and reaching down at the long, plated oars to encourage the boat into the rippling waters of the Pearl River.

However, it seemed that his army wasn't as unknowledgable as he would have thought, for when the Captain turned around next, he saw the monotonous Matashi at the ship's large, wooden wheel, calmly yelling orders as if this were the sort of thing he handled everyday. Sanosuke inwardly blessed Matashi for his usefulness.

They began to move, the dark depths of the water beneath them swirling in response. They glided easily through the water, slicing the liquid as they headed towards the battle, and the noise became even louder as they approached.

"Do we have cannons on this piece of crap!" Sanosuke barked, ignoring Matashi's hushed comment that sounded something like, "So much for a good job finding a good boat..."

"No Sir!" came a voice, and Sanosuke had no time to discover who had responded nor had time to mutter a curse, for the shadow of a large ship was suddenly casted over what now seemed like their ridiculously small war junk. The curved words that spelled _Wellesley_ took the Captain a few moments to register the foreign letters as the ship's name, but it was more than obvious that it belonged to the British.

There was no time to hesitate. "Alright, you all know what the hell to do, so let's move it!" Sanosuke boomed, just as another cannon shot off. The Captain paused for a moment, watching the iron blur sail effortlessly through the air, and landing squarely on its target -- on another small, Chinese junk.

There was a sickening crunch and the harried yells and bellows of many men as they either jumped out of the ship just in time or felt pain as the cannon ball contacted with wood. The weapon broke through the boat easily and shattered the wooden plates and bamboo slats without problem, the fragile ship falling to pieces. In an instant, Sanosuke swore he saw a familliar face, but figured it was only his mind playing tricks on him as the water rippled violently beneath the junk, sending waves of destroyed boards and what Sanosuke believed to be the dark crimson color of blood slithering through the quivering river.

He shuddered slightly, then turned as he saw his army drawing arrows back in their bows, tied to sturdy rope that lay in coils at their feet. They released the surpressed energy, and the arrows shot to life, their pointed ends piercing through the thin sails of the British ship and finding its mark high up in the masts.

Sanosuke followed suit, and before they began to lift themselves up the newly drawn lines, he spoke to them, "We don't murder, we're just here to win!"

Blood pounded violently in his ears, making him deaf to almost everything but his surroundings. Hoisting himself upwards, he felt his arms tense as he pulled his own weight upwards.

The muscles in his arms felt as though they might fall off from the sheer effort of lifting his weight, but he held on with his temples throbbing, the world falling smaller beneath him...Bullets whizzed past, presumably aimed at them, but each failed to hit its mark...

He was quite unaware of his army around him, and began to concentrate on himself. His mouth had gone dry and he swallowed what seemed to be a lump of sandpaper, gulping in air as he grunted one last time, heaving himself onto a rough, thick pole of the sail's mast. He fought for balance, adjusting his feet and hands to ensure he didn't plummet hundreds of feet into cold water...

Unintentionally, he glanced downwards, and suddenly felt dizzy at the altitude at which he was standing. He could make out the bodies of British fighters, running about to fill cannons with powder or to grab another weapon.

Tearing himself from staring, he looked around to find his army standing with him, hidden artfully in the folds of the sails.

There was a pause.

"NOW!" he bellowed as loud as he could, and began his descent downwards with ten other fighters at his side, flying with graceful skill towards the ship's deck.

Each fighter deftly hit the wooden deck with agile flexibility, and Sanosuke immediately dodged a musket butt flying towards him. The weapon grazed past his side, and he could feel the rush of air following the forceful attack. In a reflex, the Captain pulled his hands up into fists in front of him and charged the man who had attacked him, feeling his fist contact with the man's abdomen and sending him sprawling a few feet away.

He could hear the yells and attacks of his fighters, but they seemed a world away...

Gunshot after gunshot filled the air, grey cloud after grey cloud followed the last into the already desolate sky...

Crack. Sanosuke bellowed as his kick hit his opponent's ribs, sending the Britain into a howl of pain. Boom. Sano hit the gun away from the man, the weapon flying over the edge and splashing into the depths of the Pearl River. Twang. The British man pulled a sabre gracefully from its sheath, brandishing it before him in an attempt to intimidate Sano.

Gleaming in the shine of the long sabre, Sanosuke saw the reflections of his army and the British, locked in a battle that was hard to call...

But he did not have long to pause, and before he knew it, the sharp weapon came flying at him, and he fought to dodge it.

A moment too late.

And it pierced his flesh, digging through his uniform and forming a deep gash on his left side, crimson blood flowing from the wound.

He grimaced in pain.

The sabre came again.

This time, he caught it between his hands, feeling the tip scratch into his skin and draw blood. With his right leg, he flung a kick at his opponent's hands and gained posession of the sabre, tossing it into the river. He threw a punch, and felt the body grow limp against him.

Beside him, he could see Ayako and Matashi fight off their opponent with a look of determination and unfaltering courage.

It was as if he wasn't himself...

Adrenaline coursing through his veins, he fought off a man who had an intention of double-teaming against one of his men. The man apparently had experience with hand-to-hand combat, for Sano had to narrowly avoid a knowledgeful punch. Blocking with his left, Sanosuke felt his knuckles grasp thin air as his _opponent's_ punch came digging deep into his own abdomen.

He felt the metallic, bitter taste of blood in his mouth, coating his tongue in a felt blanket that he spit out with contempt, glaring at the Britain who only smirked in response.

What followed next was hard to tell.

A kick, punch, whirl, and spin. A gunshot that found itself deep in Sanosuke's right leg, erupting in firey pain that struck like white-hot needles with the devil's bite. A kick that bruised the Britain. Black and blue painted across the sky. Red painted across the ground, flowing, ebbing, slithering. Weapons flying. Points and blunts that strike, find, fall...

Coated in sweat, Sanosuke panted, and suddenly found himself pushed against the edge of the steel boat, the sharp corner biting into his skin. A few feet away, a bang thundered, sending man-made puffs of smoke drifting into the air in a thick layer.

Sanosuke heard a familiar voice in what seemed like years -- Matashi was yelling at the Captain, "Sir, get out of there! That's a smoke bomb!"

The thought barely registered in his mind as Sano staggered away, pushing the man he was fighting into the mess. Coughing, his eyes began to water, and nausea floated dreamily into his consciousness, the smell of war and death overwhelming him...

And then it all came falling on him...

...as a heavy pole from the masts came tumbling from the sails.

A heavy, striking pain in the back of his head.

And then...

Nothing more.


	14. falling

Author's Notes: I'm back! I am extremely sorry. My apologies can only be expressed through my words of this chapter. Please ENJOY! Please REVIEW to tell me how I'm doing. Thank you so much to my reviewers and readers! Your support gets me through! I hope you all like it...

Disclaimer: Sadly, RK is not mine to own.

* * *

chap. 14 - falling

_He was falling through a dark hole that had no bottom... Faults and demons fought within him, fighting to surface, but he could barely remember where he was and what was happening._

_There was no light._

_Foggy recollections and blurred images swam around him in a confusing dance that made him dizzy._

_He fell..._

_Faster and faster still..._

_Spinning and spinning and falling..._

_Awaken._

* * *

Prickles of green and blue dots exploded beneath his closed eyelids, and he fought the warm pain trembling at the back of his head. Coming to, he felt dazed and unaware, unable to remember...

_What...?_

Gently, slowly, and painfully, he creaked his eyes open; however, only a black world greeted him.

There was no light.

_What...?_

Confused, he blinked again, and the green and blue lights flashed, then diminished as his eyes strained to see. He was enveloped in a pure, pitch darkness he could find no end to, and he struggled to find the slightest hint of a crack, a crevice, a shadow.

Panic welled inside him, a thousand questions flooding his mind and sending his pounding head upward, alive with the vigorous rush of blood that filled him with nausea.

The surface beneath him felt warm and comfortable, but sticky and sickly. Trying hard to concentrate, he squinted, but still could not see a thing.

"Calm down," came a voice, distant and soft, "It's okay."

His head turned sharply in an attempt to locate the voice, but he was only greeted with darkness.

"Lie back down, Sano. Your body can't take too much stress." The voice spoke again, with a vague familiarity that sent goosebumps crawling on his skin.

Sano. Sanosuke. Yes, that was his name. Memories and recollections came swarming at him in a rush, and suddenly he knew who he was and what had happened and who that voice belonged to...

"Megumi." Not a question or statement, but a single word ushered from his mouth with bitter-sweet honey that stung his soul.

"Lie back," she repeated, not acknowledging his recognition.

He obeyed, slowly leaning backwards with uneasy precaution. His mind felt clouded and full, stuffed with a confusion he couldn't sort.

"Why is it so dark?" A simple, innocent question filled with a mere curiosity.

"It isn't." A reply short of impatience.

"I -- But --"

A hesitation and a buzz that filled the air with millions of invisible, intangible emotions, stifling the thickened air.

"Sano --" The hesitation again. "You lost your vision."

He thought he had gone deaf. "What?"

"You're blind. You were struck with something on the back of your head. Add the gunshot on your leg and the blade wound on your side, and your body was almost incapable of handling the stress." Her voice was quiet and mechanical, and he could not place the emotion laced with her words.

Yet he could not swallow her words, couldn't understand them. Not here, not now. Too much was being thrown at him like a storm of speeding bullets. Where was he among the chaos? With difficulty, raspy words left through his gritted teeth,

"For how long? Am I to be blind for the rest of my life...for a week, a month, a year?"

Pause. "I don't know."

Something caught in his throat, and he remained silent. Until...

"How?...How am I here? Where _is_ here?" A sudden urgency told him he needed to know, and the odd silence was no comfort.

"Your men," she replied in compliance, "They saw you knocked unconscious and bleeding severely so they abandoned the fight and found me. I wasn't going to treat you, but..." She trailed off and retreated to the black world that surrounded him.

"And where are we?" He stared at where he thought she was sitting.

"At my home. We're still in Canton."

"Where are my men?" His throat burned with thirst, but he chose to ignore it.

"They are all here, in my home," she responded mechanically, "You have been out for a good three days, and I have spent that time treating them as well as you."

He could not see her face, but he was sure it was full of bitter sorrow and apathy. Biting his lip, he asked one last question, "Can I go to my men?"

"No," she answered, "But they may visit you." He heard her stand up, the ruffled edges of her kimono rustling in the silence. He felt the muffled vibrations of her footsteps pound against the wooden floor. Slowly, the sound diminished, and he was left with himself.

* * *

"Captain," a familiar, deep voice echoed in the caverns of his swarming mind. The floor beneath Sanosuke trembled with fierce vibrations as many other presences added to the voice.

Grimacing, Sano slowly sat up, feeling the soft, cotton covers crumpling in his lap. Briefly, he rested his head in his hand, leaning heavily into his palm before looking up at his men.

Giichi, the voice, flinched as his Captain looked up. The Captain's eyes were filled with an eerie emptiness, a blank, glazed-over look that made him avoid his stare. Mingled with his original eye color of brown, a milky-white was subtly mixed in, as if someone had spilled a glass of milk in his eyes and had forgotten to wipe up the running mess. Giichi recovered and shifted his broken leg to a more comfortable position.

"Report, Giichi." The Captain's voice came succinct and business-like, strictly getting to the point.

"Sir?" Giichi started, unsure of what the Captain was asking for.

"Report on the war, Giichi. Casualties, deaths, current events, and progress." Captain Sagara blinked, his gaze fixed on some faraway place.

Giichi did not reply right away, but instead waited with a bated breath, all the while wishing he were not the one to tell the Captain everything that had happened. He looked hopelessly about him at his fellow companions, and they stared back with sympathetic glances.

"We...China lost the war, Sir," Giichi uttered slowly, "We were beaten very badly, Sir. Great Britain's warships far out-matched our junks, and Commissioner Lin took Great Britain too lightly. We were crushed."

"Crushed?" echoed Sano.

"Yessir. A little after we left the battlefield, the battle was over."

"And why did you leave in the first place!" Sano asked angrily, suddenly irritated with Giichi's lack of pride, "That was strictly against orders, and --"

"With all due respect...Captain," Giichi interjected loudly, forcefully, "I wasn't there, and from what I heard, you weren't in a position to be giving orders, and..." Giichi trailed off uncomfortably.

Sanosuke felt the hesitation, and something told him Giichi wasn't revealing all. Blinking furiously, he suddenly wished he could _see_ Giichi and the rest of his men to make his oncoming lecture more effective...

"Sir..." Giichi whispered softly.

Maybe it was Giichi's sincerity or lack of flattery and sarcasm. Or maybe it was because of the abrupt and extremely somber atmosphere that had settled. Whatever the case, Sanosuke lost all thoughts of anger and closed his eyes as he strained his ears to listen.

"Blood was everywhere, Sir," Giichi began, "Or so I was told. But when I got to the battle, it was no exaggeration."

"And why were you there in the first place?" Sano interrupted, not understanding how Giichi could possibly know if he had been at the camp with Hoji the entire time...

"Please, Sir," Giichi responded quietly, "Just let me tell you what's been happening."

Grudgingly, Sanosuke remained silent and tried to imagine the empathetic expression on Giichi's face that may have matched his tone of voice.

There was a pause as Giichi put his thoughts together, then spoke,

"Hoji was restless the moment you all left for the battle at Pearl River. He kept insisting he was fine, and that he wanted to fight. I told him, No, he couldn't, and that he would be going against your orders if he went to fight.

"'To hell with orders,' he said to me, his face flushed with anger. He stumbled on his feet and began to hobble towards a horse.

"I tried to stop him, Sir, I truly did, but he pulled a handgun he must've kept hidden somewhere and threatened to blow my brains out. He actually pointed the thing at me and cocked it, that damn bastard."

Giichi stopped, as if remember what happened next, and Sano offered no comments.

"I followed him, though," Giichi continued, "I saddled myself a horse and rode through the city following him, my right leg 'bout ready to fall off.

"I don't know how the hell he did it, but that stubborn ass actually got a junk and joined the battle.

"I stood there and watched, dumbfounded and lost for any thought or common sense that would tell me what to do. I couldn't go after him -- there were no ships left -- and I sure as hell couldn't fight myself.

"It was painful to watch. I stood there and watched Great Britain beat the crap outta us. It was a gruesome defeat, and it was a violent battle. The nosie was incredible, and the cannons shattered our defenses as if they were paper dolls. Blood was everywhere, in the river and on debris, and it painted our hulls red. Later I was told that our army was not only fighting the British, but we were also fighting sections of the Chinese soldiers who recognized us as the wanted army.

"But a little after, the ship Matashi had gotten us floated toward shore, shakily bouncing off the port before they got it tied properly.

"And then they carried you off-board, Sir, and you sure as hell weren't a pretty sight -- a gunshot wound, a sabre cut, and a nasty size lump on the back of your head that was turning an abnormal greenish-yellow color. You were losing blood fast, and everyone was in a panic.

"Well, bless Kami-_sama_, we found exactly the right person. Call it fate or call it luck, I say you're one damn lucky bastard..." There was a pause. "Sorry Sir.

"But we found your lady friend. That doctor. She was standing there on the port watching us and the battle. We told our situation, and she didn't seem too happy, but she agreed to treat you.

"So that's how we came to be here. But the moment we got here, there were three people we couldn't find: Matashi, Ayako...and Hoji, Sir.

"We soon realized Ayako had been captured by Chinese army officials, and she was scheduled for execution. We formed a small rescue party and went to try and rescue her, but we failed.

"They found us, Sir, and forced us to watch as they marched Ayako to the execution block. They made us watch her kneel. They made us watch her lean forward. And they made us watch as the blade fell and ended her life."

A small stab of pain entered Sano's heart as he remembered her last words to him, the words that had forced him to remember. But he did not say anything.

"However," Giichi kept talking, "she never once flinched, and she died with honor. We expected the government to kill us or imprison us, but instead they let us go, pushing us to the ground as they laughed and mocked us, telling us this is what they did to betraying pigs. To them, it became a sort of man-hunt -- and they gave us a sort of lead."

Anger tore at Sanosuke's being, and an overwhelming sadness stifled the bellow he wished to unleash. He choked and knew there was more -- Giichi had not even mentioned Matashi and Hoji's fate yet.

As if reading his mind, Giichi began to speak again, this time his voice shaking, "Matashi died in battle, as did Hoji. They both refused to leave the battlefield, and as a result...well... Don't get mad at us for being cowards, Sir. We did what we thought was right, and Matashi and Hoji did what they stubbornly wanted to do. Other than those three..." Giichi gulped, finding his voice, "deaths, there were only casualties. Yours being the most severe. As a whole, Commissioner Lin has been dismissed from his post as Imperial Commissioner and exiled. That is all." Giichi finished, his throat parched and scratchy, an uneasy expression plastered on his face.

There was a long silence. Nobody spoke; nobody moved. It was not that time had stopped, but that it had slowed. So much so that a second seemed like a century, and two seemed like an eternity.

Then...

"Leave," Sanosuke breathed quietly.

"What?" Giichi replied, flabbergasted, unsure of what he had just heard. Behind him, there were murmurs of incredulous disbelief.

"You heard me," Sano said, the darkness seemingly becoming darker to him, "I am no Captain. Who the hell was I kidding when I started this? My dreams? Damn, it's my dreams that's getting everyone hurt or killed." His voice never rose above a whisper, and the images of Hoji, Matashi, Ayako, and...Megumi all came to mind.

"B-but Sir --" Hoji stuttered.

"Don't call me 'Sir.'" Sanosuke responded forcefully, "Or 'Captain' or any other title of respect. I am no leader, and I'm especially not yours."

His voice died in the shadows that surrounded him, but he knew they were all standing there, unsure of what to do.

"So leave," Sanosuke repeated quietly, "Leave China, leave here, leave Canton. You're all wanted criminals now, so better to split up. Start over again in a place where no one knows you and where no one can find you. Leave my foolish mistake here and --"

"Run away?" came a voice, "You're telling us to run?"

"No," Sano responded, "Just leave your past behind you."

"What? Like you?" Giichi asked with a slightly hurt voice reeking with sarcasm, "I heard your story and why you left Japan. You want us all to be fools and follow in your footsteps?"

Sanosuke knew Giichi was hurt, but tried not to acknowledge it, "Do what you want."

There was that silence again, before Sanosuke cleared his throat and spoke, "Listen, it's not that I'm giving up --"

"Damn well sounds like you are."

Sanosuke ignored the words, "I don't want anyone else hurt...and I don't want to make any more mistakes. I'm done. We all knew we'd have to part ways, and believe me, I didn't want it to be now. But you have to know when enough is enough...And we have been through enough. No one should have to go through what we have experienced, but we can't do anything about that now. All we can do is rectify our mistakes with bigger accomplishments, and you all will never do that if you stay with me.

"So out of hard love and respect, I'm telling you all to go. Take my advice and our experiences and put them to good use."

Sano had no idea if they were listening to him, but when he heard a forced sigh, he knew they had drank in every word.

"Fine," someone said, "Sounds reasonable to me. But Sano, you can't always avoid mistakes and the past can't always be buried. So..." The man walked up to his former-Captain and fell to his knees, sinking in a low bow that Sano could not see, but could feel with every one of his other senses.

The man rose, his voice prideful and memorable, and he uttered his last words to Sano: "As you say in Japan: I say _sayonara_ and _arigato gozaimasu_ to my Captain."

Each man, in turn, did the same until there was silence once again, and every one of them had shuffled out, walking out of Sanosuke's life for forever...

...or at least until the bloody sun of war set, and the night of peace blanketed them, bringing them together once again.

* * *

Within the next few days, every one of Sanosuke's former soldiers had recovered and packed up, and the steady trickle of men crossed across the threshold of the outside world and never returned. They did not say another farewell to their Captain, for they knew that their good-bye's had long since been uttered.

And pretty soon, only Sanosuke remained, lying on the same bed that he had awoken in, feeling better after a couple of days. He still could not see, but physically, he was recovering. Megumi only appeared to him when she dressed his wounds or brought him food, but even then, she did not say a word. And he made no move to initiate any sort of conversation. He needed his time, to gather his thoughts and to gather his feelings, and knew she needed the same.

On one such occasion when Megumi sat by his side, she spoke the first words that she had spoken in a long time, "You were a little harsh, don't you think?" Her tone was even and compressed, and Sanosuke could tell she was doing a good job suppressing her true thoughts.

He felt her hand on his side, tightly wrapping his closing wound. He smiled a faint smile at the face he could not see and took his time to respond, "What are you talking about?"

She pulled at the cloth, knocking the air out of him, "Your men. You simply kicked them out without reason."

"I had a reason."

"None that I could see. Except perhaps that you were afraid of your mistakes."

"I was."

She knotted the bandage.

"I am."

She rinsed her hands out in a basin at her side, then wiping them dry on her kimono. She was silent again.

Several more days passed, and the same happened. No words passed between them; he was recovering, she was quiet. But every time Sanosuke heard a thump resonate across the room, his heart jumped and his eyes quivered, still straining to see what was no longer visible to him -- hoping in a screaming silence that it would be her coming back to talk to him.

But it never was.

* * *


	15. pieces

Author's Notes: So sorry. I admit, I do not look forward to this fic coming to a close. But alas, I cannot prolong it any longer. I'm still considering the ending, and it is in the works. For now, here is Chapter 15. It is a little on the short side, but I hope the occurances in this chapter make up for its length. Please continue to review, I love your reviews to no end.

Disclaimer: Nopes.

* * *

chap. 15 - pieces

Pretty soon, Sanosuke had gained back enough strength so that he could stand on his feet. However, he was still weakened enough that he could not walk for an extended amount of time, but he could still manage his way across the room and back -- not that he could see where he was walking.

Life without vision had stripped Sano of what he had always assumed would always be there. No longer could he see the vibrant colors of a room or of his own flesh, but always he was enveloped in a darkness that made his eyes sting with soreness. Whenever he awoke, he squinted, half-expecting to open his eyes to a bright tent filled with yellow sunshine. But always it was black.

Often times the blankness made him feel like he could not hear either. Like someone had turned off his eyes and ears. But he knew he could hear. He just could not see.

The first time a meal was placed before him, it took a good amount of time for him to distinguish where his chopsticks were, where his bowl was, and where his tea was.

But the robbing of one of his senses made his other ones keener. His sense of hearing, for example, was heightened, and he began to notice the pettiest sounds that he would normally not acknowledge. He also relied on his sense of touch, and began to practice walking, by feeling his way across the room.

The long days he took to recover gave him plenty of time to think and to recollect memories. Knowing that he was in the house of the woman he had turned away so often brought a weight on his heart, regrets stinging deep. There were times he sat on his futon, thinking of what he would have said to Hoji, not able to accept that he was gone.

One night, he woke up from a nightmare that took him seconds to realize it was no nightmare, but a memory... He had said to himself, shortly before he left to fight, that he would apologize to his friend. For hitting him, for blaming him. But now...he was gone, and the only time Sanosuke would ever say his heart-lifting words would be in Hell or Heaven. He had never felt such a wrenching pain tear at his heart.

Combined with current events, his thoughts on Megumi were no help. He wanted so badly to say something, to make the heavy silence lift. He wanted so badly to take her heart and make it light again...knowing fully well that her heart was cold and heavy, just as his.

Long after she had taken away the remnants of his dinner, he found he could not sleep and began to restlessly pace the room in his darkness, lost in the whirls of his mind and the cold night. Outside, it had begun to rain again; rain especially hard. The torrents of pounding rain bellowed on the roof of the house, thunder screaming across the sky, muffled by the four walls enclosing him.

He reached a wall, then paused, hearing vibrations reverberate across the room, not like the sounds of the rain. Immediately, he sensed a presence, and immediately, the same pounding of pain shrieked in his being. She was standing there, in the doorway, observing him with the same cold stare he could imagine on her face. He knew she stood there, in her blue kimono. Her cheeks would be tender with old tears, and her hair would be a mess, tangled and tussled from sleepless nights. He knew her forehead would be creased with stress and pain.

All this he could imagine, and he knew to be true.

She was suffering.

And he knew he was the cause.

His head hung bowed, and he stood there silently. Slowly, his lips moved, penetrating the darkness, a slow whisper ushered in a faintest tone that barely made its way to her. "_Gomen..._"

She stiffened; he could feel it. She didn't know he knew she was there; he could sense it.

With a detached sort of voice, she replied wryly, "You think that's all it takes?"

It was his turn to be quiet. "I don't know. I don't know what else to do. I don't know what I can do."

"And what do you know?" Her tone resonated with a slight sneer that struck a needle in his heart.

That darkness again. He lifted his head up, hearing the thunder crack across the sky, hearing the walls creak and groan with the merciless winds.

"It's not easy," her voice uttered, low and freezing cold, sending shivers up his spine, "I was humiliated and wrongly accused. I died that day, Sanosuke. When your men found me on that port, I had planned on leaving Canton, going back to Japan, and forgetting you. I was only deterred by the battle. I didn't plan on returning here. But yet, I'm here, standing across from you, of all people. You, the person I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but now I know otherwise." She paused and walked closer to him, standing by the wall and remaining a good three feet away from him.

His ears buzzed with the sound of rain.

"I thought I would be happy when I found you. I never thought I would find you. But I did, and guess wut? I'm not happy. I'm torn and broken. You're immature and unreliable. You won't open up to me, won't even tell me why you left Japan in the first place --"

Her words were abruptly cut short as he advanced in one sweeping motion, his arms on either side of her. He felt his hands pound against the wall, trapping her in front of him. He leaned in, pressing every part of him against her, and he felt her tremble beneath him. Her warmth emanated from her body, pressed against the hard wall. His mouth moved to her ear, whispering quiet words that were almost lost in the next crack of thunder.

_"You want to know why I left? I was never going to tell you, because you were never meant to know. But you want to know so badly. So listen carefully. And know."_

* * *

_The day was exceptionally sunny. Bright sunshine tinkled across the sky, blinding one immediately with the vibrant blue that held not a speck of cloud in its grasp. _

_Sanosuke was in a good mood. He whistled cheerfully as he strolled down the dirt pathway, on his way to a local teahouse, where he had promised Megumi he would meet her. Unfortunately, he had left later than he had anticipated, and in his mind's eye, he could see her scowling impatience, already seated and waiting for him, cursing his tardiness._

_But he kept his moderate pace, knowing fully well he was keeping his Fox waiting. He laughed out loud at her seriousness towards him and shook his head._

_Upon reaching the half-way mark between where he had left and his destination, he was stopped. Immediately, he could sense the heavy cloud of grim countenances; stern faces surrounded him with a foreboding effect, but he kept his head cool, stopping with a lax expression and allowing his hands to find their way into his pockets, slouching half-heartedly. _

_Surrounding him (whether intentionally or no) were the police force of Kyoto. Among their company was Saitoh, the former Shinsen Gumi captain, leading the pack of Japan's most elite secret police, staring at Sanosuke with the upmost of contempt. The last person in the world Sanosuke wanted to see, the pale skinned, dark-haired man stood directly in front of Sanosuke, while his men kept him within their grasp._

_"Well, Sagara, it looks as if you're going to have to come with us," Saitoh breathed softly, lethally, without a word of explanation._

_Sanosuke smirked at the former-captain, cocking his head mockingly to one side before replying with equal cunningness, "Sorry to disappoint you, but you're going to have to go to the bottom of my to-do list." Those words being said, Sanosuke straightened from his slouch and began to step forward, only to have the ring of police authorities tighten the circle surrounding him._

_Sano's eyebrows raised inquiring at the nearest officer, and he turned to Saitoh, "I believe your men are deaf as well as stupid; I'm not going anywhere with you."_

_Saitoh chuckled softly, his arms folding behind his back. He walked up to the brown-haired fighter, his expression unreadable as he leaned in uncomfortably close, breathing words meant only for Sanosuke's ears, "I suggest you don't put up a fight...or your lady friend waiting in the teahouse will be in for a surprise when we show up looking for her." Saitoh arched back, pulling away as he stared, amused, at the steely expression on Sanosuke's face._

_"You black-mailing bastard," Sanosuke whispered in reply. Grudgingly, he held up his hands in a sign of surrender, glaring at the former captain with a look of murder in his eyes. Saitoh smiled maliciously at this and beckoned his men to follow him, Sano in tow._

_They reached an unmarked building, and the officers dragged Sanosuke inside. The inner chambers were no more welcoming than the inside of a cavern. Dark, dank, and constricting, Sanosuke would have much preferred being interrogated (for whatever reason) outside rather than in. However, it was soon proven that he had no say in the matter as he was shoved into a nearby chair, watched with sharp eyes by the men following Saitoh._

_"Whatever the hell it is, I didn't do it," Sanosuke fumed as he glared at Saitoh. The leader of the secret police only smirked knowingly in return, pulling a match towards an unlighted cigarette dangling precariously between his lips. The flare of the flame briefly illuminated the high cheek bones of the former Shinsen Gumi captain, as well as the sneering stare._

_"Guilty conscience, Sagara?" The tip of the cigarette burned a brilliant orange before dulling, and Saitoh inhaled deeply, expelling the white puffs of smoke into the air in one breath. Leaning on a wall and taking one last cold glare at Sano, Saitoh began to speak,_

_"Believe it or not, _baka_, you're not here for you. You know a Megumi Takani well, do you not?"_

_There was a pause, as Sanosuke forced himself through the confusion bubbling in his mind, "What does she have anything to do with police business?"_

_Another drag, another cloud of smoke. "Much. We are well aware that she has been...ah, shall we say, _tangled_, with the very dangerous, very complicated business of opium. It seems that she previously produced an extremely deadly form of the drug for the entrepreneur, Kanryu Takeda."_

_"She was dropped of those charges."_

_Saitoh smirked, the cigarette quivering. "Ah, but only by a petty, local officer. We are no unknown authority figure, Sagara, we investigate these crimes in detail. Whether or not she was arrested at the same moment as Kanryu is hardly the matter. Further speculation dictates that her actions were undeniably illicit and constitutes an arrest. You're only here to confirm so we can make that arrest. Sadly, without a witness's statement that confirms our suspicion, we can't take any sort of immediate action."_

_Sanosuke's mind was in a whirlwind. _What? Why now?_ Of all times...she had lived out her life determined to make amends, and at that very moment, it amounted to nothing._

_"You are thinking that this has all been in the past and should have been forgotten. I agree, but this was no small crime that we can merely push to the side. There have to be consequences, Sagara." The dark-haired man pulled the cigarette from his lips with two fingers, tapping the burning ashes away. "So save yourself the trouble at tell us she was the one who made the opium, and you're free to go where ever your heart desires."_

_But she doesn't go free... Sano weighed the chances, considered the possibilities. _She was coerced into making it..._Sano thought, _She may have made it, but it wasn't of her free will...she shouldn't have to pay...that price was already paid by Kanryu. They have their main man, why won't they leave her alone?

_"We're waiting."_

_"It wasn't her." The words left his mouth fluidly._

_"Excuse me?"_

_"It was me."_

_Saitoh emerged from the wall, staring intently at Sanosuke, trying to read the expression that had briefly flickered across the figher's face. "You're taking the blame for her, aren't you?"_

_Sanosuke said nothing._

_"You're going to have to run that by me again."_

_"I take full responsibility. Don't arrest her, arrest me. It wasn't her."_

_Mildly surprised, Saitoh took one last breath from his cigarette before dropping it to the ground, crushing the smothered ashes with his heel. "You understand, Sagara, that we are now going to take this time to arrest you. If you know what's good for you, come quietly." From the corners of his eyes, Sanosuke could spot the men advancing on him._

_It was now Sano broke from his calm, stolid expression, his lips curving into an amused smile, "Oh, but who says I'll come quietly?" Jumping from his seat, he side-stepped, getting a grip on the chair as he flung it at the nearest officer. Amidst the ruckus, Sanosuke could make out Saitoh's command: "Don't let him get away." Somewhere in the back of his mind, Sano wondered why Saitoh's tone was so calm...but then again, it was Saitoh._

_A uniformed man came tumbling towards him with a sword and a fist. Ducking downwards, Sanosuke tripped him and went messily sprawling towards the exit of the building. _

Please don't let them have guns..._Sanosuke thought wildly, urging his feet to move. He knew that he would stand no chance in getting away if they began shooting at him. He wouldn't be able to get pass that kind of ammunition. _

_His heart pounded without mercy, and he squinted at the sudden change of lighting -- he found himself outside, standing before the busy street. Looking back, he saw that strangely, no one had followed him. Saitoh was playing a game. _

_Thinking Saitoh had a trick up his sleeve, Sano took the long way towards the Aoiya, through the busiest and most crowded paths. Saitoh would have most likely have every back alley prowling with his officers, and Sanosuke was in no mood to be caught. Slowly, he was getting further and further away from the teahouse, where a furious Megumi cursed at Sano and began to leave the restaurant in a huff._

_He made it back safely, quickly packed his few belongings, said a good-bye to Kenshin...and began his life as a wanted criminal._

_He never told Megumi. He never said good-bye to her._

* * *

_"Why did I yell at you so much? Why was there hatred in my voice? Because, Megumi, I had protected you. I owed you something, and I gave my life to those officials. I thought you'd never mix with opium again. I thought you had learned your lesson. That's why I took the blame. That's why. I was wrong."_

His story breathed to her with a soft tone, never raising above a whisper, while all the while she remained with her back against the wall, the dark room surrounding her and Sanosuke trapping her beneath him.

He finished with both a sad look on his face and a sad quality to his voice. His face was so close to hers, and he tilted forward, his lips a breath away from hers...but he stepped back, and she fell to the ground, trembling.

The vicious sound of thunder at her feet, she ran out.

* * *


	16. puddles

Author's Note: I hope I don't disappoint. Please accept my apologies.

Disclaimer: RK is not mine.

* * *

chap. 16 - puddles

Sanosuke cursed loudly.

He had heard her labored breathing, he had felt her clammy skin, and he knew what effect his story -- his truth -- would have on her. Meant to have on her.

She had fallen, and Sanosuke listened with frantic ears for the sounds of her footsteps.

She had let out what he thought was a whimper, before taking off.

His mind went blank. Then..._I have to go after her._

Now, scrambling on his feet, he groped about him, feeling for the doorway he knew she had passed moments before.

He paused, feeling the rough wood of the wall bite into his fingertips. An unfamiliar ground lay before him, and he listened for her disappearing footsteps.

_The trickle of rain..._

_A crash of thunder..._

_An echoing...thump...stomp._

There.

He pinpointed her steps, his mind wild with thoughts.

_I have to find her..._ That was the first thought. _But...then what?..._ His mind told him to find her first, then worry later.

He took a step -- a blind one. And another, and another. Painful seconds later, he heard the stomp of rain grow louder and knew he had reached the entrance -- the door that would lead him closer to her. Hopefully.

Without stopping, he felt through the door. Immediately, he gasped. The pouring rain fell on him in icy sheets, chilling him to the bone and knocking his senses cold. He could feel his thin shirt stick to his wet skin, his once-spiky hair now matting close to the nape of his neck.

His ears erupted with the sound of the rain, hitting the dirt like heavy weights, sloshing about in the mud that encased his feet.

He opened his mouth, felt the taste of rainwater and salt -- his tears? -- and let out one yell:

"Megumi!"

The name was drowned in the abrupt cackle of thunder, but reverberated in his mind.

He held his hands out in front of him -- he had no idea where he was or what was in front of him...and he didn't care.

"Listen," he bellowed, not sure if she was there, not sure if she was listening, "I screwed up. But when you told me you made opium again, I lost it. I gave up my freedom for you, and for what?! Nothing. You did what you always said you wouldn't."

He shivered. There was the trickle of rain again, but nothing more.

The sound of thunder came bursting through the sky, shaking his entire being...though he was positive that he wasn't just shaking because of the cold.

He sighed, almost sure that he was talking to an empty street. "I just...I don't want this anymore. I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of your anger. I want it to go back to how it was, though I know it probably can't."

Again, all that greeted him was the sound of rain, pouring, dumping, leaving behind water that weighed his body down with burdens he couldn't stand to carry. Lightning struck, and he felt its malice; thunder boomed, and he sensed its cruelty pulsing through his body. The wind howled violently, enveloping his being in a cold blanket. In the dark sky, clouds were painted with tears of blood that cast a dark shadow that refused to be illuminated by sun, a harbinger of joy. There he stood, alone, allowing sorrows to wash over his soul and melt him, take him away to some place that would rob all of his senses blind.

And he laughed. He laughed at the ridiculousness of his helplessness. What more could he utter? What more could leave his lips, his body, his heart before someone was satisfied? He laughed until he was sure he could cry, cry bloody tears that would spill down his face, cascade down his body until it was overwhelmed by the rain.

And then a warmth. A hope. That spread its arms around his cold, heartbeatless neck and drowned him in its simplicity. He could not see her: this hope that shared his awareness of the bloody puddles they stood in. But he could feel the heat that was so different from the cold he knew.

He heard the wind whisper It's okay, I'm tired too, before resigning to the comfort that once was. The rain fell, fast and hard, but washed all that blood away, pulling the crimson into cracks and crevices of the mud, seeping below and burying the hurt, the pain, the lies, the secrets, the I love you's, the mistakes, the regrets. Crisp, clean, light, sun was nowhere near, but yet, hope was still present.

Somewhere.

* * *

It was a warm embrace. It wasn't filled with anger or lust or regrets -- it was just. An embrace.

The rain was deafening. He gently pulled away, his wet shirt clinging to his cold skin as he wrapped his arm around her. She let him and slowly led him back inside.

The change was immediate, as a warm blast of air greeted them and painted their cheeks pink. He felt the cold rain fall off of him like waterfalls, gathering at his feet and leaving behind small, clean puddles in the cracks of the wooden floor. Thunder boomed outside, but they remained oblivious to the sound, walking through her small house to the room where he had been spending his days recovering.

She pulled him to his futon, his wet clothes and self and all, seating him so he knew where he was. He could not see her face, but knew that she was calmer than she had ever been in the past days.

She sat next to him, and he could feel her weight being added to his futon, her wet kimono seeping water into the sheets.

"You cold?" he asked, whispering the words softly and gently, careful not to break the mood.

"A little. You should get out of those wet clothes; it's unhealthy, with you recovering and all." He could hear the doctor in her speaking.

He reached over, his arm dangling in midair at first, finding its own way towards her. He found her tangled, drenched hair and began to comb through her tussles, feeling her wet, but warm neck as he brushed against her skin.

"You're not exactly going to stay healthy when you're that wet, either."

"Then let me help you."

Something lingered at the back of her mind, but she ignored it as she took his hand that was on her cheek and returned it to his side. She pulled herself closer to him, finding the delicate folds in his soaking, thin gi and unfolding them past his shoulder blades so that his chest lay bare and chilled to her. Goosebumps crawled on his skin, adjusting to the abrupt change in temperature.

He conceded, hesitant, but allowed her to pull his arms out of the sleeves. Droplets of rainwater remained on his skin, clinging to his warmth.

"Let me see you," he whispered gently, feeling air rush past his toned arms as he reached for her, cupping her face in his palms. With his thumbs, he felt her neat eyebrows, her expressive eyes, her chilled nose, her curved chin, her lips... He reached lower and spread his fingers over her neck like a swan would unfurl its wings. Pushing aside her collar, he felt for a soaked knot, pulling the soggy threads apart.

"You're probably not strong enough for this sort of activity," she murmured, only half-serious as her kimono fell to her waist.

"Screw that."

She smiled; he could feel her lips turn upward and her cheeks flush. He was blind, but he could find her smooth skin and pull her body into his arms. He had no vision, but he had never seen her so clearly.

Reaching up with supple fingers, he found her lips, then lowered his own mouth on hers in a moist, passionate, forgiving kiss.

They were falling...

* * *

Sanosuke entered his slumber contentedly, with the muffled rain pounding against the walls of Megumi's home. His breath was steady, though unaware of the dreams swarming in the back of his mind...

_Fumes of war trapped his senses, and Hoji had to fight the nauseating sensation swimming in his stomach. Atop a fit and gorgeous brown crossbred horse, he galloped as fast as his unsteady mind would allow him to. With Giichi just at his tail, he did not know how much further he could go until the man would catch up with him._

_But he was determined, and Hoji would not allow his withdrawal to affect him._

_In no time, he felt that he had shaken off Giichi and steadied his grip, hearing the booms of cannons in the distance, knowing that he was so close. _

_His hand involuntarily flew to his swollen left cheek. The skin beneath his touch was tender and bruised from where Sanosuke had punched him He knew he was disregarding orders, but he did not care. Sanosuke could thank him later. _

_Delayingly, he halted his horse, feeling the clunks of the horse's hooves slow. Beads of perspiration dotted his forehead, and his heated skin felt clammy as he paused, fighting the migraine and leaning his forehead against the animal's neck. _

_Gathering his senses, he jolted to life, jumping from the horse's haunches and landing on his feet, if not unsteadily. The sounds of war sent adrenaline rushing through his blood, captivating his attention. He stood for a moment on the pier, gazing at the scene before him, suddenly knowing that China was losing...and that She would lose in the end._

_He sighed, but he knew that he had set out to the River for a reason._

_He checked his pouch that was slung loosely around his waist, tied carelessly because of his hurry to escape Giichi's watch. Feeling for his numerous weapons, he took one last breath before crossing the dock. He intended to find a way to the battle, and he couldn't believe his luck when he found a Chinese junk towards the end. _

_The wooden boat was filled with Chinese officers, swaying in the precarious waters. Men shouted orders above the ruckus of the War, hustling here and there to prepare to set off towards the chaos._

_The man that Hoji supposed was in charge, a man with a strong build and a tiny line of a mustache, spotted Hoji and pointed at him, yelling almost distractedly in hurried Cantonese, _

_"You! Get on the damn boat, soldier! We're about to take off!"_

_Hoji stood in a moment of astonishment, not believing his ridiculous luck. Gathering himself, he jostled towards the junk, jumping the wooden rail. When Hoji felt his feet contact with the boat's floor, he knew instantly why the moronic man in charge had thought he was a soldier -- with the introduction of firearms, most Chinese soldiers disregarded the uniform and instead wore peasant's clothing. In fact, the men running around in front of him merely wore thin garments, stained already with gunpowder and the scent of War._

Okay, just ignore that _aku_ on my back, _Hoji thought. By now, he knew that he was still a wanted criminal (innocent or not), and the Chinese character on his back would throw his cover. _

_Running towards the edge of the junk, he felt a wave of nausea and fought the urge to faint. Leaning heavily on the rail, he felt the sharpened wood cut into his arm. The river swirled in his vision, and he told himself to focus, to push away the fatigue and weariness. _

_Looking up, he swore he saw Giichi in the distance, staring back at him in horrid amazement. _

_But just as Hoji caught the man's eye, the junk began to float away, its destination the black clouds of the battle before them._

_They were so close, and Hoji could feel the vibrations of the cannon as it let loose. The junk dipped and dived with the violent waves, and he felt a gruesome taste retch at the back of his throat. Leaning against the railing once more, he tipped his head over in midair and let the white-hot liquid seep between his teeth._

_"Sea sick?" a curious voice asked._

_Hoji kept his head overboard, gathering his thoughts and his stomach. He spit out the remnants of his stomach and tilted upwards, nodding groggily at the soldier who had regarded Hoji with concern._

_"Sure, fine." Hoji was in no mood to talk. His body was tense and eager to get on with the battle. Anything would drive away the sickening feeling in his body._

_The soldier nodded understandingly. In an instant, however, a look of terror crossed the soldier's face as he stepped forwards towards Hoji, knocking him downwards and yelling, _

_"Get down!"_

_Hoji felt his breath knocked out of him as he felt the impact of the boat's hard floor against his chest. His vision swirled, and he was fighting nausea again. Hoji understood why the soldier had pushed him down -- a cannonball came flying through the air and landed squarely in the middle of the Chinese junk, crashing through the wooden boards easily._

_Hoji and the man were thrown against the wall of the railings, with planks of wood catapulting through the air, dust and soot swarming the air in clouds of dust and grime. Hoji felt a thin layer of the gunpowder coat his skin and spit out the metallic taste seeping into his lips._

_In one brief moment, Hoji suddenly realized the boat was falling apart. Cracks formed in the boards near him, and he could feel the junk sinking abnormally towards an angle. Nails that had once held the Chinese junk together were now upended, and Hoji knew he had to get off the sinking boat, fast._

_"Hey, you can get off me now!" Hoji cried, shaking the soldier off of his back, "We have to get outta here!" _

_The man did not respond and instead fell to a heap at Hoji's feet, limp._

_The sick feeling in his stomach returned, as he realized the soldier had just saved his life -- embedded in his back were several sharp pieces of rubble that had been blown to shards by the cannonball. The man had no breath, no pulse, and Hoji took a moment to mutter a thanks before jumping from the remains of the drowning ship with skilled agility. _

_In the air, he dug through his pouch, finding a dagger with a thin wire tied to its end. Taking careful aim, he threw the dagger, the sharp point finding its mark in the high sails of a British ship._

_Hoji landed and caught his breath in his hiding place. The world spun while adrenaline pulsed through his veins, and he did his best to ignore the cravings building up in his mind._

_He looked below him and saw the Britains running around, the noise deafening, the feeling incomparable. He squinted through the thick fog of smoke and residue of the cannons, finding a place to land._

_He found one._

_Without hesitating, without thinking, and without regrets, he plunged into the very depths of hell -- headfirst._

_He landed._

_His dagger found its place without his mind even having to think. He pulled out his throwing stars, sending them through the air, knocking his opponents down -- keeping them down. He flipped, his mind spinning, caught his balance, and contacted his kick with ease, sending the Britain onto his back unconscious, with Hoji still atop him, fighting off numerous others._

_His eyes scanned his surroundings and did a doubletake when he spotted someone very familiar to him -- Matashi._

_"Matashi!" he yelled over the booms of cannons, fighting his way towards his friend. Matashi spun around, his eyes widening uncharacteristically at the sight of Hoji._

_"What the hell are you doing here?!" he boomed in response, his two long katanas frozen in midair. _

_Hoji reached him and staggered, trying to keep his balance although he knew he would not be able to maintain consciousness for much longer._

_"Don't stop fighting on my account!" Hoji bellowed, plunging a dagger into his opponent. Matashi seemed to regain his composure as he sliced his victim down._

_"Captain's gonna kill you when he sees you!" Matashi conversed, artfully dodging an attack before taking the offensive and cutting the poor Britain down._

_"You're not going to tell him!" Hoji huffed as an answer, "Besides..." He paused, "I don't think I'm gonna make it through this one."_

_Matashi either was not surprised to hear this or chose to pretend not to hear Hoji. _

_It was then that Hoji took his first hit. His mind had blacked out momentarily, and he reacted too slowly to avoid the gunshot that pierced his left shoulder. Fire erupted on his skin, and he could feel blood oozing -- his blood._

_"Agh!" Hoji grunted, grasping his shoulder in reflex._

_The man who had shot at him began to charge towards Hoji, before being stopped abruptly by Matashi._

_"Thanks," Hoji muttered, not looking at Matashi._

_Matashi remained silent and continued to fight._

_Suddenly, Hoji realized it was not a Brit who had charged at him with a gun -- the man was Chinese._

_"What the hell?!" Hoji yelled in realization._

_"We're wanted men," Matashi responded knowingly, "They must've realized it just now and acted upon orders by higher-ups."_

_"We can't fight Brits and our own!" Hoji cried in frustration, "Damn this to hell!"_

_Distracted and careless, Hoji did not detect the bullet whizzing straight towards the right side of his chest. The shot contacted painfully. Hoji's ears were pounding blood, raging thoughts thundering through his head._

_With one determined yell, Hoji got to his feet, swaying, bringing down a Britain._

_"Matashi!" came a voice, and Hoji looked up -- it was Meng who had called his comrade's name._

_Matashi did not respond, but looked in Meng's direction, briefly acknowledging his fellow's cry._

_"Matashi!" Meng repeated, "We gotta get outta here! The Captain's hurt real bad, and we don't got a chance! Retreat, dammit! We did all we could, but with the Chinese army attacking us too, we'll all be killed!"_

_Matashi remained silent, and continued to fight, sweat layering his skin, slipping from his face in droplets._

_"Matashi!"_

_"GO THEN!" Matashi bellowed angrily, and Hoji lost sight of the fighter as he disappeared among the many faces of the battle. Meng, too, was gone._

_Hoji's every limb was on fire -- he was alone now. Matashi had left him, Meng had not noticed him, and the Captain had been knocked out. _

_He breathed unevenly, fighting the swimming images floating in his vision. A Brit charged at him, brandishing a sabre. Hoji fought to order his body to move. He couldn't. The blade cut through his abdomen, and his body caught fire with unbearable pain._

_He gasped, the white-hot feeling seeping throughout his entire body. He crumpled to the ground then and there, the Britain hovering over him._

_His eyelids flickered groggily. The Brit pulled out a revolver, cocking it menacingly and firing it at Hoji's chest. _

_Time slowed. _

_Hoji heard the bang._

_Heard the crack as the bullet penetrated his skin._

_Felt the boiling pain._

_Blood rose to his mouth, and he parted his lips, letting the warm liquid trickle down his chin._

_The Britain ran off, presuming Hoji done for._

_Laying in a puddle of his own crimson blood, Hoji's body ached all over, and he closed his eyes, mulling the situation over. The world around him was surreal -- felt surreal -- every bit of it was crazy, simply unreal. The sounds of war engulfed him, suffocated him in a blanket he could not escape -- he was drowning. His body shook violently -- from the effects of the war, from the effects of the withdrawal of the drug. He fought for breath, his lungs were on fire, and he simply could not feel his body any longer._

_This was his repentance._

_This is how he would pay for his foolishness._

_His surroundings began to sink away, began to ebb away into a muffled background that no longer existed._

_No regrets...that was how he would leave...maybe the Captian, in time, would come to forgive him..._

_His mind whirled, then calmed, finding its place in the darkness that had now enveloped him._

_He breathed slowly, slower, and then..._

_...he simply..._

_let go._

Sanosuke woke with a start, his eyes flaring open in one startled wave. Only darkness greeted him, of course, but the images of the dream were implanted in his mind's eye.

He trembled slightly, and he could imagine Megumi sleeping next to him, stirring maybe, but closing her eyes tighter as she kept on slumbering.

He brought a clammy hand up to his face, which was covered with beads of cold sweat. Bringing his index finger up to his right eye, he felt the corner of his eyelid and lifted his hand away. His finger was wet.

It took him a moment to realize he was crying.

* * *


End file.
